I first encountered the force that is now Iggy Azalea while visiting a friend who was studying in Berlin. The friend mentioned that she had seen this new Australian rapper who looked like an IMG model but typically dressed like a girl came from the pleather capital of the world, Miami. This was in 2012, and the video was for “My World,” which at the time had under a million views on YouTube. I was hooked on the mélange of typically trashy American fashion along with Iggy's bombastic foreign beauty, so much so that I immediately bought a $20 ticket to see her perform in NYC followed it up only a month or two later with another show of hers in San Francisco. Noisey also picked up on the rapper’s potential back in the day, as featured here.After the two concerts (both times I, a Caucasian gay male, stood out like Brooke Candy at church), I noticed her fashion and public image begin to change via social media: her leopard print skirts were swapped for sleek, high-end dresses and she started wearing actual Louboutins instead of just rapping about them. Then the video for "Work" arrived, which showed that her transformation was nearly complete.In "Work," Iggy sheds her tacky-glam Miami style, which she presumably acquired after moving there from Australia while 16, and opts for high fashion—and, perhaps not coincidentally, when this video arrived, more than a just handful of Americans started paying attention to her. Her stylistic transformation helped her become the chart-topping artist she is today, with hits like “Black Widow” and “Fancy.”
BURN CLOTHING SYMBOLICALLY
If newfound fame has made that dusty pair of hotel cleaning sneakers unwarranted, go right ahead and just burn em. I know you’ll say, “But what about my carbon footprint? What about those without hotel cleaning shoes?” Doesn’t matter. Azalea reminds that fashion is meant to express yourself, even if that means whipping out a bottle of Australia’s most flammable gasoline and igniting that fashion straight to hell like, “Sorry, bought Louboutins.”
BE FEARLESS (ABOUT SERIAL KILLERS)
I had originally thought it might be a bad idea to walk down a barren road in the desert while sporting Dolce & Gabbana hotpants short enough to make Rihanna’s soul cry. The truth is, no matter what your potential proximity to perverse hitchhikers and ruthless street criminals, a girl’s got to put on. Don’t be overly cognizant of that smiling man spitting tobacco through his remaining teeth. You’re 100% Teen Vogue acceptable.
IT'S OKAY TO SHOWOFF
Not only should you not fear the trailor-trash onlookers as you make your way through your hometown—show off by throwing on a pair of overpriced, designer motorcycle pants by Alexander McQueen to really keep things casual. Make sure to accessorize with a “no fucks given” pout while you stroll through on a wheeled instrument of your choosing (such as Azalea’s lowrider bicycle). The off-the-cuff air will maximize appreciation and jealousy while minimizing chances of getting beaten, mugged, or killed, mate!
LEARN YOUR CURVES
Without delving too far into the “real” or “fake” talk, Azalea knows how to dress her curves. By sucking in the belly a little bit and placing the bikini straps above your hips, you can maintain that real-life Barbie look that put you on the map in the first place. That being said, if you’re still feeling self-conscious and that maroon fur vest you borrowed from Jlo circa 2002 isn’t quite doing the trick, stand in front of something more conspicuous than your outfit, like a giant sixteen-wheeler.
STRETCH YOUR HAIR
If you think sitting and curling your hair around your finger while flirting is cute, YOU NEED TO UP YOUR GAME BITCH. Wiggy Azalea straight up tugs that thing whenever she’s not sure what to do with herself, bringing hair-tossing to new levels of extremity and glamour. But seriously, if dancing is not your forté and you don’t have a particularly interesting personality, figure out a way to keep yourself relevant via the hair. Azalea’s dragged herself from low-class Australia to the top of the Billboard charts by yanking hard enough at that thing, and so can you.
FIND SOMETHING TO COVER YOUR NIPPLES
Getting ready for your town’s grunge bar debutante ball can be rather intimidating. Everyone faces the same challenge; with what will I cover my nips? Noticing the seated man’s pleasure while basking under the shade of Azalea’s palm tree cover-ups, I thought of a few other symbols that might appropriately cover the eyes of the chest: Giant Sequoia trees, cutouts of Nicki Minaj’s accusatory face, “Bring our Girls Back” pins, or a boarding pass/Expedia confirmation print out combination that truly says “Let’s make this quick—I’m about to steal your keys and get the hell out of here.”
YELLOW IS AN INTERESTING COLOR
Isn’t it? There’s a certain demure to it regardless of circumstance, like borderline painful wedgies from short shorts. Also, yellow is the most visible color to humans from a distance. That said, Azalea’s ass-popping, hip-swerving maneuvers can be seen for miles, far enough to beckon her friends like the Bat-Signal to come pick her up and flee for the States.
