Juelz Santana's "God Will'n" Mixtape Makes Me Want to Punch a Train in the Face
YO JUELZ I WAS WAITING FOR YOU TO DO SOMETHING I WANTED TO LISTEN TO SINCE YOU CAME THRU AND SHITTED ON THAT "BEAMER BENZ OR BENTLEY" SHIT B.
THIS SHIT IS FULL OF BANGERS B HOLY SHIT "NOBODY'S SAFE" CAME ON AND I RAN OUTSIDE WIT NO SHOES ON AND KNOCKED OUT A POLICE OFFICER B!! THIS THE TYPE OF IGNORANT SHIT I PLAY BEFORE I DO SOMETHING WILD CRAZY LIKE GO TO THE STORE WITH MY SON IN HIS BABY SEAT AND I DON'T EVEN STRAP THE NIGGA IN AND GIVE HIM A BEER. (A LIGHT BEER THOUGH NAHMEAN I'M NOT A BAD PARENT)
GOOD LINES THAT I ENJOYED:
"I KNOW NIGGAS THAT'LL KILL YOU THEN PAY FOR A MURAL JUST TO STAND IN FRONT OF IT AND TAKE A PICTURE WIT YOU"
"KILL A NIGGA THEN I GO TO CHURCH"
THIS SHIT GOT DOPE FEATURES ON IT TO WHICH IS WASSUP IN MY OPINION. IF YOU A NEW NIGGA DO YOUR THING AND DON'T HAVE FEATURES ON YOUR SHIT. IF YOU A NIGGA LIKE JUELZ THAT'S ESTABLISHED THEN GET YOUR FEATURE ON B. SPEAKING OF FEATURES LIL WAYNE IS ON THIS SHIT AND I REMEMBERED "I CAN'T FEEL MY FACE" AND I WAS HYPE BUT THEN WAYNE STARTED DOING SOME HYBRID DRAKE DAVID LEE ROTH BULLSHIT B. WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO WAYNE SON? I REMEMBER WHEN THESE NIGGAS DID "I CAN'T FEEL MY FACE" AND I WAS LIKE YO THESE NIGGAS NEED TO DO 5 MIXTAPES BUT NOW I HAVE NO DESIRE TO HEAR JUELZ WITH LIL WAYNE PANTING AND DOING ABORIGINAL WAR CRIES ALL OVER THE SHIT. I FUCKS WIT YO GOTTI CUZ THE NIGGA SOUND LIKE THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH HIS JAW. I MEAN THAT IN THE MOST POSITIVE WAY POSSIBLE THO. "BIRSH CAWMEE AWN THUREEWAY NIUGGAS BUTTR PREPAY."
YO WIZ KHALIFA RAPPED ABOUT SMOKING WEED (CRAZY RIGHT?) THAT NIGGA REALLY SMOKES ALOTTA WEED B. SON ALWAYS MAKES ME FEEL LIKE I DON'T SMOKE ENOUGH WEED BUT THEN I TRY TO SMOKE "A POUND IN SEVEN DAYS" AND I REALIZE ITS ATROCIOUS AND WASTEFUL AND DISGUSTING. THIS MIXTAPE IS OFFICIAL BECAUSE IT CONTAINS AN UNINTELLIGIBLE FUTURE VERSE.
THERE'S A COUPLE WACK JOINTS ON HERE BUT MOSTLY THIS IS THE NEW SHIT FOR YOU TO DRIVE AROUND SMOKIN WEED THEN PULL OVER OCCASSIONALLY TO BEAT A NIGGA UP BECAUSE HE PUSHED YOU IN 7TH GRADE OR HE LOOKS LIKE A DUDE THAT DID.
I GIVE THIS SHIT 3.5 PILES OF DUTCH GUTS OUTTA 5 CUZ THERE'S A SONG ON THE SHIT CALLED "BLOG THAT" WITH A TERRIBLE BEAT AND ALSO IT'S CALLED "BLOG THAT" AND HE RAPS ABOUT INSTAGRAM. THAT'S MINUS 1 AND MINUS .5 FOR THE R&BISH JOINTS. THE UNINTELLIGIBLE FUTURE VERSE IS WASSUP THOUGH.
STANDOUT TRACK: "NOBODY'S SAFE" IS FUCKIN BANANAS B. I JUST PUNCHED A TRAIN IN THE FACE TO THIS SHIT.
Stream God Will'n Below:
THE KID MERO dispenses #KNOWLEDGE on Twitter - @THEKIDMERO
The Weirdest Records of All Time
Featuring earthquake recordings, records pressed with diarrhea, and breastfeeding soundtracks.
Get Blazed and Make Some Custom Weed-Themed GIFs of Wiz Khalifa, Ty Dolla $ign, B.O.B. or Classified for 4/20
Are you high right now? Then you'll love making a GIF.
Todd Terje's "Leisure Suit Preben" Video Pays Tribute to Porny Video Games and It's Great
It's rare these days that a music video thoroughly captures the aesthetic of a musician while indulging the quirk necessary for potential virality or meme-fication.
I Was in a Coma and Now I'm a DJ
Meet DJ Disable.
420 Songs About Weed
Where in the World Can Migos Meet the Plug?
Including a womb, on the back of a dolphin in the middle of the ocean, and the set of 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III'.
We Interviewed Ron Jeremy About His Perfect, Piano-Playing Penis
Ron Jeremy made a seven-inch about appreciating classical music where he plays "1812 Overture" with his schlong.
Chiraq Versus the World
Tragedy at home is familiar, and thus easier to ignore.
The Hottest Alt-Bros at Coachella
"Wait, is your cum gluten-free?"
A Canadian in Tokyo Made a Song Out of Japanese Suicide Statistics
"What if we lived in a society where all historical records were converted into a type of music and people in school would sit around and listen to it?"