Chris Brown Faked His Community Service Hours, and then Complained on Instagram About People Giving Him Shit For Faking Said Community Service Hours
There are very few people who I'm 100% comfortable calling a douchebag on the Internet. Chris Brown is one of those people.
The latest incident in the ongoing PR nightmare that is Chris Brown's public life is that yesterday it came to light that the singer faked his own community service instead of just accepting his already-light sentence for assaulting his girlfriend Rihanna. Turns out Brown was actually kinda-sorta out of the country for some of the 1,400 hours he claimed to have spent volunteering at the Tappahannock Children's Center in Richmond, Virginia, and that he was only supervised on nine or ten occasions that he spent time at the Center. If Brown does not make up for the hours he faked, he will go to jail.
So, that's all good and well. But shortly after these allegations came to light, Brown hopped on his now-deleted Instagram feed (@chrisrealbrown, R.I.P.) to complain about how people keep treating him. Brown, who I'm now going to refer to as Chris "Real" Brown until the day I die, feels persecuted because people keep calling him out on his shitty actions. While it's true that most of us do not know Chris Brown personally and that ideally a person's art should be separate from their personality, every celebrity lives with a certain degree of performativity and people aren't gonna forget the super shitty things you do just because you want them to. In closing fuck Chris Brown, fuck Instagram and fuck the Internet in general.
Welcome to Koch Boyz, Where We Document What French Montana and the Koch Brothers Are Up To
Welcome to Koch Boyz, a column dedicated to any time the Koch Brothers and French Montana do anything within a few days of each other.
Watch Mark McGuire's Pretty Personal Video for "The Human Condition"
Former Emeralds guitarist incorporates footage from his Dad's "celebrity roast" back in 89...
Listen to a Preview of Julian Casablancas' New Solo LP
The Strokes frontman teases us with what's to come under his new guise Julian Casablancas + The Voidz.
Dum Dum Girls - "Are You Okay" (By Bret Easton Ellis, Official Short Film)
The Dum Dum Girls team up with Bret Easton Ellis in this anxious tale of chilling neurosis. Plus a very personal interview with Dee Dee.
Inside Icona Pop's Wardrobe on Miley's Bangerz Tour
How can you compete with Miley's tongue? By dressing like a cyber warrior from future planet called Awesome.
Listen to an Unreleased Unwound Track, and Read Our In-Depth Interview
Numero Group has taken it upon themselves to give the cult band the historical treatment they deserve.
Real Estate: The Atlas of New Jersey
The band opens up about being called a beach band and how the internet is ruining our lives.
Babymetal Is Your New Favorite Japanese Nü-Metal Girl Group
Meet the teens who have been sent to destroy you.
Every Time Your Band Does An Encore, A Puppy Dies
And other reasons why encores are terrible.
Eiffel 65 Are the Fathers to Your Style Even If You're Too Much of a Dick to Admit It
The dude who wrote "Blue (Da Ba Dee)" explains why having one hit is better than having none hits.