You Saw This Coming: Lil Poopy's Father is Under Investigation for Child Abuse/Neglect
Remember Lil Poopy? Of course you remember Lil Poopy. Lil Poopy is forever branded into your brains with the searing hot power of pre-pre-teen flow and on-point fancy braid game. Well, not everything is big booty hoes and Lambos for the littlest Coke Boy; in a not-even-remotely-surprising turn of events, Poopy's father, Luis Rivera Sr. is under investigation by the Brockton, MA police department for child abuse and/or neglect.
Incited by images of the tot partying it up in a Waterbury, Connecticut nightclub, the Brockton PD looked into Poopy's (né Luis Rivera Jr.) videos and found what they've deemed "a bit much for a nine-year-old," warranting a call to the Department of Children and Families last Sunday. The don's dad has responded to the police and indignant community members, asserting that his son, who is only "acting," has done nothing wrong. What's more is that the ass slapping everyone is pointing to as evidence of "borderline child abuse" isn't a sexual gesture; it's like a congratulatory tap from one athlete to another.
"When you hit a home run, when you go to the bleachers, they tap you on the butt,” Rivera told Enterprise News. “He’s not doing anything wrong.”
As Poopy Sr. lawyers up, the future of lil Luis' rap career is up in the air. But no matter what comes of this episode, an important lesson has been learned: "Coke" ain't a bad word, but maybe don't let your kid talk about slinging it.
Sasha was once retweeted by @POOPYNATION and it was her crowning glory. Follow her on Twitter - @sashahecht
Welcome to Koch Boyz, Where We Document What French Montana and the Koch Brothers Are Up To
Welcome to Koch Boyz, a column dedicated to any time the Koch Brothers and French Montana do anything within a few days of each other.
Watch Mark McGuire's Pretty Personal Video for "The Human Condition"
Former Emeralds guitarist incorporates footage from his Dad's "celebrity roast" back in 89...
Listen to a Preview of Julian Casablancas' New Solo LP
The Strokes frontman teases us with what's to come under his new guise Julian Casablancas + The Voidz.
Dum Dum Girls - "Are You Okay" (By Bret Easton Ellis, Official Short Film)
The Dum Dum Girls team up with Bret Easton Ellis in this anxious tale of chilling neurosis. Plus a very personal interview with Dee Dee.
Inside Icona Pop's Wardrobe on Miley's Bangerz Tour
How can you compete with Miley's tongue? By dressing like a cyber warrior from future planet called Awesome.
Listen to an Unreleased Unwound Track, and Read Our In-Depth Interview
Numero Group has taken it upon themselves to give the cult band the historical treatment they deserve.
Real Estate: The Atlas of New Jersey
The band opens up about being called a beach band and how the internet is ruining our lives.
Babymetal Is Your New Favorite Japanese Nü-Metal Girl Group
Meet the teens who have been sent to destroy you.
Every Time Your Band Does An Encore, A Puppy Dies
And other reasons why encores are terrible.
Eiffel 65 Are the Fathers to Your Style Even If You're Too Much of a Dick to Admit It
The dude who wrote "Blue (Da Ba Dee)" explains why having one hit is better than having none hits.