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Today, on the day we honour Vine and all it provided, I would like to remember my favourite subset of the Vine community. For just as Vine gave bored art students a platform to make shitty stop-frame kaleidoscope animations, and Soulja Boy a chance to show off just how much he had in the way of cash and hoverboards, the app was also home to a particular breed of muscular, effeminate boys with voices like honey. Theirs was a world of six-seconds of singing so deeply sincere you'd probably throw up if you watched for too long.This Vine, made by someone called Nick Pallauf, sort of crystallises everything that made this trend one of the most awful but bizarrely hypnotic things to have ever happened on the internet. Look at it. The six pack flash, the wink, the vest, the full High School Musical backing track, not to mention the aggressively cloying lyrics that in the space of six seconds go from zero to marriage proposal. It's like 50 years of boy-band culture, from the Beatles to the Backstreet Boys, distilled into an eternal, retina burning, spine-twistingly cringeworthy loop. So pour one out for the intense, creepy boy-singers of Vine tonight. They are dead now, free to become the angels we always knew they were. Nick Pallauf, Toby Randall, Andrew Bazzi, adieu.
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