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Music

Tyga's 'Hotel California' is Half Good as Long as You Forget You're Listening to Tyga

THE FACT THAT YOU COULD CLONE THIS NIGGA 30 TIMES AND STILL NOT EVEN BEGIN TO APPROACH THE WEIGHT LIMIT OF A STANDARD ELEVATOR IS IRRELEVANT WHEN YOU HEAR THE DRUMS ON "500 DEGREES," YOU FEEL ME?
TK
New York, US

YO I'M NOT MAD AT TYGA B. NIGGAS HATE THIS NIGGA BECAUSE HE'S NOT SPITTING BARS OF FURY AND HE'S CORNY OR WHATEVER BUT THIS NIGGA MAKES THE MOST BEST STRIP CLUB MUSIC OUT THERE RIGHT NOW. I MEAN CAN YOU NIGGAS EVEN DISPUTE THAT? "RACK CITY" IS RESPONSIBLE FOR FINANCING OD STRIPPER BUTT SURGERIES CUZ EVEN THE NEW BITCH THAT THINKS "TWERK" MEANS "STAND NEXT TO THE POLE AND FLEX YOUR CALVES" GOT RAINED ON WHEN THAT SHIT CAME ON. NAHMEAN EVEN THE STRIPPERS THAT REFUSED TO EXPOSE THEY TITTIES GOT PAID TO THAT. THIS DUDE IS ESSENTIALLY AN ADVOCATE FOR SINGLE MOTHERS.

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WIZ KHALIFA IS ON THIS ALBUM TWICE, AND BOTH SONGS SUCKED. YO THIS IS A RARE OCCURENCE BECAUSE USUALLY ON A SHITTY ALBUM I CALL THE SHIT SHITTY CUZ IT'S LIKE 3 OR LESS JOINTS ON THERE. EXACTLY HALF OF THIS ALBUM IS STRAIGHT BABY GOBLIN DIAPER. THE OTHER HALF IS PRETTY GOOD "DRIVING DRUNK" / STRIP CLUB MUSIC. YOU NIGGAS COULD BE MAD CUZ THIS NIGGA LOOKS LIKE A TATTOOED LADYBOY FROM NONG KHAI, BUT THAT DJ MUSTARD NIGGA FUCKIN LACED HIM WITH SOME MINIMALISTIC BUT POWERFUL BANGERS B. SO BASICALLY IT DON'T MATTER WHAT THIS NIGGA SAYS OVER THE BEATS CUZ THEY ARE REALLY FUCKIN GOOD BEATS B. "MOLLY" IS THE WORST SONG OF THE DECADE THOUGH, HOLY SHIT THAT'S A TERRIBLE FUCKIN SONG! WOW! THE COMPUTER VOICE BITCH, THE HOOK, THE SUBJECT, THE VERSES. NO REDEEMING VALUE TO THAT SONG B. CONVERSELY "DOPE" WITH RICK ROSS FUCKIN SLAPS.

TYGA LOOKS LIKE WIZ KHALIFA'S FILIPINO/KOREAN COUSIN NAHMEAN? BOTH THOSE NIGGAS COULD VERY COMFORTABLY LIVE IN A PORTAPOTTY TOGETHER. THE FACT THAT YOU COULD CLONE THIS NIGGA 30 TIMES AND STILL NOT EVEN BEGIN TO APPROACH THE WEIGHT LIMIT OF A STANDARD ELEVATOR IS IRRELEVANT WHEN YOU HEAR THE DRUMS ON "500 DEGREES," YOU FEEL ME? IF THIS NIGGA AND SOULJA BOY GOT INTO A FIGHT IT WOULD SOUND LIKE A BAG OF LEAVES RUSTLING, BUT THAT HAS NO BEARING ON THE FACT THAT YOU WILL THROW YOUR TAX RETURN IN THE AIR IF YOU AT SUE'S RENDEZVOUS WHEN "GET LOOSE" COMES ON. SO WHAT YOU GOTTA DO IS SEPERATE THE MAN FROM THE MUSIC AND DRINK A BOTTLE OF THE BROWN LIQUOR OF YOUR CHOICE AND JUST LET YOUR INHIBITIONS GO B. THERE'S SOME JOINTS ON HERE. I KNOW THAT PROBABLY UPSETS YOU RAP JOURNALIST BLOG FACE ASS NIGGAS CUZ YOU WANT US TO LISTEN TO SKYZOO AND NOT THIS BUT SORRY DOG I'M NOT LISTENING TO A NIGGA NAMED "SKYZOO" BECAUSE THAT SOUNDS LIKE A FUCKING AVIARY IN TAIWAN.

I GIVE THIS 2.5 PILES OF DUTCHGUTS OUTTA 5. THAT RATING REFLECTS THE FACT THAT 50% OF THIS ALBUM FUCKIN SUCKS. ANYWAYS ITS 7AM AND I'M AT MY DESK LISTENING TO CHIMBALA, BOUT TO DRINK THIS COFFEE MUG THATS NOT FULL OF COFFEE. *WINKY FACE*

STANDOUT TRACK: "500 DEGREES" IS A FUCKIN BANGER BUT FOR SOME REASON THE CLEAN VERSION SOUNDS BETTER CUZ WHEN THE NIGGA TYGA CUSSIN THEY CHOP IT UP A LIL BIT SO IT ADDS A LITTLE "PANACHE" ALSO WAYNE'S VERSE IS PRETTY SKRONG. YO I'M LISTENNING TO CHIMBALA NOW AND YOU SHOULD PROLLY SPOTIFY THE NIGGA AND PLAY HIM AT YOUR NEXT WHITE PEOPLE PARTY THEY WILL BUG OUT AND THINK YOU KNOW ABOUT BROWN PEOPLE MUSIC.