So, singer-songwriter-skilled-tapper-of-a-guitar musician, Marnie Stern, is celebrating the release of her forthcoming album The Chronicles Of Marnia by pimpin' herself out for an all expenses paid date with one lucky, lucky man. The unique marketing technique is filled with lots of cute/ twee criteria like:Must enjoy "Law and Order", cute Jewish ladies, and petting dogs while eating chicken wings. Good sense of humor critical, doesn't mind his lady touring a lot, must live in New York, no drug addicts, creeps, stalkers, slackers, or vegans. Age, race, and religion: not a factor.I agree, fuck vegans! The full offer continues…Please email all applications to datemarnieonreleasedate@gmail.com.Name:Email:Age:Location:Height:Are you gainfully employed? Elaborate.When/how long was your last relationship?What are your hobbies/interests?What qualities do you most enjoy in a woman?List any anti-depressants you currently take:What do you know about Marnie and why do you want to date her?What would your most recent ex-girlfriend say about you? Can we get her email?Where would you take Marnie on a first date and why?It's all on the right side of sarcasm and yet, sorry to sound like someone who spends their life being professionally offended, it still makes me feel a bit…
Like, I get it, Marnie (and her publicist) imagined a queue of harmless and adorable men, in purposely awkward outfits, clutching some flowers they picked, ready to take her on a quirky picnic or to a poetry slam or some shit. There'll be a photographer documenting how laidback she is about the whole thing, with shots of her date laughing at some self-deprecating joke she's just made, cos she's just THAT kinda artist, y'know? She's down to earth! But I feel like, in actual fact, the underlying tone is "Imagine if you got to fuck a mildly famous lady musician? Sweet, AMIRITE GUYS?"Remember when bass afficionado Cooly G did a similar thing? Albeit it was for a date at Nandos and advertised via Britain's underground "urban" music scene, rather than to Stern's painfully polite indie fanbase. But when you invite responses like: "a quick shag behind a dumpster is all she deserves the dirty little skank" and "she can shit on my face anytime", you've got to wonder why an artist would bother opening themselves up for that kind of lame objectification. If you're going to pull a PR stunt, why make it one where people can take pot-shots at you for a glorified OKCupid ad? Do you not have the confidence in the strength of your own album?Anyway, here's the rub, if I get real serious and lose my shit about how all my independent lay-deez shouldn't have to define themselves by a relationship, THAT invites the response that maybe I should just chill the fuck out. It's Marnie "gentle guitar tunes" Stern, this is all completely harmless and jeeeeez why are my panties in such a twist.But, I dunno, we're all writing about it I guess, I just think it's in slightly poor taste?
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