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25 Tweets Morrissey Has in his Drafts Folder

Moz has just joined Twitter.

As you all know, Morrissey has joined Twitter. In many ways, it's a surprise it's taken the Lord of the Indie Dance this long to join a medium that seems almost designed for him. Men with strong opinions and a certain self-regard are to Twitter what ducks are to water and it seems only a matter of time before dear Moz is presiding over never-ending arguments with fellow trolls from all four corners of the globe. Perhaps, though, Twitter is just too Morrissey for Morrissey. He's certainly seemed reticent so far. Luckily, I was given access to his drafts folder, so I know what we all have to look forward to. Here are Morrissey's next 25 tweets…

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1. ICYMI: The Best of The Smiths

2. The offensive boredom of watching 22 millionaires prance around in pursuit of pigskin #WorldCup2014

3. Who out there knows a first-rate axe-wielding maniac to “scare” a mendacious former drummer? #MorrisseyRequest

4. #WhatJayZSaidToSolange My music is unspeakable and rap is a criminal art form

5. @MrDDyer Call me morbid, call me pale, I've spent six long years on your trail

6. Gracie Fields, Rosemary Clooney, Diana Dors #BringBackOurGirls

7. What it would be like to have a thuggish Russian annex me, I ponder #Crimea #Me

8. The rain falls hard on a humdrum town:

10. Before destructive humans roamed this planet, when “meat” was a construct yet to be created #tbt

11. This Charming Man:

12. Your machine is broken. I am not the hateful bass player RT @BuzzFeed Which member of The Smiths are you? Take our quiz!

13. That really is rather priceless RT @[BBCSporf 2](http://twitter.com/BBCSporf 2) M.City fans prank their Grandma by pretending City have scored early v West Ham! Her reaction is priceless!

13. What is a Bantersaurus? Doubtless another harmless creature senselessly butchered for its meat

14. Scolding my houseboy Armando for not changing the urea filters in the swimming pool #FirstWorldProblems

15. Just arrived in South Shields. Anyone know a good place to get a gluten-free egg white spinach omelette? #MorrisseyTour2014

16. @Johnny_Marr How about a flaxseed smoothie one of these days? I live in Beverley Hills. Where are you?

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17. Come to daddy:

18. If one were to butcher a pig, how would one go about it? Would a gun suffice? Asking for a friend

19. I started something… #TypicalMe

20. A son to nobody’s mother, born in a one-pot backwater, how could a stray wastrel like me #check his #privilege?

21. @burgerking How does it feel to be flame grilling in the fires of hell?

22. YOU IDIOT RT @edballsmp Ed Balls

23. Kindly follow me back? RT @BestOscarWilde A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.

24. SMH RT @UKIP Number of EU workers on the up. Up 115,000 within the last year http://uki.pt/MY1Zhi

25. Did you write “A Rush and a Push and the Land is Ours”? No, you did not. So shut up.

As seen by Oscar Rickett. Follow Oscar on Twitter.

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