YO THIS GUY BAAUER GOT 3 SONGS ONE OF WHICH IS "HARLEM SHAKE" WHICH EVEN IF I LIKED ELETRONIC MORNING FART NOISES AND SNARE ROLLS I WOULD NOT FUCK WITH THIS BECAUSE NIGGAS RUINED IT WITH ALL THE YOUTUBE VIDEOS. SO ONE OF HIS JOINTS I'M NOT THRILLED ABOUT NAHMEAN ALSO THERE'S A VOCAL SAMPLE OF A NIGGA BEING LIKE "TERRORISTA" AND MY MOM WAS OVER HERE TO BABYSIT MY SON & HEARD THAT SHIT. SO NOW ASIDE FROM HER THINKING I'M AN IRRESPONSIBLE DRUG ADDICT SHE THINKS I'M MOBBING WITH THE TALIBAN. MY MOM IS WILD B. SHE DON'T EVEN DO ANY TYPE OF DRUGS BUT SHE ALWAYS GOT WEED PARANOIA ON 100000 TRILLION. SHE THOUGHT I SHOT SOMEBODY IN THE HOOD AT LEAST 20 TIMES BECAUSE SHE HEARD GUNSHOTS I'M LIKE MA I DON'T EVEN OWN A GUN (THAT I KEEP HERE) AND WHY YOU ALWAYS THINK I'M DOING THE SHOOTING AND NOT GETTING SHOT? DO I LOOK THUGGED OUT? I DON'T EVEN HAVE ANY RIP TATTOOS OR TATTOOS OF WEAPONS OR NUDE WOMEN B. THEN SHE SAYS "YOU'RE EXACTLY LIKE YOUR FATHER" IN A VERY "SMH" TONE OF VOICE AND I'M LIKE "YOU'RE MARRIED TO MY FATHER MA. WHY YOU ASSIGINING NEGATIVE CONNOTATIONS TO YOUR OWN SPOUSE?" THEN SHE SUCKS HER TEETH AT ME LIKE "STFU NIGGA" AND MAKES SOME PERNIL & TOSTONES.THIS OTHER JOINT IS CALLED "YAOW!" AND IT SOUND LIKE PRESCHOOL BABY SEIZURE MUSIC. THIS NIGGA MUSTA CALLED IN SOLANGE'S STUDIO MUSICIANS TO PLAY BABY INTSTRUMENTS BECAUSE I RECOGNIZE THE INSTRUMENTATION FROM MY SON'S SESAME STREET "LETS PLAY A FUCKIN STUPID BABY INSTRUMENT TOGETHER" DVD. WHENEVER I HEAR MUSIC I PICTURE PEOPLE DANCING TO IT AND THIS IS SO PERFECT FOR WHITE PEOPLE TO DANCE TO BECAUSE THERE'S NO WAY TO NOT LOOK LIKE AN ASSHOLE DANCING TO THIS. WHITE PEOPLE ALMOST GET A SICK ENJOYMENT OUTTA DANCING LIKE ASSHOLES B. THIS IS A TRUE STORY I WENT TO "PYRAMID" I THINK IT WAS CALLED WITH A GIRL I WAS FUCKIN, I HAD NO IDEA WHAT IT WAS OR WHAT MUSIC THEY WAS GONNA PLAY BUT I WALKED IN THERE AND NIGGAS WAS PLAYING THE SHIT OUTTA SOME RAM TRILOGY DRUM & BASS WILD SHIT AND SHORTY WAS LIKE "YOU WANNA DANCE?" AND I'M LIKE, YOU GO AHEAD I'LL JOIN YOU IN A MINUTE…DOG, THIS BITCH GLIDED ONTO THE DANCEFLOOR AND STARTED DOING THE SAME EXACT DANCE CHRIS FARLEY WAS DOING IN TOMMY BOY AT THE GAS STATION B. I WAS LIKE NAHHHHH BRUH. BUT I DID JOIN HER AND KINDA JUST STOOD THERE WHILE SHE STYLISTICALLY STEPPED ON 4978 IMAGINARY ROACHES. THEN WE WENT BACK TO HER CRIB AND 69'D.THE LAST JOINT IS CALLED DUMDUM AND IT SOUNDS LIKE I BLEW 4 GRAMS OF MOLLY UP MY NASAL AND WAS INSTRUCTED TO "MAKE A SONG FOR WHITE PEOPLE USING ONLY FROOTYLOOPS AND CRIME MOB SAMPLES." TELL ME THIS SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING ELSE. YOU CAN'T. ALSO I'M VERY CONFUSED BY THESE SUBGENRES THAT DIPLO BE MAKING UP. DIPLO MAKES UP ALL THESE SUBGENRES CUZ THE NIGGA IS RICH. RICH NIGGAS CAN MAKE UP GENRES AT WILL B. IF I CAME OUT TOMORROW WITH SOME MUSIC AND CALLED THE SHIT "MOOMBAHTON" NIGGAS WOULD LAUGH ME OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH B. VICE WOULD FIRE ME AND BE LIKE "YOU NEED TO SEEK IMMEDIATE HELP FOR YOUR ADDICTION" CUZ THEY WOULD THINK I'M SMOKING WILD CRILLZES. DIPLO PULL UP TO THE SCENE IN GIVENCHY LIKE "YO NIGGA CHECK THIS SHIT OUT" *PUTS ON AUDIO OF FROGS BURPING WHILE FUCKING* THIS IS A GENRE NOW. IT'S CALLED *LOOKS AROUND* "MAILBOXAROTICA PUNK" THEN THE NEXT DAY THE SHIT IS ON THE COVER OF SPIN AND NIGGAS ARE CALLING SOME NIGGA WITH A COMPUTER A "PIONEER OF THE MAILBOXAROTICA MOVEMENT"SHOUTOUT TO DIPLO.I GIVE THIS SHIT 2 PILES OF DUTCHGUTS OUTTA 5 BECAUSE I'M DRINKING COFFEE. "MERO WHAT THAT GOT TO DO WITH ANYTHING?" NOTHING.STANDOUT TRACK: YOOOO YOU WANNA HAVE A FLASHBACK? THROW ON RAYVON - "BASHMENT PARTY". THAT'S MY TRACK OF THE DAY FOR YOU NIGGAS.The Kid Mero's verion of a Harlem Shake video is a video of him issuing a roundhouse kick through a computer and into your face. He's on Twitter - @THEKIDMERO
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