I DON'T KNOW WHY I'M NOT REALLY FEELING THIS, THAT DJ MUSTARD DUDE PRODUCED THIS WHOLE SHIT IT SEEMS LIKE. HOMIE MAKES EXCEPTIONAL STRIP CLUB MUSIC BUT THESE BEATS SOUND LIKE HIS THROWAWAYS B. YG MUST BE HIS COUSIN OR EXTORTING HIM OR SOME SHIT. THIS SHIT SOUNDS LIKE WEST COAST ATLANTA. WHERE ARE YOU FROM MY GUY? COMPTON, ALABAMA? THAT'S NOT MY PROBLEM WITH THIS SHIT THOUGH NAHMEAN I DON'T CARE THAT THIS SOUNDS LIKE MR. COLLIPARK PRODUCED AN E-40 ALBUM. THIS SHIT IS JUST WILD BORING.
THERES 739 TRACKS ON THIS SHIT AND MAD FEATURES THAT I THOUGHT WAS GONNA BE POPPIN. TY$, JEEZY, JUICY J ETC...BUT ALL THESE SONGS ARE WIIIIIILD BORING!!
"MERO WHAT YOU MEAN THIS IS PRETTY STANDARD RAP TOPICS HOW IS THIS BORING AND WAKA'S MIXTAPE WAS "PURE CRACK" MERO? ARE YOU A RACIST MERO?"
NO I'M NOT RACIST MY PAL BUT I AM VERY BORED RIGHT NOW B. I KNOW THIS NIGGA YG WAS NOT IN THE STUDIO LIKE "I'MA MAKE THIS SHIT SO WHEN NIGGAS REVIEW IT THEY GET REALLY INTO A GAME OF SUDOKU BECAUSE MY SHIT IS SO MONOTONOUS AND BORING" BUT THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED. I STARTED LISTENING TO THIS SHIT AND INSTEAD OF CONCENTRATING SO I COULD DELIVER A VERY WELL THOUGHT OUT KNOWLEDGEABLE REVIEW (JK LOL) I STARTED BROWSING REAL ESTATE LISTINGS IN VERY RICH AREAS OF NEW JERSEY SO I COULD MOVE OUT THE HOOD ONCE VICE GIVES ME A MILLION DOLLARS. ALSO DOM KENNEDY SUCKS. AND THERE'S A DOM KENNEDY FEATURE ON HERE. MUSTARD COULDN'T GIVE THIS NIGGA "I'M DIFFERENT" OR "RACK CITY"? THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE YOUR MAN AND YOU LACED HIM WIT A BUNCH OF TEDDY RUXPIN DELL LAPTOP BULLSHIT INSTRUMENTALS MY NIGGA.
ALSO THIS NIGGA GOT NO ADLIBS!! IF YOU GONNA BE A STRIP CLUB RAP NIGGA YOU NEED AT LEAST ONE VERY RECOGNIZABLE ADLIB TO SUCCESSFULLY BE THE AUDIO BACKGROUND FOR A "SHOWER SHOW" WHERE 2 WOMEN WITH SURGICALLY ALTERED ASSCHEEKS DO EROTIC THINGS TO EACH OTHER'S PPS AND BOOTYHOLES. I TURNED THIS SHIT OFF ON LIKE THE 47TH TRACK AND STARTED LISTENING TO NIGGAS WHO ARE DOING THIS SHIT CORRECTLY, NAMELY FRENCH MONTANA. HAAAANH.
I GIVE THIS SHIT 2 PILES OF DUTCHGUTS OUTTA 5. THIS IS NOT REALLY GOOD AT ALL. I'MA LISTEN TO THIS AGAIN AT MY CRIB AFTER I DRINK A BOTTLE OF GEORGI AND LET YOU KNOW IF I STILL GIVE THIS SHIT A 2. (PROLLY)
STANDOUT TRACK: NIGGA THERE IS LITERALLY 972 TRACKS ON THIS SHIT I DON'T EVEN CARE. THIS SHIT IS CURRENTLY IN MY RECYCLE BIN. THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO SOUND LIKE E-40'S "FUNCTION" AND IT SOUNDS LIKE SOME DUDE FROM COMPTON FUCKIN AROUND WITH FROOTY LOOPS ON MDMA.
THE KID MERO is a writer and comedian who dispenses #KNOWLEDGEDARTS. He's on Twitter - @THEKIDMERO.
-
Ace of Base's Secret Nazi Past
Before he founded Ace of Base, Ulf Ekberg was a member of Commit Suiside, a Nazi punk band.
-
Parquet Courts - "Light Up Gold Road Trip" (Full Documentary)
In this new documentary, Noisey follows rising indie rockers Parquet Courts from Mexico to Texas and London as they tour to support their debut LP, 'Light Up Gold.'
-
Yung Lean Doer Is the Weirdest 16-Year-Old White Swedish Rapper You'll Hear This Week
Yung Lean raps over pillow-fluffy beats and raps about glory holes and Arizona Iced Tea. Who the fuck is this kid? And why is he like this?
-
Adam Ant - The British Masters, Chapter 6
Noisey's John Doran talks with the great post-punk pop star Adam Ant about tribal body mods and layering tape.
-
Photos: Taking Acid at Coachella
When Paley sent these photos in, she included a nice little caveat over email that we've decided to reprint here in full, not only because it's too good to edit, but because her photographs of her and her weird buddies riding the snake are some of the best
-
R.I.P. Storm Thorgerson (1944-2013)
On Thursday, the hyper-talented graphic designer, artist, and famed album cover creator Storm Thorgerson passed away after a battle with cancer. He was 69 years old.
-
The Internet Is Scary
As of six months ago, my Facebook fanpage is like a dojo where hormonal teenagers hone their technique. Here is a heartfelt poem from some kid who wants to rape, kill, and marry me.
-
I Accidentally Touched Little Richard's Butt One Time
It was in the Detroit airport. After it happened Little Richard said, "He graze my derriere."
-
Listen to St. Lucia's Remix of The Colourist's "Little Games"
Last month, Cali quartet the Colourist released "Little Games," and St. Lucia just pulled a warm Balearic blanket over the whole thing, sanding away its rough edges with bright synths and lightly gated percussion.
-
Aaron Montaigne, Godfather of Screamo, is More Interesting Than You Can Ever Hope to Be - Part Two
On surviving combat in Iraq and Afghanistan with the help of magic, 'Bladerunner,' and everything in between.
NOW PLAYING ON YOUTUBE
Comments