There's No End of Offensiveness in "Literally I Can't"

Yesterday the internet got ripped apart when Play-N-Skillz released the video for “Literally I Can’t” featuring Redfoo, Lil Jon, and somebody calling themselves Enertia McFly. Or as many are affectionately calling it, the most offensive song of the year. You don’t really need to listen to it to know it’s a piece of shit. Before you even get to the misogynist stuff the fact that everyone featured on it sounds like a nickname someone would give their penis is a red flag.

Obviously sexism in music is a pretty hot and important topic, but really when the main dude on the song spells his name with a z you know it’s probably not going to be a meditation on gender relationships and the state of social roles. And although we should be mad that someone on the X Factor sang “You got a big ol’ butt, I can tell by the way you walkin’. But you an annoying slut, because you’re talking”, lets not lose site on what’s important. All the other super offensive stuff going on here.

Redfoo

I think I was in the toilet when this guy became famous because I still do not understand how a dude dressed up like a time traveling rapist going to a school formal is a thing. Even without the sexist stuff, I hope there would still be 30 Google search pages of outrage over him being featured in any mainstream release. Immediate fail.

Breakdancing

Have you ever been to a party that has breakdancing? It’s so depressing. Some dude who is shorter than you starts telling everyone he’s going to throw down and you’re just praying he means he’s about to vomit on you. There is nothing more awkward than someone dancing alone at a party, these people wouldn’t be cheering. They’d be trying to get him to stand up and calling his dad.

That Two Girls Have Slurpee Coloured Hair

Now I’m gonna forgive that casual halter neck in the left hand side, but I can’t go past the two played out hair colours. Video clips usually have pretty dope stylists on board but someone on this crew isn’t following the right Instagram accounts. Seapunk and Tumblr is out, I immediately don’t trust that you know anything about young people. There would have to be a major health goth appearance for me to get back on board with the concept that this is a cool party.

All The Boring Frat Stuff

Was this clip actually filmed in 2004? Remember how the 2000s were obsessed with this hyper coloured glossy version of university—Van Wilder, Legally Blond, 100 Girls, Slackers— why was everyone dressed like they were going to a 50s party? Uni is so sick, but it’s not like this at all. Someone should make a music video about eating all your parent’s food and getting everything half price because you have a concession card. Crazy times.

This Dick

There is clearly a penis being fellated in this shot, I am outraged.

Flavoured Wines

I don’t even care if that was a paid placement, or just another boring Basic Bitch joke, anything cake flavoured that will get you drunk is offensive. If you can’t drink alcohol without it being masked as a dessert you are a baby. Like actually a child and you should get off Noisey because there is a lot of swearing on this site.

This Bloody Tampon

Actually that’s kind of cool.

Wearing a Singlet and a Beanie

Are you hot or are you cold? Seriously dude, do you know how much money you would save if you just bought slightly warmer shirts and skipped the beanie all together? I have no sense of the temperature now and it’s very frustrating.

Supersoakers

Okay, I know this will be controversial, but supersoakers are such a pain in the ass. Sure they’re fun at first, but no one in the history of time has understood the correct moment to put it away when the joke is over. No matter how fun they are at the start they always become this super awkward thing. The only time they’re always allowed is when they’re full of tomato sauce and spraying and dog and or baby in a hot dog costume.

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