A First Date With... Seasick Steve

All photos by Jake Lewis

This story originally appeared on Noisey UK.

It’s tiring to date young guys. Lacklustre Tinder dates, sub-par shags in stale flats, promises of weekend hangs that trail off into radio silence as you both become too apathetic to respond. What I need is a man. Someone with a wealth of old dude experience; who can teach me a thing or two about group sex and everlasting love.

Seasick Steve has experience. He’s an Americana rock star for starters. He travels the world playing the blues and making drunken hoedowns a reality. In the past he’s been a farm laborer, a self-professed hobo, a carnie, a cowboy, and a busker. And soon he’s got tour dates over here so plenty of time to focus on what’s important: me.

When my editor set us up on the date, the naysayer in me said: “Hannah, 71’s a little on the senior side.” But frankly, I’m not losing this post-Uni stone anytime soon and there are still a couple of winter months to get through. We arrange to meet at former petrolhead hangout Ace Café because I heard he’s into motorcycles. I feel like I have the upper hand—he’s played the bill at every bloody festival I’ve been to, so as far as I’m concerned the first date awkwardness has been alleviated. But he was late. Fifteen minutes late. Half an hour late. Then really late.

Just as I was about to give up the old man dream and return to predictable spring chickens, my grey knight arrived. He’d been stuck in the traffic. Which is fine. As long as, obviously, it wasn’t going to be a habit. I order us some beers and get my game on.

You’ve been to this café before, right Steve?
Yeah, I came here in the 70s. I got a 1948 Indian Chief, a big old bike, bit like a Harley. It’s cool. Look it up later.

You ride bikes a lot still?
Yeah, why? You wanna ride?

Yeah! If you had it over here could we go for a ride now?
I have it in the country but it’s down in Cornwall.

That’s a shame. I would have loved a post-date ride.
You don’t know how far I would’ve driven…Ha. If you and me were really on a date, I’d get arrested. That would not be allowed.

I’m over 18.
Barely.

Okay. I really am 23 though. My mum says age is just a number.
I play these shows and all these girls are still screaming at me so age must just be a number. I wouldn’t scream at me. Shit. Music is an amazing thing. It transforms even someone like me into a buff person. I feel full of it. I’m up for anything. I only got famous like 6 years ago and never dreamed of this happening so now that it’s happening, it makes me feel really young. I’m going all over the world, having fun and shit.

Do you have any Seasick Steve groupies?
Yeah. We got the girls that always come around but I don’t get into that. That’d be wrong. I mean, it’s a great compliment but hello [knocks on imaginary Groupie’s head] I’m old enough to be your granddad.

As a couple, we’d face discrimination due to the age gap.
People’d say I’m a pervert and lock me up. I don’t know if I’d care about that. But I’d hate to leave you alone when I died, you see.

That would be sad.
You’d just be getting going and I’d be dropping off! If you were in love with me, you’d be all sad and shit. That’s the only bad thing about that.

I think it’d work out.
Yeah, but you’d have to be strong. You’d have to not care what people thought.

I could do that in the name of love.
You’s a special girl then.

You’ve had two wives right? You must have learnt a lot about relationships. Tell me some gems.
You wanna know for real? To stay together with someone – which I didn’t know the first time – is a lot of work. It’s not a game. It’s a lot of work with a serious benefit. It’s hard to live with someone but if you both do the deed and work at it, the end thing is amazing. Most people get into a relationship kind of flippantly. Like “you’re cute: let’s do this.” Then, all a sudden, the flush is over. That’s the main thing I think, being flexible. Realising there’s someone else. The key is work and respect. But people don’t want to work. So they say, go away. But it’s okay to work, as long as you find someone that’s worth doing the work with. Use your intuition.

Have you had relationships in the past where you haven’t worked at it?
Oh, yeah. Like a million.

How many women have you had?
I don’t know, I can’t remember. It’s all faded into the past now. But if you was my girlfriend, I’d remember. You got beautiful eyes. You’re making me blush. But it’s probably just because I’ve had half a pint and haven’t eaten yet.
That’s probably true.

Do you write and play songs for your wife?
Yeah. I always have to. She’s a critic. She can’t be a fan because we’re too close. She don’t wanna be a fan though, she wanna be a buddy.

What kind of song would you write for me right now?
It’d be kinda superficial because I don’t know you so well. But I think I’d have to write about your eyes. Sometimes when you look into people’s eyes, you don’t see nothing. But sometimes you see something.

What do you see?
My feeling is I see real sweetness there. I don’t know what kinda girl you are or nothing but I see that. Your eyes don’t lie. I also see you’re a beauty and that beauty ain’t just here to see, it’s in here. Yep, your eyes would inspire me first.

[I realise things are progressing a little fast. Forget my eyes, Steve’s are starting to get a bit glazed. It was time to dull down this conversation.]

Tell me about the songs on your new album?
I actually like my new record. Sometimes you don’t care anymore. You gotta write the songs, record them, listen to them a million times, mix ‘em, master ‘em. But these ones I still really like.

What was inspiring you to write those? Couldn’t have been my eyes because we hadn’t met yet.
It’s real varied. There’s one called “Summertime Boy” about how I hate the winter and love the summer because the girls look all pretty and you can go to the beach and shit and go surfing. Then there’s some boogie songs on there. There’s a real pretty song called “Heart Full of Scars” about your heart getting worn as you get older. And there’s a song called “Roy’s Gang” about when I was at home and just wanted to go out and get back on the road again.

Do you get itchy feet when you’re not touring for too long?
Yeah. I’ve lived in 60 houses in the last 32 years. I didn’t own ‘em, I just rented ‘em. We just keep moving. I left school when I was real young and just kept moving, I just can’t stop. I just travel. I got itchy blood.

You should pick me something on the jukebox. You got any change?
It’s like 50p right?

[At this point, I try to avoid paying. I mean, it’s a date right and he kept me waiting. Eventually, the nice PR gives us money.]

It has to be something representative of our time together today.
Dang. Something short and sweet then. Alright, I found it. One of the greatest songs ever made. It’s a beautiful love song.

[Righteous Brothers - "Unchained Melody" starts warbling on the overheads.]

I feel weak. I’m practically Demi.
Fuck, I love that scene. It made me wanna jump in there and get on that clay. Get outta there dude! Anyway, we got our song now.

We do. This relationship is advancing faster than it should have done in 40 minutes.
Nah. It’s just true love. You know what – you need an older man with cash, not these boys who can’t pay their way. It takes a bit of the charm out of it. But then on the flipside, if you find someone with a lot of money, they can be a drag too. They think their money makes them special. See, the reason I’m cool is because I been poor my whole life and now I got lots of money.

You don’t need to convince me that you’re the perfect man. But I think we need to leave because I’m accidentally getting day drunk and should probably go and do some work or something. How did this rank in your history of dates?
I don’t think I’ve ever been on an actual date. I didn’t go to school and that’s where you do a lot of your dating.

I hope this one’s special enough for you to remember.
Yeah, I’m grooving talking. You’re lucky I’m married. Woo. If I take you on my bike, I’m in trouble, my darling.

I don’t know what kind of trouble he was talking about, but the glint in his eye suggested we weren’t just going for a coastal tour. We both left Ace Café in the knowledge the date was a success. I thought Steve was one of the coolest, wisest old dogs I’d ever met and he gave me guest list to his gig the following night. I hadn’t expected to pop another boy’s cherry at 23, but here I was; just this time, the boy was 71 years old.

You can follow Hannah's love life on Twitter: @hannahrosewens

Seasick Steve's next album will be called Sonic Soul Surfer, and will come out in the UK on March 23.