The Best Elden Ring Merch (for Slaying Demigods and Date Night)

Welcome, Tarnished. Haven’t seen you around here in a long time; took you for dead. Can I interest you in anything? 

If these words incite in you the need to farm runes to buy dank and powerful gear, then you’ve come to the right place, for in this cursed realm we will delve deep into the finest Elden Ring merch. If you haven’t played the game yet, I can only say that it’s one of the great fantasy games—hell, one of the great video games, full stop—and you should get on it immediately, either for Playstation 5, Xbox One, or even PS4. But if you’re one of my Soulsborne brethren, there’s definitely something here for you, whether you’re the type to decorate your entire home and office with your favorite game’s art, or you’re more private, keeping your Elden Ring-love on your keychain or around your neck.

In any case, Tarnished, ride forth and never know defeat. Here’s the best Elden Ring gear to score for yourself, a fellow Ring head, or someone new to the game.

Let’s start small. Are you a massive Elden Ring fan, but don’t need everyone to know? By copping a keychain inspired by a talisman from the game, you can enjoy a discreet slice of the Lands Between without making everyone around you jealous. Plus, if somebody out in the wild does recognize your gear, that just means they’re a Certified Real One™ and you should probably befriend or marry them immediately.

Put this Banished Knight’s Greatsword replica on your desk or nightstand to remind you to enter every day with courage and valor… because you never know when you’ll see that dreaded You Died graphic and go to the big Site of Grace in the sky.

On that note, we must honor the most cursed phrase in the English language, and one that Elden Ring fans are painfully familiar with. Wear it proudly on your chest; or, if you’re summoning the homies to ride against Starscourge Radahn (or to the movies), get a new flask for your potion (read: whiskey).

Hang this tapestry above your bed or couch and signal to any Tinder dates you bring home that you’re a true freak. When you finally turn the lights out and embrace each other tightly (in order to secure Baldachin’s Blessing, obviously), what proceeds will echo in eternity.

It’s hard to explain this joke from the game, but suffice it to say that it’s a joy whenever you encounter it. Bring a bit of that humor to your daily life with a player message for all to see (not just those with an online subscription). Applause sold separately.

Keep Elden Ring close to your heart—or your loved one’s, perhaps as a nice *cough* Valentine’s Day *cough* gift—with this black knife dagger necklace. Always good to have a backup weapon if your main isn’t delivering.

Probably the dopest Elden Ring merch out there (IMO), this shirt brings together all the best things in life: Elden Ring, design that evokes thrash metal band Power Trip (RIP), and retro dungeon vibes. Wearing this shirt, you’d be equally at home in a bowling alley, at a Gamestop, chilling in a friend’s basement, or attending a metal show (i.e. everywhere that cool people are).

This hat rules. No further comment.

Are you hoarding Rowa Fruit? Ever wonder what it smells like? Well, draw a bath, turn the lights down low, turn on some Enya, and find out.

A Moonlight Greatsword pin that glows in the dark? Awesome.

Some might mistake this hat’s logo for a cool black metal band, but you’ll know that it’s a reference honoring your commitment to the journey (and to not fucking).

Congratulations, Tarnished, if you’ve reached your max equipment load by stocking up on these unique items. Just don’t try a roll while wearing that black knife dagger necklace.

The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story. Want more reviews, recommendations, and red-hot deals? Sign up for our newsletter.