Posse cut remixes for nearly every major label rap and R&B hit are such a ritual these days that sometimes you can predict the guests before they’re even announced. Maybe Fab and Jada will drop some punchlines, maybe a singer like Chris Brown or Ty Dolla $ign will rap a few bars, and French Montana will almost always show up. But lately there’ve been some surprises to keep things fresh. Nas came down the mountain to remix a club banger, Remy Ma made her first major post-jail guest spot, Riff Raff got a shot at pop crossover exposure, and GS9's Rowdy Rebel upstaged some far bigger names.
Oh hey, how about that horrifying single artwork for this remix? There’s something fun about hearing someone with a much lower, rougher voice than Jeremih like Ty Dolla $ign rip into the high notes of the pre-chorus, but otherwise his appearance is blandly perfunctory. As someone who has no use for French Montana in general and is especially frustrated by his ubiquity on all-star remixes, I’m actually impressed by him for once here, having fun with lines like “pull up in the big ass yacht” and “got her leg shakin’, James Brown wit it.”Best Verse: French MontanaOverall Grade: C+
Wayne and Luda are both legends of the remix game that I learned not too expect great things from every time anymore at least 5 years ago. So I’m happy to report that they’re both in good form here, although Weezy sounds like he’s on his last wheeze before losing his voice. Nobody sticks to the repetitive structure of Gotti’s verse from the original, but the flows they come up with instead work pretty well.Best Verse: Lil WayneOverall Grade: B
I understand why this was an event when it dropped, but it being the only version of the song I hear on the radio day in and day out has soured me on it a bit. The original “***Flawless” was an actual perfect song, but I’m sorry, this version actually does possess flaws: the “dum dah dee dah” thing that is now one of the track’s main melodic motifs, the way Bey rhymes “runway” with “Bun B.” The ungainly structure of the remix also takes a lot of wind out of what should be a far more triumphant “I woke up like this” refrain. It’s cool, don’t get me wrong. I may just be annoyed because the other day my 5-year-old son asked me why the lady on the radio said “cookie face,” which is the most awkward thing that has happened with me playing censored rap radio with him in the car since I caught him softly singing “I’m a stoner, I’m a stoner, I’m a stoner.”Best Verse: Nicki MinajOverall Grade: B-
The biggest New York record in a while gets the perfunctory Fab/Jada/Busta treatment with some other slightly more timely ringers in the mix who do nothing to help. Shmurda himself is only represented at the end with a replay of some of his bars from the original, but it’s shockingly his buddy Rowdy Rebel who shows up with a new verse and outraps all the legitimately famous people on the track.Best Verse: Rowdy RebelOverall Grade: C
The original “Made Me” is the kind of singsong rap hook that doesn’t quite get singsong enough for me to really enjoy. So I love that Jeremih opens the track slurring out a casual verse that still brings out the melody more with his gloriously bright voice. Boosie sounds great on the song, too, although in some ways it’s kind of a harsh reminder that “Made Me” is the exact kind of song Boosie should be making these days and hasn’t bothered.Best Verse: Lil BoosieOverall Grade: B+“Main Chick (Remix)” by Kid Ink featuring French Montana, Yo Gotti, Tyga, Lil Bibby and Chris Brown
There’s something funny about Kid Ink releasing a follow-up to “Show Me” that also features Chris Brown, just completely unapologetic about how completely reliant he is on borrowed starpower to get on the radio. The remix, then, is surprisingly light on starpower – you gotta wonder if anyone’s ever scrapped an all-star remix when they realized the biggest name they got was Tyga.Best Verse: Yo GottiOverall Grade: D
The clubby new beat for Maroon 5’s Police-esque pop hit works surprisingly well, and Big Sean’s verse is right up front, so it’s kind of like you just get a 40-second Big Sean song and then get to decide if you want to stick around for the rest. But I don’t know why you’d bother, unless you really really loved Sean’s verse on Bieber’s “As Long As You Love Me.”Best Verse: n/aOverall Grade: C
