NOISEY REVIEWS
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Black Veil Brides' "The Story of the Wild Ones" Is Insane and Terrible
I CAN SEE DIRTY FINGERNAILED PROTO-INSANE CLOWN POSSE FANS WITH LIP PIERCINGS IN FLYOVER STATES STOMPIN MUDHOLES INTO EACH OTHER TO THIS SHIT WHILE WEARING GIANT PILLOWY DC SKATE SHOES. Full Story
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A$AP Rocky's "Long.Live.A$AP" Consists Of Very Rare Gothic Ethereal Soundscapes
NAMASTE TO YOUR FACIAL, PEACE AND BLESSINGS. Full Story
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Pantha du Prince's New Record Is "Space Hippie Light Bondage Music"
"THIS SOUNDS LIKE ME WALKIN THROUGH A WIND CHIME WITH A BONER." - The Kid Mero on Pantha's "Elements of Light." Full Story
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Christopher Owens - "Lysandre"
THIS DUDE HAS OUTSTANDING SESAME STREET SWAG. THIS ALBUM REVIEW HAS BE BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE LETTER "SOFTINGTON." Full Story
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Mike Will - Est. In 1989 Part II (Mixtape)
I CAN PLAY THIS SHIT AND BY THE TIME I GET TO THE WACK SHIT IT DON'T MATTER BECAUSE I HAVE ALREADY FLIPPED OVER A COP CAR WHILE DOING FRENCH MONTANA ADLIBS AND I'M LOCKED UP. Full Story
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Skream - Skreamizm Vol. 7
THIS IS MUSIC FOR DUDES WHO WEAR FLOOR LENGTH LEATHER TRENCH COATS AND GLIDE AROUND 7/11 LIKE GETTING A SLURPEE AND TAQUITOS IS A MISSION LAURENCE FISHBURNE SENT THEM ON. Full Story
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Solange - "True" EP
WHY LIKE 40% OF THESE JOINTS SOUND LIKE THE BAND IS PLAYING FISHER PRICE BABY XYLOPHONES & SHIT? Full Story
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The Twelve Days Of Mero - Jimmy Buffett's "Christmas Island"
MELE KALIKIMAGET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE B YOU LOOK LIKE YOU WORK THE COUNTER AT AN AUTO PARTS SHOP ON A DESOLATE STRETCH OF HIGHWAY. Full Story
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The Twelve Days Of Mero - Weezer's "Christmas With Weezer"
IF YOU WEARING THAT BEANIE BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS WEAR A BEANIE AND NOT CUZ IT'S COLD THIS IS YOUR SHIT. Full Story
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Fatima Al Qadiri - "Desert Strike"
B-2 Bombers and Benedictine Monks Full Story
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The Twelve Days Of Mero - Rod Stewart's "Merry Christmas, Baby"
STANDOUT TRACK: THE ONE ABOUT CHRISTMAS WAS OKAY. Full Story
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The Twelve Days Of Mero - Cee-Lo's Magic Moments
CEE-LO GREEN IS THE BLACK ELTON JOHN. HE HAS GREAT TITS. Full Story
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The Twelve Days Of Mero - Jim Jones' "A Dipset Xmas"
YO I RECOMMEND YOU SNEAK THIS INTO YOUR OFFICE CHRISTMAS PARTY PLAYLIST AFTER EVERYBODY GETS DRUNK. Full Story
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The Twelve Days Of Mero - Smash Mouth's "The Gift Of Rock"
ANYTHING THAT REMINDS ME OF GUY FIERI AND DONKEY EJACULATE IS NOT GONNA SCORE HIGH ON THE DUTCHGUTSOMETER. Full Story
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Ace of Base's Secret Nazi Past
Before he founded Ace of Base, Ulf Ekberg was a member of Commit Suiside, a Nazi punk band.
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Parquet Courts - "Light Up Gold Road Trip" (Full Documentary)
In this new documentary, Noisey follows rising indie rockers Parquet Courts from Mexico to Texas and London as they tour to support their debut LP, 'Light Up Gold.'
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Yung Lean Doer Is the Weirdest 16-Year-Old White Swedish Rapper You'll Hear This Week
Yung Lean raps over pillow-fluffy beats and raps about glory holes and Arizona Iced Tea. Who the fuck is this kid? And why is he like this?
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Adam Ant - The British Masters, Chapter 6
Noisey's John Doran talks with the great post-punk pop star Adam Ant about tribal body mods and layering tape.
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Photos: Taking Acid at Coachella
When Paley sent these photos in, she included a nice little caveat over email that we've decided to reprint here in full, not only because it's too good to edit, but because her photographs of her and her weird buddies riding the snake are some of the best
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R.I.P. Storm Thorgerson (1944-2013)
On Thursday, the hyper-talented graphic designer, artist, and famed album cover creator Storm Thorgerson passed away after a battle with cancer. He was 69 years old.
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The Internet Is Scary
As of six months ago, my Facebook fanpage is like a dojo where hormonal teenagers hone their technique. Here is a heartfelt poem from some kid who wants to rape, kill, and marry me.
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I Accidentally Touched Little Richard's Butt One Time
It was in the Detroit airport. After it happened Little Richard said, "He graze my derriere."
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Listen to St. Lucia's Remix of The Colourist's "Little Games"
Last month, Cali quartet the Colourist released "Little Games," and St. Lucia just pulled a warm Balearic blanket over the whole thing, sanding away its rough edges with bright synths and lightly gated percussion.
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Aaron Montaigne, Godfather of Screamo, is More Interesting Than You Can Ever Hope to Be - Part Two
On surviving combat in Iraq and Afghanistan with the help of magic, 'Bladerunner,' and everything in between.