Jesus eff, what a flaccid attempt at entertainment this year's auditions have been, AMIRITE? But thankfully this was the last helping, so from herein it's over to boot camp where we can only pray that Louis Walsh has incorporated a Hunger Games-esque element of genuine physical danger to spice up the contestant cull.Anyway, let's power through this week's shit heap which was almost saved by the loose theme of breaking up groups and shitting on friendships.Daisy ChainsIn America, teenage friendships are stratified by coolness: the nerds sit with other nerds, the anorexic blondes with over-straightened hair and Von Dutch velvet hot pants have the comfort of one another. But in Britain a combination of VK-fueled street violence and deep-seated psychological insecurity requires hot popular girls to hang out with needy, obedient chubbier friends who can soothe their dwindling self-esteem and flatten anyone who calls them a sket.Enter Daisy Chains, three "best friends" from Birmingham that love each other so much they decided to audition together. (IDK, perhaps one of the henchwoman was hoping to Jennifer Hudson Dreamgirls the pretty one into obscurity). Alas, it turns out Hannah who won the lottery of life twice over and is blessed with strongest voice as well as cheekbones. The judges only want her. Suddenly friendship is out the window, and her two bezzies turn on her within a matter of seconds - making her choose between a shot at middling fame and ever hanging out with them again.Hannah ShearsSo Hannah goes it alone, like a rat king chewing her way through her own offspring to dominate the sewer, and performs Demi Lovato's "Skyscraper" at the arena. Only it turns out that without her cronut cronies making her sound good, her tuning is a bit off and she enunciates like a cleft Tweenie. They put her through anyway because the standards are so low this year they'd give these two four yeses because of their cheeky personality.SeeSee with these other two pricks known as group 'Dynamix'
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