Let’s get something straight here people: if music doesn’t make kids violent in the first place (it doesn’t, bring me a study proving otherwise then we’ll talk), then what in God’s name makes you think that music is going to stop kids being violent?
This is something that Thames Valley Police seem to have missed, having decided to fund a song that relays the subtle harms and negatives of stabbing the living shit out of your fellow man. The song is called "Eye For An Eye" and it may just be the worst piece of music that’s been put out this year so far.
Now I’m not going to sit here and make out like the heartfelt message of not murdering people, isn’t good. I mean, we all know jamming blades into teenagers is not cool, and the effect it has on the lives of those involved and in their respective communities is a life-altering horror show. But, that doesn’t mean that we should just let a contrived, garbage-song, made by people who have about as much musical talent as bottle of Sprite go through without it being tarred and feathered.
"Eye For An Eye" is a self-proclaimed grime track (even though anyone who’s ever even heard the word ‘grime’ would know that this is about as ‘grime’ as a Carly Rae Jepsen themed baby shower) with rappers who are as hard as a bag of fucking spanners. Rappers such as Dimples and Treasure... seriously. Dimples, Treasure, Styler and others make up the rag-tag gaggle of spitters, who wander the bullet-shell-littered favela that is High Wycombe, shooting hoops, hanging chill outside the Chicken Cottage, you know, staying out of trouble.
The beat is probably the least offensive thing about it, even though it sounds cheaper than a free sample. But the most offensive thing is the chorus, which is being sung by a girl who's apparently retching violently between takes. Serious, her verses sound more like pained gasps of air, than heartfelt messages 2-da-youtsdem. Has someone fed this poor lady a bleach and wasp milkshake or something? Jesus.
My point is, if you’re going to try and reach out to youngsters that are violent, then perhaps you should enlist musicians that are actually good? I’ve seen countless videos of street side freestyles by 14-year-olds on peoples' Sony Ericssons that have more convincing flows and lyrical content. Content like:
"Live for yesterday/ Live for today/ And I’m hoping for tomorrow/ To be a better day"
I dare you type that out and not crack a smile at how ludicrously disingenuous it is. Whoever said that would 100% swap those bars for ones about toting nines if it meant a millie in the bank, so why even bother? Then it goes on to:
"An eye for an eye will leave the world blind."
No it won’t, it will leave the world half blind. Sure, there’ll be a lot of issues with depth perception, but better than nothing innit?
Also, it has to be pointed out: High Wycombe is not a hotspot for violent crime. Sadly, yes, everywhere has SOME kind of problem with this. But let's compare for example, Wycombe:
To the birthplace of grime music, Bow:
I'm pretty sure all Shires are renowned for their palatial opulence and high standards of living, so what business do these guys have being the Rudi Giuliani to our knife addled NYC?
They don’t have any business making any music at all, let alone music that's supposed to impart some kind of profound social message, positive or negative. Cos you know who hates the police? Criminals. You know who the last sort of people the crims are going to listen to are? Teenage rappers endorsed by Thames Valley Police.
I'm shocked that they had the sheer gall to put this out with the authorities’ names attached to it. Perhaps the production and video costs could have been spent on, oh, I don’t know, petrol for a squad car racing to the scene of a stabbing? Who knows.
Actually, no, give me the money, I want to make a fucking grime single encouraging teenage girls to stop trying to be singers. Tulisa got lucky guys, it’s not happening for you. Go and do something constructive with your lives. Just don’t hurt anyone in the process, mmmkay?