THE WORST THINGS OF ALL TIME
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Cake's Former Drummer Was Just Found Guilty of Child Molestation
Happy International Day of Happiness! Everything is terrible! Full Story
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Oh Goddamn It: Avril Lavigne Covers Nickelback's "This is How You Remind Me"
COME ON, CANADA. YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE THE CHOSEN ONES. Full Story
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311 Was An Inside Job
The powers that be have worked very hard to keep their involvement in 311 a secret. Records have been destroyed, data has been classified, and bleached dreadlocks have been shaved. Full Story
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Stop Doing the Fucking Harlem Shake
At no point does this image resemble anything remotely close to the actual Harlem Shake, which is a dance. Not a meme that involves flailing. Full Story
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The Worst Band Tattoos Of All Time, Ever
In the past ten years, our culture has reversed its attitude about tattoos, and dermis ink has shifted from offensive scribblings on the disease-ridden arms of convicts and sailors to literally everyone you know in real life and see on TV. Full Story
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The Worst Successfully-Funded Band Kickstarters of All Time, Ever
Thanks to Kickstarter, that great equalizer of crowdsourced guilt-funding, people with terrible ideas have been more able than ever to spray their garbage all over this terrible world. Full Story
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Phish Has Been a Band for Thirty Years Now and They Have Sucked the Whole Time
Believe it or not, 2013 is the thirty-year anniversary of Phish, Vermont's pied-pipers of Wookie stoner trash. For snobs looking to bash a shitty band, Phish is pretty low-hanging fruit, but it's important that we never forget that this band is total awful garbage. Full Story
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Ace of Base's Secret Nazi Past
Before he founded Ace of Base, Ulf Ekberg was a member of Commit Suiside, a Nazi punk band.
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Parquet Courts - "Light Up Gold Road Trip" (Full Documentary)
In this new documentary, Noisey follows rising indie rockers Parquet Courts from Mexico to Texas and London as they tour to support their debut LP, 'Light Up Gold.'
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Yung Lean Doer Is the Weirdest 16-Year-Old White Swedish Rapper You'll Hear This Week
Yung Lean raps over pillow-fluffy beats and raps about glory holes and Arizona Iced Tea. Who the fuck is this kid? And why is he like this?
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Adam Ant - The British Masters, Chapter 6
Noisey's John Doran talks with the great post-punk pop star Adam Ant about tribal body mods and layering tape.
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Photos: Taking Acid at Coachella
When Paley sent these photos in, she included a nice little caveat over email that we've decided to reprint here in full, not only because it's too good to edit, but because her photographs of her and her weird buddies riding the snake are some of the best
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R.I.P. Storm Thorgerson (1944-2013)
On Thursday, the hyper-talented graphic designer, artist, and famed album cover creator Storm Thorgerson passed away after a battle with cancer. He was 69 years old.
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The Internet Is Scary
As of six months ago, my Facebook fanpage is like a dojo where hormonal teenagers hone their technique. Here is a heartfelt poem from some kid who wants to rape, kill, and marry me.
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I Accidentally Touched Little Richard's Butt One Time
It was in the Detroit airport. After it happened Little Richard said, "He graze my derriere."
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Listen to St. Lucia's Remix of The Colourist's "Little Games"
Last month, Cali quartet the Colourist released "Little Games," and St. Lucia just pulled a warm Balearic blanket over the whole thing, sanding away its rough edges with bright synths and lightly gated percussion.
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Aaron Montaigne, Godfather of Screamo, is More Interesting Than You Can Ever Hope to Be - Part Two
On surviving combat in Iraq and Afghanistan with the help of magic, 'Bladerunner,' and everything in between.