Which Spiritual Guru Said It: The Dalai Lama or Craig David?

This article originally appeared on Noisey UK.

If you don’t listen to Kisstory, then you might not have heard much from Craig David recently. Ryan Hemsworth remixed “Fill Me In” in 2012, Craig dropped a new track “Cold” last summer, and he’s been touring his DJ show extensively, but new releases have been fairly thin on the ground.

However, if you’ve visited his Instagram at any point during the last three years, you’ll know that his shit’s been getting godly.

BuzzFeed first wrote about Craig’s Instagram back in 2013, when he was posting buff gym photos and millions of hashtags. But since then, the Hampshire poptimist has turned full philosopher, converting his Insta into a cult mega temple, where fans come to learn the prophecy as he divulges enlightening images, snaps of his torso, divine aphorisms, and sage nuggets, like “Beautiful creations are born out of love,” “The grass is always greener on the inside,” and “Eat clean, train dirty.” These micro sermons usually come with motivational pictures of sunsets, gushing waterfalls, or even this one, of extraterrestrial Craig gazing down on the milky way like an omniscient super being.

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A photo posted by Craig David (@craigdavid) on May 30, 2015 at 10:22am PDT

Over time, he’s gathered 182,000 hardcore believers, which actually trumps the last UK census tally for signed-up Buddhists: 178,000. That means, if you like to draw rash conclusions from totally incomparable statistics like me, Craig David is smashing Buddhism in Britain, despite it having a 2,500 year head start.

So, with all his daily wisdom and fervent followers, we wanted to know: can you tell the difference between Buddhism and Craig David? And which sentiments more naturally resonate with you? To compare, I took some of His Holiness The 14th Dalai Lama’s most famous phrases and The Craig David’s most earth-shattering posts to see if the spiritual teachings of Tibetan monks are any more profound than the maxims on offer from a man who once sang “Hot fudge sauce on the soles of my Timberlands.” Can’t tell the difference? No? Exactly. #ChurchOfCraig

Too easy? Try Which Top Lad Said It: Catfish & The Bottlemen or Finchy from The Office?