Do Punks Really Hate Merchandise?: An Embarrassingly Open Letter to Carson Cox
Photo by Jason Bergman
First off, I am sorry.
Not for writing this open letter to you, but because I used to think your band, Merchandise, sucked.
The reason I didn't like your band was not your fault. In fact, I now really like your band. Just this morning, I listened to “Become What You Are” and sang along in the shower. Children of Desire is a genius record and I don't just throw that word around. I mean, okay, you and I know it: we are the recycled generation. We are the regurgitation of our influences and we all sound like those before us, but you guys are paying homage without actually paying homage. I think that’s genius. I also appreciate that you think you just sound like your mother singing to you and not like a British person (which, I assume, is the common comparison you get, duh).
Back to the not-liking-your-band-thing. As I said, not your fault. Our bands played together at some bowling alley in Brooklyn two summers ago. I had been on tour for almost six weeks and was broke and tired and sick of it all. I wasn’t paying attention to anything except my own inner monologue and I thought my life sucked, so I thought the show sucked, so I thought everything sucked. You get it. So, like an airhead prima donna, I wrote your band off without actually listening. For that, I am sorry. I could not have been more wrong.
Obviously, if you are reading this, you have started to question why a sane person would write something like this and that, in fact, I might be insane. I’m writing this because I think it’s kind of insolent, but also kind of flattering and, as you know, the Internet has become the mail and I know you think “all the punks hate Merchandise,” but I’m here to say that is not true. Consider this public fan mail. I think you are a good frontman and I am a front(wo)man too, so it’s like one farmer complementing another on his crops while also admitting at one point, way back when, he pissed on those same crops.
I’m sorry I pissed on your catchy, hook-filled crops.
Ozzy Osbourne Talks to Jack Osbourne About Health, Drugs, and Computers
Ozzy and son Jack Osbourne discuss, health, drugs, and how kids don’t know what “jamming” is.
Noisey Jamaica II - Jesse Royal - Episode 3/6
Jesse Royal invites Walshy Fire and the Noisey crew into his home for a dinner caught, grown and prepared by the man himself.
Freddie Gibbs Responds to Commenters on "Thuggin'," Explains Why Crack Isn't Cool
We asked Freddie Gibbs to respond to some of the comments left on Youtube about his music video for track “Thuggin”.