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Sports

An NFL Player May Have Taunted A Police Dog, A Third Degree Felony In Pennsylvania

I'm done with this fucking planet.

Centuries ago, English and Dutch colonialists settled a great land near the Delaware River. After land swaps and the extermination of the natives, part of that land eventually became Pennsylvania. William Penn, its Quaker leader, had ideals for this land: freedom of religion and the establishment of a county commission, two legal innovations copied by many colonies.

Oh yes, and he absolutely forbade the taunting of police animals.

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Statute 5511.2 of Pennsylvania law is clear:

"It shall be unlawful for any person to willfully or maliciously taunt, torment, tease, beat, kick or strike a police animal. Any person who violates any of the provisions of this subsection commits a felony of the third degree."

What does this have to do with sports, you might ask? Take it away, Penn Live:

"Shortly before kickoff of the Pittsburgh Steelers-Oakland Raiders game Sunday, Ray-Ray Armstrong lifted his shirt, began pounding his chest and barking at an Allegheny County Sheriff Office bomb-sniffing dog, Chief Deputy Kevin Kraus said.

By the end of the week Armstrong may be charged with taunting a police animal — a third-degree felony in Pennsylvania that carries a maximum sentence of seven years in prison and a $15,000 fine."

A fine, noble, humble land, settled upon a hill to the west of the Delaware River, where you are free to be yourself and prosper. But don't you dare fucking bark at their police dogs.