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You Saw This Coming: Lil Poopy's Father is Under Investigation for Child Abuse/Neglect
By Sasha Hecht
Remember Lil Poopy? Of course you remember Lil Poopy. Lil Poopy is forever branded into your brains with the searing hot power of pre-pre-teen flow and on-point fancy braid game. Well, not everything is big booty hoes and Lambos for the littlest Coke Boy; in a not-even-remotely-surprising turn of events, Poopy's father, Luis Rivera Sr. is under investigation by the Brockton, MA police department for child abuse and/or neglect.
Incited by images of the tot partying it up in a Waterbury, Connecticut nightclub, the Brockton PD looked into Poopy's (né Luis Rivera Jr.) videos and found what they've deemed "a bit much for a nine-year-old," warranting a call to the Department of Children and Families last Sunday. The don's dad has responded to the police and indignant community members, asserting that his son, who is only "acting," has done nothing wrong. What's more is that the ass slapping everyone is pointing to as evidence of "borderline child abuse" isn't a sexual gesture; it's like a congratulatory tap from one athlete to another.
"When you hit a home run, when you go to the bleachers, they tap you on the butt,” Rivera told Enterprise News. “He’s not doing anything wrong.”
See? Samesies.
As Poopy Sr. lawyers up, the future of lil Luis' rap career is up in the air. But no matter what comes of this episode, an important lesson has been learned: "Coke" ain't a bad word, but maybe don't let your kid talk about slinging it.
Sasha was once retweeted by @POOPYNATION and it was her crowning glory. Follow her on Twitter - @sashahecht
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