Features

Iron Chic Meets Iron Sheik

Interviews

By Dan Ozzi

0

The Iron Sheik is a former pro-wrestler-turned-Twitter celebrity. Just as merciless with 140 characters as he is with the camel clutch, his no holds barred approach to social media has earned him hundreds of thousands of loyal followers as well as plenty of piss-scared enemies, or “jabronis,” as he calls them. Among his favorite targets are Chris Brown, Alex Rodriguez, and that no good raisin ball dogshit jabroni, Hulk Hogan.

Iron Chic is a punk band from Long Island, NY. They have a much-anticipated album out next week from Bridge Nine Records called The Constant One. Over the last five years, they have mastered the fine art of getting apathetic, bearded punks to fingerpoint and sing along to choruses, with lots of woah-ohs thrown in. As you may have noticed, their band name is a clever spin on the Sheik’s name.

We thought it would be fun to pair the two up and see how the Long Islanders fare against the angry Iranian. Would Sheikie baby think they the legend status or dumb son of a bitch motherfuckers? See for yourself in the conversation between the Iron Sheik and Iron Chic singer, Jason Lubrano.

Regardless of who comes out on top, you should definitely pre-order The Constant One, which you can stream in its entirety below, and check out the Sheik’s store for all your Christmas shopping needs for that special jabroni in your life. And you’d better be on the lookout for his upcoming documentary next year or he make your ass humble old country style.



All grammatical/spelling errors are Iron [sic]...

Iron Sheik: Iron Chic try to be the Iron Sheik. You never become the legend like the legend. Only one Iron Sheik who the champion.

Now time for new generation Iron Chic to become like the Frank Sinatra or the Rob Thomas of the punk music. If you sound like the piece of shit motherfucker Michael Bolton than I never respect you and I make you humble old country way.

I find out you are all the 30 year off age or more. Are you ready for the wrestle mania of the music? Or do you have heart attack and die because you are like the Michael Bolton….You older then dead dog shit and you be careful you don’t die on stage because you are old as fuck. How you become ready for Iron Chic to be like Iron Sheik? What training you do to make the world news like the legend?
Iron Chic: Yeah, we’re ready for the Wrestlemania of the music but I also think that I would be pretty happy to die on stage if thats what it came to. I wouldn’t say that we train so much as we lay down or sit down as often as possible sometimes while either smoking cigarettes and/or drugs or both.

You are from the Long Island not the New York? If you play the music for the money go fuck yourself. You play the music for the heart that way I love you forever. You show me you respect the people and you make them happy the real way not the way the Chris Brown piece of shit raisin balls way. He beat his girlfriend and that way I never respect him and I hope he choke on dog shit forever.
We do play from the heart and my heart really likes the idea of Chris Brown eating dogshit forever.

Bubba you have the 3500 twitter follower? You are green like the grass you need to do the training workout like the legend. You never sold out the Madison square garden or Pontiac Michigan. You practice to one day you become the legend. I be happy to I train you how to suplex the people on the twitter and get them to respect you like they respect the legend. How you become like the legend I show you but you have to be one who do all the work. I make it to the hall of fame. I pay for my due. This way you need to be humbled and work hard otherwise I don’t waste my time on the jabroni people. I only work with the real Punk like the CM Punk or the Chance the Rapper.
I have to say that I would be pretty interested in participating in a Twitter training montage with the Iron Sheik.

Your fan have the beards only? They don’t respect the mustache like the legend? This way they can go fuck themselves forever. They need to respect the mustache. They need to know Iron Sheik mustache best in the world. Your fans you never disrespect but if they look like jabroni than you humble them till they respect you.
I think our fans represent the full gamut of facial hair styles including none at all. I really can’t speak for them as to whether or not they respect the mustache but I’m gonna go ahead and say that they probably don’t. Personally, I wear a beard because I hate the sight of my own face, I’m pretty sure I could never pull off a legendary mustache like yours.  

You don’t forget who the real Iron Sheik is. Who the real world champion, hall of fame Jesus of the twitter is. Only one Iron Sheik. You are Iron Chic. I love you use my name and show me the respect. But if you don’t have best music in the world you are the Iron Shithead dumb son of a bitch. You are dumb mother fucker that deserve for me to suplex you put you in camel clutch fuck you ass and make you humble. Have a good day.
We are truly humbled.

And then the Sheik took to insulting all of the band members individually…

The Lubrano he like the Tony Soprano but he fuck the Cher and that way I don’t respect him because he respect the jabroni. I respect him but still he can go fuck himself.

And for the people in the band they are big time Virgil’s they need to become more like the legend. Dumps more like Doink the clown if he fuck with me I break his neck.

Wild Dad the janitor, he can clean my ass when he listen to the Michael Bolton.

The Phil Douglas I respect because he the family with the Michael Douglas but he not like the Liberace.

The Gorgy have the Orgy with 10 dead dog that way he can go fuck himself forever.

Dan Ozzi is big time dogshit contributing editor of Noisey. Follow his dumb ass on Twitter so he have as many followers as legend Sheik. - @danozzi

 

Comments

Let's Be Friends