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Twitter Reacts To Kraftwerkgate

ui.general.by Sasha Hecht

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Kraftwerk's face-melting, life-altering live show.

 

Kraftwerk's 8-performance retrospective MoMA residency went on sale today at noon and sold out almost instantly. Not unlike the backlash unleashed during the LCD Soundsystem days of yore, the internet immediately exploded and hellfire rained down via Twitter in a searing fury. Here are 15 choice tweets:

SHUT IT DOWN, EVERYONE! Jeremy Meyers was once bored several years ago. Really glad I read this tweet before wasting money and multiple hours of my life developing my own opinion based on experience.

Only unfeeling, non-sentient beings could posess the level of poor judgement it would require to subject themselves to a month's worth of Terminal 5 performances.

I am so dedicated to looking dedicated to being cool, I scoured hundreds of tweets to talk shit on the internet about people dedicated to being cool. I'm not quite sure who the bigger loser here is.

I'm selling very exclusive tickets on Craigslist to come over to my apartment and listen to Kraftwerk's catalog on Spotify. You can even use my Bose headphones. Tickets start at $4,000.32 ($20 for the ticket, $3980.32 for the various fees).

@teenmom4evr, you are SO BRAVE. 

No, they're the ones that do that song that goes "ASS ASS ASS ASS ASS" a bunch of times and then the chorus is like "OHHHH OH OHHH." You know the one...

Much like the Occupy Movement, #OccupyKraftwerk will be riddled with overzealous young people desperately wanting to be a part of something without really understanding why they're there (with a few patronizing old dudes sprinkled in the mix for good measure). Also, someone will probably go on and on about legalizing drugs before everyone else tells him to shut the fuck up, you're making us look bad.

Hopping on the trending topic bandwagon to push kiddie porn? Well, you've hit your demographic on the nose, spambots. Music nerds love nothing more than complaining about things via social media and the good old back-of-the-schoolbus beej.

Don't make such generalized, ignorant statements, Dan. Sometimes, they like turning knobs too. 

Everyone is so quick to put the blame on servers or Showclix or James Murphy (Again? Sure, why not?). THE ANSWER WAS SO SIMPLE, YOU GUYS.

One man's "catch" is another's "only actual incentive for sitting in a virtual waiting room for almost two hours afraid to use the bathroom for fear that you'll miss out on your fleeting opportunity to join the ranks of the Chosen Ones."

A thoughtful musical commentary that calls upon a deep understanding of music history and a breathtakingly nuanced analysis of the band's creative progression.

I don't know if this is a widely-understood reference that's going over my head, if this man is the creative genius behind Lady Gaga's live shows, or if he's just a random dude on PCP with an internet connection, but either way, I cannot even begin to tell you people how much money I would throw at this to make it happen.

Cause of Death: Suicide by pills/alcohol induced by prophetic vision of 50,000 people attempting to acquire 2,400 tickets to watch geriatric Germans push a play button. This is literally the only logical explanation. Someone call Nancy Grace.

Leave it to VICE's own Kelly McClure to say all that really needs to be said. 

Maybe we're all bitter that we'll be left out of an obviously monumental musical event and won't be able to post Instagrammed photos to our Facebook with captions like "Kraftwerk is KILLING IT at the MoMA right now!!" Or maybe we just realize that this is all over-hyped insanity and that being able to post mobile uploads and check-in to "Kraftwerk @ Museum of Modern Art" is a lot of people's only real reason for copping a supposedly "priceless" ticket.

 

@sashahecht

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