DRAMATIC PIECES ABOVE ALL ELSE
I once had a friend who said she “lives for the stories,” meaning her actions are ultimately inspired by the desire to have interesting experiences to share. Azalea seems to hold a similar outlook, yelling “Seatbelt schmeat-belt!” and holding up a sheet for dramatic affect. The fabric whips around buoyantly, powered by the strong winds pushing back Azalea as her friends speed her off into Hollywood, the land of desire. While I’m not promoting dangerous antics like that seen above, I will advise that you find space in that Givenchy bag for some sort of overly-dramatic prop, perfect for adding that “But, why are you doing that?” appeal to any situation.You should follow Mathias on Twitter - @lil_nervous.
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If newfound fame has made that dusty pair of hotel cleaning sneakers unwarranted, go right ahead and just burn em. I know you’ll say, “But what about my carbon footprint? What about those without hotel cleaning shoes?” Doesn’t matter. Azalea reminds that fashion is meant to express yourself, even if that means whipping out a bottle of Australia’s most flammable gasoline and igniting that fashion straight to hell like, “Sorry, bought Louboutins.”
I had originally thought it might be a bad idea to walk down a barren road in the desert while sporting Dolce & Gabbana hotpants short enough to make Rihanna’s soul cry. The truth is, no matter what your potential proximity to perverse hitchhikers and ruthless street criminals, a girl’s got to put on. Don’t be overly cognizant of that smiling man spitting tobacco through his remaining teeth. You’re 100% Teen Vogue acceptable.
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Not only should you not fear the trailor-trash onlookers as you make your way through your hometown—show off by throwing on a pair of overpriced, designer motorcycle pants by Alexander McQueen to really keep things casual. Make sure to accessorize with a “no fucks given” pout while you stroll through on a wheeled instrument of your choosing (such as Azalea’s lowrider bicycle). The off-the-cuff air will maximize appreciation and jealousy while minimizing chances of getting beaten, mugged, or killed, mate!
Without delving too far into the “real” or “fake” talk, Azalea knows how to dress her curves. By sucking in the belly a little bit and placing the bikini straps above your hips, you can maintain that real-life Barbie look that put you on the map in the first place. That being said, if you’re still feeling self-conscious and that maroon fur vest you borrowed from Jlo circa 2002 isn’t quite doing the trick, stand in front of something more conspicuous than your outfit, like a giant sixteen-wheeler.
If you think sitting and curling your hair around your finger while flirting is cute, YOU NEED TO UP YOUR GAME BITCH. Wiggy Azalea straight up tugs that thing whenever she’s not sure what to do with herself, bringing hair-tossing to new levels of extremity and glamour. But seriously, if dancing is not your forté and you don’t have a particularly interesting personality, figure out a way to keep yourself relevant via the hair. Azalea’s dragged herself from low-class Australia to the top of the Billboard charts by yanking hard enough at that thing, and so can you.
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Getting ready for your town’s grunge bar debutante ball can be rather intimidating. Everyone faces the same challenge; with what will I cover my nips? Noticing the seated man’s pleasure while basking under the shade of Azalea’s palm tree cover-ups, I thought of a few other symbols that might appropriately cover the eyes of the chest: Giant Sequoia trees, cutouts of Nicki Minaj’s accusatory face, “Bring our Girls Back” pins, or a boarding pass/Expedia confirmation print out combination that truly says “Let’s make this quick—I’m about to steal your keys and get the hell out of here.”
Isn’t it? There’s a certain demure to it regardless of circumstance, like borderline painful wedgies from short shorts. Also, yellow is the most visible color to humans from a distance. That said, Azalea’s ass-popping, hip-swerving maneuvers can be seen for miles, far enough to beckon her friends like the Bat-Signal to come pick her up and flee for the States.
I once had a friend who said she “lives for the stories,” meaning her actions are ultimately inspired by the desire to have interesting experiences to share. Azalea seems to hold a similar outlook, yelling “Seatbelt schmeat-belt!” and holding up a sheet for dramatic affect. The fabric whips around buoyantly, powered by the strong winds pushing back Azalea as her friends speed her off into Hollywood, the land of desire. While I’m not promoting dangerous antics like that seen above, I will advise that you find space in that Givenchy bag for some sort of overly-dramatic prop, perfect for adding that “But, why are you doing that?” appeal to any situation.You should follow Mathias on Twitter - @lil_nervous.