Skiving off doing actual work at work, I stumbled across one of those remarkable cultural artifacts YouTube was invented for reviving. Now I can't tell you how well known it is across the internet, because I have better things to do with my life than poring over Reddit, but it's incredible. The video is an advert made at some point in the nineties for a "punk" compilation CD, staring two typical punk rockers cheesed off with the quality of compilation CDs. Finally, they've found the perfect one! Crass! Black Flag! The Germs! No, nope, and not at all! But if you like to do your punk rocking quietly in the afternoon, this is the record for you!
Amazing, right? And while you don't expect advertisers to be massive Crass fans, it did leave me a little bit confused as to the advert's motive. I thought to myself, there can only be three possible explanations for this video:
1) It's a genuinely misguided attempt at creating a Punk Rock compilation CD made by a bunch of clueless record label execs with a limited back catalogue.
"Hey, you know who we need on this compilation? That crazy guy who takes his shirt off n' shit"
"Nah, guy with the fuckin' bouffant hair."
"Nah. American guy, real punk rock shit, name begins with an H."
"Erm, Henry Rollins?"
2) They've taken on a liberal interpretation of the word punk, claiming it as more of an idea and an attitude than an aesthetic.
This is about the only thing that John Lydon and Malcolm McClaren could agree on, that punk was not really about a sound or look of any kind, but was more about a kind of rebel spirit. Of course this opened the door for prats in second rate bands to say things like "Of course, Rimbaud was the first punk," but there could be something in it. And why can't Crowded House be seen as punks!? They wore funny shirts and... well that's about it. But, umm, "Always Take The Weather With You" is a nice song right? It's a situationist anthem of sorts, isn't it?
3) It's the finest example of proto-trolling known to man.
When was trolling actually invented? And who invented it? Like punk itself, the concept is hotly debated. But my God, if this advert is taking the piss, then it's like a trolling cave painting, proving that the fine art was flourishing long before AOL was invented, let alone Twitter. There's something about those wigs, the delivery, the very idea that The Fixx could ever be seen as a punk band which screams: TROLLLLL.
So which is it? I'm completely in the dark, so answers on a postcard sent to the comment section please. All I know for sure is not to call that number unless you're looking for a reasonably priced Chinese Takeaway in Northern Missouri.
Ace of Base's Secret Nazi Past
Before he founded Ace of Base, Ulf Ekberg was a member of Commit Suiside, a Nazi punk band.
Parquet Courts - "Light Up Gold Road Trip" (Full Documentary)
In this new documentary, Noisey follows rising indie rockers Parquet Courts from Mexico to Texas and London as they tour to support their debut LP, 'Light Up Gold.'
Yung Lean Doer Is the Weirdest 16-Year-Old White Swedish Rapper You'll Hear This Week
Yung Lean raps over pillow-fluffy beats and raps about glory holes and Arizona Iced Tea. Who the fuck is this kid? And why is he like this?
Adam Ant - The British Masters, Chapter 6
Noisey's John Doran talks with the great post-punk pop star Adam Ant about tribal body mods and layering tape.
Photos: Taking Acid at Coachella
When Paley sent these photos in, she included a nice little caveat over email that we've decided to reprint here in full, not only because it's too good to edit, but because her photographs of her and her weird buddies riding the snake are some of the best
R.I.P. Storm Thorgerson (1944-2013)
On Thursday, the hyper-talented graphic designer, artist, and famed album cover creator Storm Thorgerson passed away after a battle with cancer. He was 69 years old.
The Internet Is Scary
As of six months ago, my Facebook fanpage is like a dojo where hormonal teenagers hone their technique. Here is a heartfelt poem from some kid who wants to rape, kill, and marry me.
I Accidentally Touched Little Richard's Butt One Time
It was in the Detroit airport. After it happened Little Richard said, "He graze my derriere."
Listen to St. Lucia's Remix of The Colourist's "Little Games"
Last month, Cali quartet the Colourist released "Little Games," and St. Lucia just pulled a warm Balearic blanket over the whole thing, sanding away its rough edges with bright synths and lightly gated percussion.
Aaron Montaigne, Godfather of Screamo, is More Interesting Than You Can Ever Hope to Be - Part Two
On surviving combat in Iraq and Afghanistan with the help of magic, 'Bladerunner,' and everything in between.