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-A yoga class where women are instructed to slap their asses as a part of their technique, +10 points for feminism.
-Taylor Lautner's crotch being bitten by a deer, the only self-aware part of the entire film.
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1/10Little Nicky (2000)My second Sandler journey transported me back to the year 2000. In this film, he plays the spawn of Satan (literally) who decides to take up residence in New York City after his father (the devil) falls prey to the evil doings of his two older brothers. The movie is actually not half bad and I paid attention throughout the entire thing—likely because it was packed with pop culture references and New York backdrops from a pre-9/11 world.Favourite moments:
-Seeing Adam Sandler's emo haircut exist in a pre-MySpace era. Was this a subtle hint at what was to arrive in 2004? Is Sandler a master trend-forecaster? We'll never know.Rating
5/1050 First Dates (2004)I took a break to respond to texts and fix a snack before diving into movie number three. The premise of 50 First Dates is simple: Sandler, a marine biologist and serial commitment-phobe, falls for Drew Barrymore in a run-of-the-mill romantic comedy. Only there's one catch: Barrymore suffered a head trauma in an accident, and each day her character awakes with no memory of the day before. The movie is cute but predictable and about halfway through, I started trying to decipher whether Sandler's shell necklaces (ever-present and inspiring) matched with the mood of the scene.Favourite moments:
-NoneRating
4/10Jack and Jill (2011)Before heading into movie four and hour eight, I noticed my butt was getting a little tingly so I did some yoga while watching some of Sandler's old stand-up on YouTube. I should have listened to the numbing sensation creeping up my legs, warning me of the numbing feeling that would soon be creeping into my brain after 15 minutes of Jack and Jill.
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-Drinking my six-packRating:
0/10You Don't Mess with the Zohan (2008)I kicked off my second day of Adam Sandler with a movie that can truly only be described as a less funny version of Borat. I cued up You Don't Mess with the Zohan as I cleaned my apartment, and only semi-understood what was happening. Sandler played (I think) a former Israeli army commander who moves to New York to pursue his dream of being a barber. I did catch the end, though, when he reunites with his dad and gives him a haircut. Perhaps this serves as a greater allegory for accepting children of all stripes. But probably not.Favourite Moments:
-Finding out Judd Apatow helped write this film.
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3/10The Waterboy (1998)I thought The Waterboy was the heart-wrenching story of a kid with a speech impairment triumphing against all odds to win the hearts and minds of his NCAA team. Expecting something similarly cheesy to The Blind Side, I was disappointed and stopped paying attention 20 minutes in when it became obvious that the film was another Sandler special. I could not tell you what happens in The Waterboy other than that it's heavily implied he gets laid in the end.Favourite Moments:
-Realizing I was only one Adam Sandler film away from the end.Rating:
2/10Funny People (2009)I decided to end on a high note and settled into Funny People with a renewed sense of determination. It was written, produced, and directed by Judd Apatow and co-starred Seth Rogen and Jonah Hill when they more closely resembled one another. Sandler plays a famous comedian who is diagnosed with a terminal form of leukemia. In a strange act of valour, he takes Rogen, an amateur comedian, under his wing and learns the importance of his priorities when a plot twist sends his cancer unexpectedly into remission.I actually enjoyed Funny People but there was admittedly one uncomfortable part. During a stand-up show, Rogen's character makes a joke about comedians committing suicide and specifically delivers a line where he claims, "Robin Williams will be up here next slitting his wrists."Favourite Moments:
-Seth Rogen because he's so damn likeable.
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7.5/10Overall Film WrapAverage Rating:
3.75Overall thoughts: With the exception of one film, they were truly all awful.Immediately following the end of Funny People, I banished Adam Sandler's face from my sight and promptly took a four-hour nap. Despite many obstacles (my waning attention span, the urge to cheat), I felt a weird sense of pride and accomplishment for having stuck with such an absurd goal, and I wondered if this made me some sort of Guinness World Record Holder.Conclusion
It's an interesting thing to explore Sandler's career. While some comedians get better with time, finessing their humour and ridding themselves of offensive jabs, Sandler's humour seems to have done the impossible and somehow regressed. Almost all of the films I watched repeatedly featured stabs at people with intellectual disabilities and, of course, his infamous and trademarked Baby Voice.In an era where people are arguably demanding smarter and more socially-aware comedy, Sandler's refusal to evolve with the times highlights the tragic nature of our own culture and the kind of content many of us are still willing to accept and proliferate.As much as he might be despised as a comedian by many people who grew up in the '80s and '90s, he is also strangely something of an American staple. In times of great social and political unrest, Adam Sandler will be there for you. Even if you can't trust the government or the police or your tap water, you can trust that every summer, Adam Sandler will dutifully release another horrible, Adam Sandler-y film.So what exactly did I learn in my 19 intimate hours studying Mr. Sandler? That he's the human example of the selfie stick: trite, awful, and, frankly, our own damn fault.Follow Neha Chandrachud on Twitter