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Music

Jack White Defends TIDAL: “Vinyl in the Bedroom, Baby”

White answered some very hard-hitting questions from fans. Things got TENSE.

Jack White has come under scrutiny lately for his involvement with TIDAL, Jay Z’s Spotify-killing, paid media streaming service. Many have been apprehensive about the idea of supporting a service that, from its ads anyway, appears to only be promotional and beneficial to the wealthiest, most established of artists. So to explain more about the intricacies of this new business venture, he was interviewed today by the reputable journalistic publication called His Record Label.

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White, who has a firm, tangible grasp on reality, fielded some really tough questions from fans via Thirdman Records’ website. The no-holds-barred Q&A session had the not-at-all staged personal touch of a town hall Presidential debate. Let’s take a look at some highlights here…

Ah, well, kinda thought there would be more to that answer but when you put it that way, Jack, we totally understand the complex intricacies of your business model and your financial relationship with small artists. Punk is good. #TIDALforALL. Interview over, we guess! …Oh wait, there is more!

Sweet. Don’t need to hear the ideas, Jack. Just wanted to know if you have ‘em or not. We feel better now. Any more questions? You, in the back with your hand raised. Do you have a question or maybe just a general statement you want to run by Jack White?

First of all, good question that wasn’t technically a question. Yeah, what the music world is lacking these days are multi-million dollar country albums. Any others? Yes, you sir, looking confused still…

OK, again, not a question but we also are glad music is happening. Any more?

Man, Jack White is just like us, bussing tables and going to the movies and overpaying for albums back in the day. We believe that TIDAL is good now.

Jack, this is a hard-hitting question, Jack. Jack, thank you so much for taking the time to talk about hanging out with famous people last night, Jack. Thanks, Jack, we feel better now, Jack. TIDAL, Jack. Don’t let go, Jack. Jack.

We were a little skeptical there but since Jack knows of some artists we’ve never heard of, he’s probably right. Plus, we want to keep seeing Spielberg movies so we’d better pay for TIDAL. Imagine we didn’t get JAWS back in the day because some selfish person didn’t cough up $20, which, to Jack White is how much a gallon of milk costs.

Thanks, Jack. Definitely wanted to end this interview with the mental image of you having sex, Jack! Gonna go sign up for TIDAL now.