2 Chainz's Outfit Won All of the GrammysBy Skinny Friedman
2 Chainz hit the Grammys dressed like Simon Belmont from Castlevania, courtesy of Versace. This was easy to envision because the rapper formerly known as Tity Boi made his 8-bit debut earlier this year, courtesy of Adidas. Please make your own “whip” jokes here.
It was an outfit whose major eccentricities effectively masked the lesser ones. While you were admiring the cape and the Louboutin spats, you might have overlooked the suit itself. His silk jacket and shirt are clearly from the Sterling Archer school of color: “black” and “slightly darker black.” You may have not even noticed the stealth bowtie, cloaked in the interior darkness of the ensemble. Rappers in bowties are hardly noteworthy in a post-Fonzworth Bentley world, but an invisible bowtie is an accomplishment.
2 Chainz brought much-needed Count Chocula vibes to the red carpet. He stepped out dressed like a member of Beyoncé’s all-girl touring band. Formal Matador wear.
I think the championship belt was technically a cummerbund, but I had never considered the analogous functions of those two very different pieces of apparel before. And while a search for “metal cummerbund” actually bears fruit, none of the results achieve 2 Chainz’s “getting a hug from a friendly mecha” look. The buckle looks like the interlaced fingers of a smaller Transformer, as if he were Bumblebee’s prom date.
(Also when you Google “cumberbun” it doesn’t even ask you if meant “cummerbund." Very smart.)
Tauheed is an unheralded champ of silly fashion. While Sunday’s Prussian arisocrat look deserves props, I'd like to take this moment to remind everyone about the time 2 Chainz showed up to the Based on a True Story release party apparently styled by Pier 1. While Kanye and A$AP Rocky strike nerves about gender in rap by wearing high-fashion kilts, our hero dresses like a Fort Greene mom hosting a dinner party and nobody bats an eyelash.
He may not have won a Grammy, but on some level, 2 Chainz won the Grammys. Skkrt!
Skinny Friedman knows nothing about fashion. Find him on Twitter here - @skinny412
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