You Saw This Coming: Lil Poopy's Father is Under Investigation for Child Abuse/NeglectBy Sasha Hecht
Remember Lil Poopy? Of course you remember Lil Poopy. Lil Poopy is forever branded into your brains with the searing hot power of pre-pre-teen flow and on-point fancy braid game. Well, not everything is big booty hoes and Lambos for the littlest Coke Boy; in a not-even-remotely-surprising turn of events, Poopy's father, Luis Rivera Sr. is under investigation by the Brockton, MA police department for child abuse and/or neglect.
Incited by images of the tot partying it up in a Waterbury, Connecticut nightclub, the Brockton PD looked into Poopy's (né Luis Rivera Jr.) videos and found what they've deemed "a bit much for a nine-year-old," warranting a call to the Department of Children and Families last Sunday. The don's dad has responded to the police and indignant community members, asserting that his son, who is only "acting," has done nothing wrong. What's more is that the ass slapping everyone is pointing to as evidence of "borderline child abuse" isn't a sexual gesture; it's like a congratulatory tap from one athlete to another.
"When you hit a home run, when you go to the bleachers, they tap you on the butt,” Rivera told Enterprise News. “He’s not doing anything wrong.”
As Poopy Sr. lawyers up, the future of lil Luis' rap career is up in the air. But no matter what comes of this episode, an important lesson has been learned: "Coke" ain't a bad word, but maybe don't let your kid talk about slinging it.
Sasha was once retweeted by @POOPYNATION and it was her crowning glory. Follow her on Twitter - @sashahecht
Ace of Base's Secret Nazi Past
Before he founded Ace of Base, Ulf Ekberg was a member of Commit Suiside, a Nazi punk band.
Parquet Courts - "Light Up Gold Road Trip" (Full Documentary)
In this new documentary, Noisey follows rising indie rockers Parquet Courts from Mexico to Texas and London as they tour to support their debut LP, 'Light Up Gold.'
Yung Lean Doer Is the Weirdest 16-Year-Old White Swedish Rapper You'll Hear This Week
Yung Lean raps over pillow-fluffy beats and raps about glory holes and Arizona Iced Tea. Who the fuck is this kid? And why is he like this?
Adam Ant - The British Masters, Chapter 6
Noisey's John Doran talks with the great post-punk pop star Adam Ant about tribal body mods and layering tape.
Photos: Taking Acid at Coachella
When Paley sent these photos in, she included a nice little caveat over email that we've decided to reprint here in full, not only because it's too good to edit, but because her photographs of her and her weird buddies riding the snake are some of the best
R.I.P. Storm Thorgerson (1944-2013)
On Thursday, the hyper-talented graphic designer, artist, and famed album cover creator Storm Thorgerson passed away after a battle with cancer. He was 69 years old.
The Internet Is Scary
As of six months ago, my Facebook fanpage is like a dojo where hormonal teenagers hone their technique. Here is a heartfelt poem from some kid who wants to rape, kill, and marry me.
I Accidentally Touched Little Richard's Butt One Time
It was in the Detroit airport. After it happened Little Richard said, "He graze my derriere."
Listen to St. Lucia's Remix of The Colourist's "Little Games"
Last month, Cali quartet the Colourist released "Little Games," and St. Lucia just pulled a warm Balearic blanket over the whole thing, sanding away its rough edges with bright synths and lightly gated percussion.
Aaron Montaigne, Godfather of Screamo, is More Interesting Than You Can Ever Hope to Be - Part Two
On surviving combat in Iraq and Afghanistan with the help of magic, 'Bladerunner,' and everything in between.