Chart Burn
Phillip Phillips' "Gone, Gone, Gone" Proves Proves That That We're We're Screwed Screwed Screwed
The 'American Idol' star is doing his best to destroy the English language one repeated word at a time.
Train's 'Bruises' Proves That Breaking Up Is Hard and That the Lead Singer of Train Is a Demon
Sorry, Pat Monahan. We used science.
The Adult Contemporary Constitution
Enough with the nonsense. It's time contemporary adults take hold of what defines adult contemporary music once and for all.
Elton John's "Home Again" Is the Theme to the Worst Disney Movie Never Made
There's a reason fairy tales aren't told about contemporary adults.
Jewel's "Two Hearts Breaking" Is the Best Freakout Song Ever
Sometimes, as contemporary adults, all we can do is scream.
Sara Bareilles' "Brave" Proves That Being an Adult Contemporary Hero Is Super Lame
Sorry. Our imagined bravery just isn't that important.
Michael Bublé's "It's A Beautiful Day" Made Me Realize I'm An Idiot
Sorry, contemporary adults. You're actually getting dumber and dumber every day.
Maroon 5's "Love Somebody" Will Make You Uncomfortable, Like An Adult's Christmas List
Sorry, contemporary adults. You are not allowed to express what you want.
The Lumineers' "Ho Hey" Will Ruin Your Summer (No Matter Where It Is on the Adult Contemporary Chart)
Last year's hit finally is dethroned, but don't worry, it's still stuck in your head.
Rod Stewart's "She Makes Me Happy" Is The Worst Love Letter Ever Written
Guess how many people it took to write this song.
Millions of People Are Forced to Listen to "(My) Rainy Day Girl" Over and Over Again
Welcome to Chart Burn: Adventures in Adult Contemporary Music.