NOISEY REVIEWS
-
The Twelve Days Of Mero - Justin Bieber's "Under The Mistletoe"
JUSTIN BIEBER INFURIATES ME B. I WANNA SUPLEX HIM ONTO A PILE OF FLAMING BRICKS. Full Story
-
LA Vampires By Octo Octa - 'Freedom 2K'
Want to hear what disappoinment sounds like? Full Story
-
The Flaming Lips' One More Robot Remix Album Made My Dick Turn Into A Digimon
YOU KNOW HOW I KNOW YOU DON'T HAVE A GIRLFRIEND MY NIGGA? BECAUSE YOU WROTE A SONG ABOUT YOUR GIRLFRIEND FIGHTING ROBOTS. Full Story
-
Rihanna's "Unapologetic" Makes Me Want To Defenstrate The Shit Out Of Eminem
THIS IS THE BACKGROUND MUSIC TO THE PART OF THE MOVIE WHERE A FLOCK OF COLLEGIATE FEMALES ARE PUTTING ON "SMOKY EYE" MAKEUP AND HIGH FIVING EACHOTHER WHILE DRINKING YELLOWTAIL. Full Story
-
The Dixie Chicks Greatest Hits Reminds Me That Banjos Are Always Racist
YO IF YOU'RE A 55 YEAR OLD WHITE MOM WHO KIDS DON'T LIVE AT HOME THIS IS YOUR MASTURBATION MUSIC B. LIGHT SOME CANDLES AND GET YOUR RABBIT MA, THIS IS YOUR MOMENT. Full Story
-
Wiz Khalifa's "O.N.I.F.C." Proves That He Is Fiscally Irresponsible
MY GUY OVER THE COURSE OF THIS ALBUM YOU BOUGHT LIKE 12089479274 BOTTLES OF ALCOHOL AT NIGHTCLUB PRICES WHICH IS LIKE 549% MARKUP. Full Story
-
Rich Kids' "Straight Like That 3" Is Kinda Good
THESE NIGGAS SOUND LIKE BABY FROGS DOING DRAKE MIXTAPE JOINTS. Full Story
-
"The Odds" By The Evens Is For Longboarding On Klonopin In The Rain
I COULD PROLLY GET DOWN WITH THIS IF I HAD A HEROIN ADDICTION. Full Story
-
Corrosion Of Conformity's Megalodon EP Makes Me Want To Do Sorcery
THIS SOUNDS LIKE A LITTLE BABY GOBLIN THROWING A TANTRUM. Full Story
-
Brian Eno's "Lux" Is Full Of Caucacity In A Mostly Good Way
I'MA PRODUCE A FILM THAT IS JUST A SHOT OF WATER SLOWLY DRIPPING OFF A LEAF ON A DREARY DAY AND THIS IS THE NIGGA THATS GONNA DO THE SOUNDTRACK POW I JUST WON 6 OSCARS BITCH. Full Story
-
Roc Marciano's "Reloaded" Is Very Valuable Intense Shit
THIS NIGGA GOT LIKE 2 FEATURES AND ONE OF THEM IS A GUY NAMED "KNOWLEDGE PIRATE" WHICH IS THE BEST FUCKIN RAP NAME I EVER HEARD EVER. Full Story
-
Guided By Voices Makes Me Depressed About The Future Of My Dick
I JUST GOT DEPRESSED BECAUSE IN A FEW DECADES FROM NOW I'LL HAVE A GROSS SOGGY OLD MAN DICK. Full Story
-
Kid Rock's New Record Is Audio Racism
THIS IS FUCKIN MURICA!! WE DRANK BUD LAHT AND LISSNA KID FUCKIN RAWK!!!! Full Story
-
Crystal Castles - 'III'
I GIVE THIS ALBUM 4 PILES OF DUTCH GUTS OUT OF 5. THAT MIGHT BE A POSITIVE REVIEW I'M NOT SURE YET. Full Story
NOW PLAYING ON YOUTUBE
