This Guy Does the Best Renditions of Grunge Hits You've Ever Heard in Your Whole, Puny Life

Photo via Facebook

Grunge is back, motherfucker! And Angelo Garcia is here to deadlift your flannel-wearing ass back to 1993 with these tight as hell, not at all terrifying renditions of all your favorite alt-rock hits. According to his Facebook page, Angelo Garcia is a "LIVING LEGEND, I'm Unique , I'm Original,I'm a ROCK STAR BITCH!" and categorizes himself in the "ElectroDancePop" genre. But when this beautifully sculpted man delves into the hits of the 90s, he really gets into #BEASTMODE.

Here he is belting the everloving shit out of Pearl Jam's "Alive":

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Post by Angelo Garcia.

SHIT YEAH. Whether you're hanging from the rafters of some seedy Seattle club in '91 or from the pull-up bar in Gold's Gym in Bayonne, NJ, this is what's playing in your head.

Now, gaze into Angelo's steely eyes and get lost in the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles that wildly dance upon his bouncing pectorals as he sings Smashing Pumpkins' "Today."

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Post by Angelo Garcia.

Ask yourself this: Have you ever truly never seen a performer as dedicated as Angelo? If you answered "yes," then you are lying to yourself, you coward. In addition to being dedicated, he is also thoughtful, kindly warning viewers that sometimes he likes “being weird” by hashtagging these videos as #weird #imweird #lovebeingweird and #CRAZY. Thanks for the warning, Angelo. But if what you’re bringing to the game is #CRAZY, then we don’t wanna be #SANE.

Now, here he is singing Garbage's "I'm Only Happy When It Rains." Add another time Shirley Manson should be happy: when it rains, when it's complicated, and when a man with impossibly rippling clavicles is BELTING THE HOLY HELL OUT OF HER SONG:

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Post by Angelo Garcia.

When you've got bowling ball-esque delts like Angelo is rockin', naturally you want to show 'em off with a vest you picked up at the John Varvatos store where CBGB used to be. When you look this good, you won't care what happened to New York's punk scene. More like CBGee who gives a shit about some piss-soaked hole-in-the-wall on Bowery?

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Post by Angelo Garcia.

Hell yes. Smokin' bones, showin' off tatts, letting those pierced nipples reflect the light from Kurt Cobain in heaven. And then to drive home the literal nature of this song, during the "No I don't have a gun" line, Angelo whips out an actual gun, in addition to the two he was already flexing.

And finally, lest you think Angelo is a one-decade wonder, here he is paying homage to the progenitors of 90s alt-rock, The Ramones. The moving tribute to Joey Ramone that the world needs.

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Post by Angelo Garcia.

Angelo Garcia’s new single “Delusions Of Grandeur” currently has 250,000 plays on Youtube, and should have a lot more. Dream it, live it, get swole’ as hell.

Mike Campbell and Dan Ozzi are both on Twitter and would like to stress that they have a sincere appreciation for Mr. Garcia and would like to not be beaten to death.