CAPS LOCK REVIEWS
The National's 'Trouble Will Find Me' Is Musical Ambien
YO I ACTUALLY FELL ASLEEP LISTENING TO THIS I'M NOT EVEN KIDDING B.
Waka Flocka's 'DuFlocka Rant: Halftime Show' Is Good But It Comes Nowhere Close to Achieving the Sheer Power of the Musical Violence on 'DuFlocka Rant 2'
I REALLY RELY ON WAKA TO UNABASHEDLY SUPPORT ME IN MY BAD LIFE CHOICES.
Styles P's 'Float' Has Kinda Shitty Beats But Styles Is Still the Hardest Rapper Out (Pause)
I'M NOT BLOWN AWAY BY THESE BEATS MY NIGGA THESE ARE THE "TWO CHEESEBURGERS" MEAL AT MCDONALDS WHEN WHAT I REALLY NEED IS THAT DOUBLE QUARTER POUNDER (PAUSE) WITH EXTRA PICKLES (WILD PAUSE).
Iggy and the Stooges' 'Ready to Die' Kind of Expresses Dangerous Sentiment
THIS IS ROCK MUSIC FOR A "SONS OF ANARCHY" VIDEO GAME FOR GAMEBOY COLOR. IGGY'S VOICE SOUNDS CRAZY DISINTERESTED ON 80% OF THESE JOINTS.
Charli XCX's 'True Romance' Is Beautiful and Perfect Pop Music, Or Maybe I'm Just Having a Good Day
ONCE AGAIN THIS JUST GOES TO SHOW THAT MUSIC REVIEWS ARE BULLSHIT B.
Rob Zombie's 'Regeneration Vendor' Makes Mothers Cry Because When Their Children Listen to it They Inadvertently Prove That They Are Devoid of Swag
IF YOU'RE A NORMAL HUMAN THAT HAS SEX SOMEWHAT REGULARLY AND DOESN'T CHEW UP FOOD THEN STICK THEIR TONGUE OUT LIKE "BLLLEEEEGGGHHH" WHILE ROLLING YOUR EYES BACK THEN YOU NEED TO NOT FUCK WITH THIS AT ALL B.
Kid Cudi's 'Indicud' is an Audio Cokedream
A LOT OF THESE JOINTS ARE COOL BUT ALOT OF IT IS (SEEMINGLY) THE CULMINATION OF THIS DUDE BLOWING MAD PERICO AND WRITING SONGS ABOUT HOW HE'S A SUPER ALIEN RAP GOD.
Ian McCulloch's 'Holy Ghost' is Music for a Grandfather in a Starbucks
I KNEW THIS SHIT WAS GONNA BE PRETENTIOUS AS FUCK BECAUSE THE TITLE SOUNDS LIKE A DOG EARED NOVEL A WHITE LADY WOULD BE READING ON THE L TRAIN.
Paramore's Self-Titled Album is Music for Teens to Saunter Through Food Courts To
WHITE PEOPLE LISTEN TO ME. PUT THE FUCKING UKULELE DOWN.
Tyga's 'Hotel California' is Half Good as Long as You Forget You're Listening to Tyga
THE FACT THAT YOU COULD CLONE THIS NIGGA 30 TIMES AND STILL NOT EVEN BEGIN TO APPROACH THE WEIGHT LIMIT OF A STANDARD ELEVATOR IS IRRELEVANT WHEN YOU HEAR THE DRUMS ON "500 DEGREES," YOU FEEL ME?
The Knife's 'Shaking the Habitual' is Actively Irritating
WHAT THE FUCK IS GOIN ON BRUH? THERE'S A RECORD LABEL THAT CONDONES THIS B?
Brad Paisley's "Accidental Racist" is Just Regular Racist, and His Album 'Wheelhouse' is Bad
BEING "PROUD TO BE WHITE" APPEARS VERY RACIST EVEN IF YOU THINK IT'S LIKE BEING PROUD TO BE BLACK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THAT AND BEING LIKE "I'M PROUD TO BE ICELANDIANESE" OR "IRISH" OR "GERMAN" OR WHATEVER OTHER SWAGGERLESS COUNTRY OF ORIGIN.