I Toured Australia’s East Coast With Wu-Tang Clan and Lived My Childhood White Boy Fantasy

I love rap. In primary school my friends and I would have 8 Mile inspired mock rap battles. We all sucked. Still, it didn’t stop us from appreciating the real stuff—and it doesn’t get much realer than the Wu-Tang Clan. So when I heard that the hip-hop super group were returning to Australia after a five year absence, I lost my fucking mind. Naturally I jumped at the chance at scoring an interview with the legendary rap group, and somehow that interview turned into close to a week touring with them them with a back stage pass.

It started in Melbourne where I watched RZA and Raekwon in awe from the crowd. Later that evening I found myself creeping out Raekwon with man love and a shared glass of red with RZA.

The next morning I headed with the guys to Melbourne airport. There was a bit of time so GZA and Masta Killa played iPad chess. Masta Killa asked if I knew how to play. I didn’t. “You should learn. It teaches patience—to think before moving, not just in the game but in life. Plan your moves son. Be smart.” Throughout the week Masta Killa would sprinkle wisdom like this in places I wouldn’t expect.

Image: Ben Townsend
Baggage claim in Sydney. I still can’t believe this shit is happening.

Sydney, Backstage . RZA was never far from a bottle of Moet, and man did he look smooth drinking it. He could steal your wallet and your girl with one hand a pour you a glass of cabernet with the other.

Raekwon and Masta Killa smoking a joint before jumping on stage in Sydney. The both of them were basically high the whole time, both were also crazy friendly. Perhaps there’s a correlation.

Ghostface Killah intimidated the shit out of me and I didn’t really talk to him for the first couple of days. Ghostface seemed happier to observe than talk. He was sharp and always knew what was going on. He could sit with a piece of fried chicken and quietly survey the commotion caused by 40 people in backstage room. I wouldn’t say the guy seemed happy, rather kind of satisfied—the kind of satisfaction that comes with knowing you’ve made an impact on your craft and the world.

Later on the tour we talked a bit more I would later find out that he was actually a friendly giant who’d ask questions like, “Yo, when was this mall built?” I can now also tick Ugg boot shopping with Ghostface Killah off my bucket list.

GZA was the only one who brought his partner along. As a result, while we were all living the rap star life at VIP after parties, The GZA was nowhere to be seen, presumably sipping green tea and watching Antiques Roadshow re-runs with his wife back at the hotel. Also, GZA really didn’t like photos. Here he is catching me in the act of photographing him on stage. The Genius misses nothing. I’m fucked.

Turns out but he was just coming over to get water.

Image: Sam Cooke

Here’s my little corner. I could see half the patrons of an almost sold out arena, the other half blinded by bright lasers and flashing lights. My heart beat like a mad man’s.

After the show, food was delivered straight to the Wu change rooms. Whatever you could possibly feel like eating was there: fruit, salads, cakes, cold meats, fucking steaks, and everything in between, well, except sushi. They had so much sushi but no one ate it. A lot was left over.

Masta Killa and RZA are vegan. They both offered me fried tofu. “Why you gotta hurt animals?”

DJ Mathematics. Softly spoken and polite, incredibly talented vinyl DJ, incredibly shy human being.

Raekwon was powerful. Just standing next to him felt inspiring. A short conversation with him changed my view of the power of words.

Image: Michael Christidis
Post show with Reakwon, Masta Killa, and Nico Ghost.

RZA jumped on the decks at the after party in Sydney.

Image: Seany Foster
Raekwon taught me the right way to pronounce “Moet”.

Groupies were everywhere but none of the Clan seemed all that interested. I guess pretty much anything can get boring after 20 years. This girl was from Finland. I don’t know how she got here.

Image: Ben Townsend
The next day in Brisbane we ate lunch at a burger joint undisturbed. We engaged in conversation that ranged from deep to stupid shit. I forgot that I was with the Wu-Tang Clan, they were just ordinary guys.

“Yo hold on son, lemme see that photo… Yeah yeah das tite das tite.”

That night we ended up in some club in Fortitude Valley because Ghostface said it looked “real nice”. While talking to RZA a girl came up to me asking if it was true that Wu-Tang was in the club. I looked at RZA then looked back at her and said “Nah.” She left. RZA fist bumped me. “Respect son. If she don’t know the face she ain’t deserve it.”

Image: Steven Ondarch

The next day Ghostface wanted a beard trim to look fresh before the Brisbane show. I love free shit so I had a haircut too. Next to Ghostface. And teachers said I’d never be shit.

Then we had some post trim burgers at Hungry Jack’s because Ghostface really likes burgers. It was strangely refreshing to see that although these guys could afford to eat at restaurants my broke ass could never even dream of ordering a glass of water in, they still succumbed to the satanic allure of the artery-clogging dollar menu.

Somehow I ended up on stage for the Brisbane show.

Wu-Tang motherfuckerrrrrrr.

At the end of the Brisbane show RZA called up the promoters from Beyond The Valley and told the crowd how impressed he was that a group of such young guys brought most of the Wu-Tang Clan together again. I jumped down from the stage and snapped this pic.

And that was it. Throughout the tour I was whisked around in private cars, indulged in the most delicious food, got the VIP treatment pretty much everywhere we went from nightclubs to pharmacies, and stayed in decent as fuck hotels, but perhaps most important of all I realised that these dudes whom I had on a pedestal as some sort of rap gods were actually extremely down to earth and friendly guys.

It’s been 20 years since the release of 36 Chambers and throughout the tour I found myself subconsciously examining each of the Wu-Tang Clan members for any signs that they were over it. The hype is nowhere near what it was back then, and understandably so. They were stopped for autographs and the odd photo but never mobbed. At restaurants they just seemed like ordinary middle-aged men. They sat in nightclub VIP areas with a slight air of weariness, as if tired of the whole game. Yet the fire in their performances reigns strong, on stage they were ageless. When the lights shone and the crowd roared, the Wu-Tang Clan well and truly brought the ruckus.

Follow David on Twitter.