A few weeks ago, I compared indie rock bands to limited edition fast food items. I am proud to report that I felt no shame. A few days ago, I stumbled on to a picture of the Pokémon Koffing. Koffing is easily the greatest Pokemon of all time, and I got another idea: why not find the Pokémon look-a-like of indie rock icons and turn it into a feature? Seriously, why not? It won’t hurt you. So, for no particular reason other than my own amusement, please enjoy the following list.
Damian Abraham and Koffing
KEY SIMILARITIES: Prominent chest art, mischievous attitude, comparable smells (hypothetical).
Ezra Koenig and Squirtle
KEY SIMILARITIES: Diminutive frame, “down for anything” attitude, probably into waterslides.
George Lewis Jr. (Twin Shadow) and Alakazam
KEY SIMILARITIES: Both into “manly shit,” perpetually fucked-up moustaches, both can bend spoons with their mind.
Henry Rollins and Machoke
KEY SIMILARITES: Both exhibitionists, have horrifying gel-hardened hair, and those guns.
Carrie Brownstein and Charmeleon
KEY SIMILARITIES: Both fan favorites, capable of breathing fire, and have never taken any shit from anyone.
Andrew WK and Gyarados
KEY SIMILARITIES: Majestic looks, both masters of the aquatic, and both sure whines of a great party.
Spencer Krug and Raichu
KEY SIMILARITIES: Both into lightning bolts, charmingly doughy, and grossly underrated.
Mr. Muthafuckin’ eXquire and Muk
KEY SIMILARITIES: Both leave puddles wherever they go, both big hits at the strip club.