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Music

Rihanna Wants You to Stop Punishing Her and Others for Being Victims of Domestic Abuse

"To talk about it and say it once, much less 200 times, is like… I have to be punished for it? It didn’t sit well with me."

Cover of Vanity Fair / Photo via Vanity Fair

Rihanna is on the cover of this month's Vanity Fair. Maybe you've seen the photos, by Annie Leibovitz, circulating on Instagram already. Probably. They're of Rihanna in Cuba, and they're incredible. But the cover story is also fascinating because it's the most thorough interview Rihanna's given in years, and it's an in-depth look at multiple facets of her life, with perspectives from Jay Z and Eminem for good measure. Rihanna talks about why she's too paranoid to date (paparazzi read into everything; she doesn't have the time), why her bad girl image is overblown (she prefers to watch TV in her free time; she takes inspiration from Eminem, who doesn't go to the club), and her role as a fashion icon (she's turned all the extra bedrooms in her LA house into closets). Which, sure, standard celebrity profile stuff, albeit more interesting because it's Rihanna.

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The most interesting part, though, is the article's discussion of the way a narrative of domestic violence—she was famously assaulted by then-boyfriend Chris Brown after the 2009 Grammys—has become inseparable from her. Both Jay Z and Rihanna weigh in, particularly about the NFL's decision to pull her music from a broadcast in light of its own domestic abuse scandal surrounding Ray Rice. Writes Vanity Fair's Lisa Robinson:

And in 2014, nearly six years after that attack, Rihanna was dragged into the Ray Rice domestic-abuse scandal when the N.F.L. and CBS chose not to play “Run This Town”—her hit with Jay Z and Kanye West—during an opening-week broadcast of the N.F.L. season. She reacted with anger on Twitter, and, says Jay Z, “Her response was appropriate. The N.F.L. felt it was a distraction, and she was like, ‘You’re punishing me for what happened with Ray Rice?’ ” I ask Rihanna if she thinks she’s always going to be a poster child for victims of domestic abuse. “Well, I just never understood that,” she says, “like how the victim gets punished over and over. It’s in the past, and I don’t want to say ‘Get over it,’ because it’s a very serious thing that is still relevant; it’s still real. A lot of women, a lot of young girls, are still going through it. A lot of young boys too. It’s not a subject to sweep under the rug, so I can’t just dismiss it like it wasn’t anything, or I don’t take it seriously. But, for me, and anyone who’s been a victim of domestic abuse, nobody wants to even remember it. Nobody even wants to admit it. So to talk about it and say it once, much less 200 times, is like … I have to be punished for it? It didn’t sit well with me.”

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Continued below…

Basically: Stop dragging Rihanna into every discussion of domestic abuse because it's unfair to her, and it's unfair to other victims. As she points out, we have a culture that is quick to criticize victims, hold their abuse in front of them, and demand a certain response that fits our own preconceived notions of what is appropriate. Maybe you remember the criticism around Rihanna when she briefly started dating Chris Brown again? People were mad! Mostly at her! She goes on to explain that situation, too, and elaborate on why she was interested in rekindling the relationship:

"I was very protective of him. I felt that people didn’t understand him. Even after … But you know, you realize after a while that in that situation you’re the enemy. You want the best for them, but if you remind them of their failures, or if you remind them of bad moments in their life, or even if you say I’m willing to put up with something, they think less of you—because they know you don’t deserve what they’re going to give. And if you put up with it, maybe you are agreeing that you [deserve] this, and that’s when I finally had to say, ‘Uh-oh, I was stupid thinking I was built for this.’ Sometimes you just have to walk away."

She concluded, “I don’t hate him. I will care about him until the day I die. We’re not friends, but it’s not like we’re enemies. We don’t have much of a relationship now.”

Besides the Chris Brown stuff, Rihanna also offered up an interesting justification of Rachel Dolezal, the white NAACP executive pretending to be black, saying, "I think she was a bit of a hero, because she kind of flipped on society a little bit. Is it such a horrible thing that she pretended to be black? Black is a great thing, and I think she legit changed people’s perspective a bit and woke people up."

There's also a very detailed telling of how she was signed and the slimmest of hints about her new album (still in the works because she wants it to be perfect, according to Jay Z). It's a fascinating read, and, as mentioned, the photos are out of this world. Check it out here.

Follow Kyle Kramer on Twitter.