Experiencing Accidental Racism From The Barenaked Ladies

A very big part of Canada's culture is how its immigrant citizens are encouraged to retain as many of the traditions and traits that come from their original culture as they want. This leads to what we call a "mosaic" culture, and while it means that the people within that culture are able to hold onto the items that may otherwise leave them feeling alone in a new place, it also leads to some possible confusion. In our new column "Music As A Second Language" we explore what happens when new immigrants to Canada are met by the culture of their adopted home.

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I started watching MuchMusic during high school when I was 16 and had just moved to Canada. One day in 1998, a band called Barenaked Ladies showed up on Much Countdown. They looked like members of a small town improv group with big dreams of being on Whose Line is it Anyway one day. Clever band name, I thought.

After that, something else caught my eye and I thought, “Wow! That lead singer is so beautiful. She's all that!” Little did I know, she was a he, and he was the lead singer of Hanson. He was beautiful with hair like a golden retriever that would win a dog show. I also thought their hit single, “MMMBop” was a song about bibimbap. It made me a little hungry. After that video, a Cherry Poppin' Daddies video came on. My friend told me what cherry poppin' meant one time, but that's another story. Creepy band name, I thought. That was the first time I watched MuchMusic.

But back to Barenaked Ladies. I've been asked to review and listen closely to the Barenaked Ladies 1998 album Stunt. I have grown up and become much more mature and patient since 1998. I tried to listen to all of the songs on the album through YouTube, but I kept catching myself looking at random woodworking videos—like this one with Billy Corgan making dovetail joints. I guess I'm not as patient as I thought. I can't even caramelize onions. I'm impatient and either burn them or they dry up. I couldn't pay attention all the way through the album, but I didn't give up, I tried to listen again.

The opening track and "breakthrough" single, “One Week” is catchy and not so bad. It also has a “rap” part which contains a lot of references to Asian culture:

“Although I like the Chalet Swiss, I like the sushi, Cause it's never touched a frying pan”
He got it right. Sushi is raw. I saw it in Jiro, Dreams of Sushi.

“Hot like wasabi when I bust rhymes. Big like Leann Rimes”
Right again, wasabi is short term hot—not like chili hot—just like his rhymes. I didn't know who Leanne Rimes was so I Googled her. She is a country/pop singer.

“Chickity China the Chinese chicken You have a drumstick and your brain stops tickin'"
Good try, but he might as well be saying, “ching chong chun” mocking asian accents. Another thing that bugs me is, and I'm sure other asian people feel the same way about this, I don't like when people use chopsticks as drum sticks at restaurant. It's annoying. But oh well, I'll let it slide.

“Like Kurosawa I make mad films. Okay I don't make films. But if I did they'd have a samurai”
He is just name dropping Kurosawa, like a first year film studies student. But ok, his movies are good.

At this point, I felt really bad. I'm not a hater and I'd rather focus my energy into something positive, so I listened to the next 12 songs looking for something positive. I’ve come to the conclusion that they must have spent a lot of money on the recording. The music sounds polished, and yeah…good on them. It sounds like this was made in a really nice studio. Yeah.

Well, I'm a bad journalist. I didn't really listen. I just pretended to listen and I'll confess now. I'm sorry. I smoked a crack. You didn't ask me the right questions. All I can do it is apologize and move on. I just couldn't. Every time, I listen to their songs, I was bored to death. It’s so boring that I’d rather log into my old myspace account to be alone, and just sit there and meditate. It’s so boring that I’d rather watch a TV that is not on. It’s so boring that I’d rather read the terms and conditions of Adobe software and watch them install on my computer. Now I feel horrible about it. Again, I apologize to all the Barenaked Ladies fans out there and to all the Barenaked Ladies. I wish I could tell you guys white lies but I'm not white. I'm just a Japanese guy, always apologizing. I’m so sorry.

Finally, I looked up their Wikipedia page and remembered that the lead singer left the band after he got busted with coke. They must have gone through a lot. Once they were just those small town, improv group looking kids. Now at least he might have had the chance to say "whose line is it anyway" to his dealer.

@mitztakahashi