Why The BBC's Sound Of 2013 Isn't Shit

Do you know what's really nice? Winning stuff and getting recognised for good work. Which is why I always do a week-long sigh at musos hyena-pouncing on awards like BBC's Sound Of 2013, y'know, once they've finished moaning at length about how the Mercury Prize isn't relevant any more like nobody has made that comment ever before…ever. The curse of having a "credible" award is that it invites old ass music journalists, whose haircuts aren't relevant, to mouth off with faux-profound shit like "SHOULDN'T NEW MUSIC BE SCARING THE OLDER GENERATION? WHAT HAPPENED TO PUNK?" in-between cries of "Why isn't [carefully picked artist which shows how down with the kids I am] included? God, who were the judging panel on this? Let's hunt them down and set their homes on fire." Ummmm, you are the older generation babez, sit down.

ANYWAY, sorry that clearly none of this shit is GG Allin or whoever, but not sorry that the Sound Of 2013 long list has some acts that have simply been making good music. Yeah, you're damn fucking right I'm being sincere. So, here are my top five…totally not Noisey biased…picks of the litter.

AlunaGeorge

Aluna Francis' voice (soz George, still love you) is the stand-out talent on this singer/ production duo. Her disarmingly sweet, slightly nasal vocals on "Your Drums, Your Love" weave through George Reid's bleepy-bloopy galactic beat. Yup, no weighty political statements being made here, just modern, space-y sounding and very British R&B, in the same ilk as up-and-comers like Two Inch Punch. They make the kind of heart-string pulling songs that you can listen to at full volume while you're rifling through your ex's social networking sites, looking for clues that he's totally still in love with you. AMIRIGHT?

Angel Haze

Michigan-born rapper, Haze, took the wind out of every braggadocios rapper's sails this year, when she released her freestyle over Eminem's "Cleaning Out My Closet", that was as shocking as it was lyrically hard. I mean, if laying out details of how you were anally raped by a family member for all the internetz to hear isn't pushing some boundaries, then I throw the towel in. But aside from acts of personal courage, Haze's no-nonsense, pleasingly verbose style has fast put her in the same league as last year's lady rapper nominee, Azealia Banks.

Haim

"OMG! GIRLS PLAYING INSTRUMENTS!" has kind of been the main pull toward Haim this year, like, look at us casually tearing shit up while having really great hair in the process kind of vibes. Which is sort of unfair because aside from their effortless air of cool, they've put out extremely solid pop-melody tracks like "Forever", built up an enviable reputation as live performers and leant their music to some surprising cherry-picked remixes like Cyril Hahn's, to keep the usually indie-haters (like me) from bitching. And they do have great hair, yes.

King Krule

"He looks about 12-years-old right? And, ugh, oh God he went to the Brit school, what a disgusting shit, let's throw rocks at him" — yeah, I was exactly like that when I first stumbled upon Krule. The thing is he straddles this weird grey area of indie, but then throws in loads of fancy electronic production and is down with the Rinse FM crowd…and THEN he finishes all his stuff off with his weird yelping vocals. It's all very confusing on first listen, but if you stick it out there's a lot of layers to appreciate in his genre sluttiness. An acquired taste I reckon, but once you're hooked, you're hooked.

Peace

Brummie band Peace have done a really smart thing this year, of not being being completely fucking hateful and insisting on being deadly serious about their music. In turn they've helped usher in a bunch of other non-hateful indie bands, with the likes of Swim Deep and Splashh, in producing upbeat, semi-psychedelic indie pop. Basically, they look like they're having tons of fun and aren't just a bunch of crymaxers with one good album in them.

Lastly, an honorary mention for The Weeknd nomination whose date-rapey, reverb heavy R&B should really have been on last year's list. And there's your helping of snark for the day.