The internet is a wonderful place where even your craziest of conspiracy theories can be validated by fellow crazy people. Do you believe George Bush is a secret member of a race of reptilian shapeshifters? There is an internet group for that. Or maybe you believe that Andrew W.K. is a secret alter-ego identity, created by Dave Grohl. There are people who believe that too. And of course, if you believe Michael Jackson faked his own death, you will be given a warm illuminati embrace by fellow conspiracy theorists. (Although that Larry King interview with “Dave Dave” was suspicious as hell.) Well, even in death, Michael Jackson is able to be feed his own conspiracy machine by announcing today that “he” will “release” another “album” of “contemporized” songs from his “archives,” featuring eight “brand new” recordings.The new album, Xscape, will be out on May 13 and features the Saturn’s foreskin-themed cover art you see above. Here, let Michael Jackson Michael Jackson's publicists who are definitely not Michael Jackson because he is dead and that would be crazy explain:"The title of this album honors Michael’s album naming process. He always chose a song from the album to name his projects and, beginning with THRILLER, used only one word titles, each with an edgy quality to them. This is true of the new project. Written by Michael Jackson and Jerkins, and produced by Jackson and Jerkins, “Xscape” has further significance in that it is the one track on the album that was ‘contemporized’ by the producer who recorded it originally in the studio with Michael."Hm, true, except "Xscape" is not a real word. Bad, that is a word. Dangerous, that is a word. Xscape sounds like an SUV that was invented by either a rapper or a nerd who watches Stargate SG1. Wait, unless Michael really is alive and this is him trying to communicate with us. Michael, are you reading this? What are you trying to tell us? Are you trying to xcsape from something? Is someone holding you captive and forcing you to put out these unappealing albums of archive material? Tell us! Also, thank you for reading Noisey.For other conspiracy theories, also see:
311 Was an Inside Job
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