This is one of those "official remixes" that’s reverse engineered from verses stars did over the beat and put out themselves and then were mixed together. But I’m happy that the Rae Sremmurd kids went ahead and threw a new verse on the top of the track, instead of just trading on Nicki’s name recognition. Fun fact #1: Pusha T is younger than Rae Sremmurd, if you add both members’ ages together. Fun fact #2: If Pharrell had named Clipse with the same method that Mike WiLL Made It used to name Rae Sremmurd, they would’ve been called Rats Kart.Best Verse: Nicki MInajOverall Grade: B-
In the chorus for “She Twerkin’,” Ca$h Out says “she twerkin’” 8 times, and says “she told me smack her on the booty” once. But apparently it’s the latter that rappers consider the important part of the song—Boosie, Ty, and Kid Ink all work the line into their verses, and Boosie riffs on booty smacking for several bars. Also, Ca$h Out raps in the same weird Aaron Neville voice that he uses on the follow-up single “Let’s Get It.”Best Verse: Lil BoosieOverall Grade: C+
There’s something kind of perfect about Katy and Riff Raff creating the perfect storm of trolling white people with cornrows, even if it’s mainly some kind of weird foreplay in her relationship with Diplo. “This Is How We Do” is Perry’s second consecutive single to miss the top 10, which puts her Paula Abdul career trajectory into a frightening post-“Vibeology” phase. But the song could never get worse than it already was, so it stands to reason that Riff Raff improved it, somehow, I guess.Best Verse: n/aOverall Grade: C
There’s something sweet about Khaled welcoming his old Terror Squad compatriot back to the rap world by making her the only rapper on the official remix to his Jay-Z-featuring hit. And really, it’s an improvement, possibly because Remy knows a little more about being discarded and forgotten by the rap game than anybody on the original track.Best Verse: n/aOverall Grade: B+”We Dem Boyz (Remix)” by Wiz Khalifa featuring Nas, Rick Ross and ScHoolboy Q
Over the summer, Wiz Khalifa dropped the disconcertingly downtempo remix to his rowdy club anthem. But a couple months later, knowing what we know now about the state of Wiz’s marriage to Amber Rose, there’s almost something prescient about him getting moody and sad with one of rap’s most famous divorcees, Nas. And really, I could take or leave the original, so this total revision of the song is just fine by me.Best Verse: NasOverall Grade: BFollow Al Shipley on Twitter, or else Big Sean will come to your house and rap.
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“Don’t Tell Em (Remix)” - Jeremih featuring French Montana and Ty Dolla $ign
Oh hey, how about that horrifying single artwork for this remix? There’s something fun about hearing someone with a much lower, rougher voice than Jeremih like Ty Dolla $ign rip into the high notes of the pre-chorus, but otherwise his appearance is blandly perfunctory. As someone who has no use for French Montana in general and is especially frustrated by his ubiquity on all-star remixes, I’m actually impressed by him for once here, having fun with lines like “pull up in the big ass yacht” and “got her leg shakin’, James Brown wit it.”Best Verse: French MontanaOverall Grade: C+
“Errrbody (Remix)” - Yo Gotti featuring Lil Wayne and Ludacris
Wayne and Luda are both legends of the remix game that I learned not too expect great things from every time anymore at least 5 years ago. So I’m happy to report that they’re both in good form here, although Weezy sounds like he’s on his last wheeze before losing his voice. Nobody sticks to the repetitive structure of Gotti’s verse from the original, but the flows they come up with instead work pretty well.Best Verse: Lil WayneOverall Grade: B
“***Flawless” - Beyonce featuring Nicki Minaj
I understand why this was an event when it dropped, but it being the only version of the song I hear on the radio day in and day out has soured me on it a bit. The original “***Flawless” was an actual perfect song, but I’m sorry, this version actually does possess flaws: the “dum dah dee dah” thing that is now one of the track’s main melodic motifs, the way Bey rhymes “runway” with “Bun B.” The ungainly structure of the remix also takes a lot of wind out of what should be a far more triumphant “I woke up like this” refrain. It’s cool, don’t get me wrong. I may just be annoyed because the other day my 5-year-old son asked me why the lady on the radio said “cookie face,” which is the most awkward thing that has happened with me playing censored rap radio with him in the car since I caught him softly singing “I’m a stoner, I’m a stoner, I’m a stoner.”
