Katherine Chloe Cahoon is NOT getting back to me about an interview, you guys. To be fair, she’s probably very busy, since she’s finally given the fans what they've been begging for and made the defining music video of our times. What’s that, YouTube pickup professor and author of The Single Girl’s Guide to Meeting European Men Katherine Chloe Cahoon is not a singer or a musician, you say? You are correct! But a lack of talent or interest in a subject should not stop a young artist/professional tipster on how to meet men at Oktoberfest, how to meet men at the Edinburgh festival, and how to meet men when it is cold out (WTF?!) from following their dreams.And what a dream it is:Katherine and her friends arrive in a foreign land on a private jet, and then immediately head to the bookstore where they all read a copy of her book (!), until they notice a hot guy also perusing the self-help section. Katherine’s friends let down her hair and take off her glasses (duh, "no uggos" is the first rule in her book) and all of a sudden she's in a red dress, sashaying by and smacking her book on how to meet men down on the table in front of him (double !) A dance scene follows in a restaurant, as KCC and the sunshine gang do some contemporary jazz dancing in different sparkly dresses, and suddenly loads of European men are gently and passively clamoring to dance with her. The entire time she has a smile on that is more or less completely frozen and totally devoid of any of the emotions we humans associate with smiling. To be fair, once she does start dancing with the Europeans she pulls out some pretty amazing pairs figure skating moves. The whole thing ends with a sensual kiss atop a piano. Perfection.The credits are x-tremely long, and list Cahoon as creator, director, producer, choreographer, editor, “leading lady”, principal dancer, and executive producer of the song, although she is not credited as “principal lip-syncher,” which seems wrong?! As the song was written by a man named Todd Schwartzman and performed by someone called Amy Whitcomb. Really.Do you have a lot of niggling questions after watching the video? Me too, but THANKFULLY there is a 14-minute explanatory behind-the-scenes look on YouTube as well, complete with footage of Katherine dancing in rehearsal, photos of Katherine dancing and cheerleading in 2003, and some footage she just happens to have of herself eating ice cream and working diligently on the writing projects she has been "inundated with" since her book came out? Observe:Right. Of course. Thank God she was able to rustle up a private jet and a flying camera/lighting crew on “no budget whatsoever.” Plus all her friends who are choreographers in celebrated modern dance troupes! Can you believe she had barely even worked out before she started filming this? She WISHES she had a trust fund!This thing is more obnoxious than the music video for a lot of reasons, including but not limited to: “Then my friend Todd Harry, who’s 6 ft 5, thought it would be fun to throw me up on his shoulders;” and the anecdote about buying heels an inch too high to safely dance. Basically, she lists all these problems of time and budget and bizarre personal triumphs (on the day of filming one cast member got hit in the head, another had a high fever, and then there was a sharp pain in Katherine’s back, but the film still got done…such strength.) while somehow forgetting this entire endeavour is basically something she conjured up to amuse herself in between the millions of screenplays she is allegedly working on.What I'm saying is, this is essentially Rebecca Black’s "Friday" aside from the fact that it’s not catchy, probably cost way more to make and Katherine is a grown-ass woman not a 14 year-old-girl who doesn’t know any better. To conclude; I hate this.
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