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“Hot Nigga (Remix)” by Bobby Shumurda featuring Fabolous, Jadakiss, Chris Brown, Busta Rhymes, Yo Gotti, and Rowdy Rebel
The biggest New York record in a while gets the perfunctory Fab/Jada/Busta treatment with some other slightly more timely ringers in the mix who do nothing to help. Shmurda himself is only represented at the end with a replay of some of his bars from the original, but it’s shockingly his buddy Rowdy Rebel who shows up with a new verse and outraps all the legitimately famous people on the track.Best Verse: Rowdy RebelOverall Grade: C
“Made Me (Remix)” by Snootie Wild featuring Lil Boosie and Jeremih
The original “Made Me” is the kind of singsong rap hook that doesn’t quite get singsong enough for me to really enjoy. So I love that Jeremih opens the track slurring out a casual verse that still brings out the melody more with his gloriously bright voice. Boosie sounds great on the song, too, although in some ways it’s kind of a harsh reminder that “Made Me” is the exact kind of song Boosie should be making these days and hasn’t bothered.Best Verse: Lil BoosieOverall Grade: B+“Main Chick (Remix)” by Kid Ink featuring French Montana, Yo Gotti, Tyga, Lil Bibby and Chris Brown
There’s something funny about Kid Ink releasing a follow-up to “Show Me” that also features Chris Brown, just completely unapologetic about how completely reliant he is on borrowed starpower to get on the radio. The remix, then, is surprisingly light on starpower – you gotta wonder if anyone’s ever scrapped an all-star remix when they realized the biggest name they got was Tyga.
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“Maps (Remix)” by Maroon 5 featuring Big Sean
The clubby new beat for Maroon 5’s Police-esque pop hit works surprisingly well, and Big Sean’s verse is right up front, so it’s kind of like you just get a 40-second Big Sean song and then get to decide if you want to stick around for the rest. But I don’t know why you’d bother, unless you really really loved Sean’s verse on Bieber’s “As Long As You Love Me.”Best Verse: n/aOverall Grade: C
“No Flex Zone! (Remix)” by Rae Sremmurd featuring Nicki Minaj and Pusha T
This is one of those "official remixes" that’s reverse engineered from verses stars did over the beat and put out themselves and then were mixed together. But I’m happy that the Rae Sremmurd kids went ahead and threw a new verse on the top of the track, instead of just trading on Nicki’s name recognition. Fun fact #1: Pusha T is younger than Rae Sremmurd, if you add both members’ ages together. Fun fact #2: If Pharrell had named Clipse with the same method that Mike WiLL Made It used to name Rae Sremmurd, they would’ve been called Rats Kart.Best Verse: Nicki MInajOverall Grade: B-
“She Twerkin’ (Remix)” by Ca$h Out featuring Juicy J, Lil Boosie, Ty Dolla $ign and Kid Ink
In the chorus for “She Twerkin’,” Ca$h Out says “she twerkin’” 8 times, and says “she told me smack her on the booty” once. But apparently it’s the latter that rappers consider the important part of the song—Boosie, Ty, and Kid Ink all work the line into their verses, and Boosie riffs on booty smacking for several bars. Also, Ca$h Out raps in the same weird Aaron Neville voice that he uses on the follow-up single “Let’s Get It.”
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“This Is How We Do (Remix)” by Katy Perry featuring Riff Raff
There’s something kind of perfect about Katy and Riff Raff creating the perfect storm of trolling white people with cornrows, even if it’s mainly some kind of weird foreplay in her relationship with Diplo. “This Is How We Do” is Perry’s second consecutive single to miss the top 10, which puts her Paula Abdul career trajectory into a frightening post-“Vibeology” phase. But the song could never get worse than it already was, so it stands to reason that Riff Raff improved it, somehow, I guess.Best Verse: n/aOverall Grade: C
“They Don’t Love You No More (Remix)” by DJ Khaled featuring Remy Ma and French Montana
There’s something sweet about Khaled welcoming his old Terror Squad compatriot back to the rap world by making her the only rapper on the official remix to his Jay-Z-featuring hit. And really, it’s an improvement, possibly because Remy knows a little more about being discarded and forgotten by the rap game than anybody on the original track.Best Verse: n/aOverall Grade: B+”We Dem Boyz (Remix)” by Wiz Khalifa featuring Nas, Rick Ross and ScHoolboy Q
Over the summer, Wiz Khalifa dropped the disconcertingly downtempo remix to his rowdy club anthem. But a couple months later, knowing what we know now about the state of Wiz’s marriage to Amber Rose, there’s almost something prescient about him getting moody and sad with one of rap’s most famous divorcees, Nas. And really, I could take or leave the original, so this total revision of the song is just fine by me.Best Verse: NasOverall Grade: BFollow Al Shipley on Twitter, or else Big Sean will come to your house and rap.