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Which Cleveland Rapper Can Counteract A Lil B Curse? A VICE Sports Investigation

The Golden State Warriors have a rapper/wizard in their corner who can change a series with a hex. Can the Cleveland Cavaliers find a counterpoint to Lil B?

Even though the Golden State Warriors took the Western Conference Finals in a gentleman's sweep, the Houston Rockets were no easy mark. In fact, it took an assist from the Bay Area rap community to put them over the top: E-40 released a Warriors version of his hit single "Yup!", but more importantly, rapper/artist/motivational speaker/philanthropist/activist Lil B put a curse on James Harden after taking exception to how closely Harden's on-court pot-stirring resembled his famous cooking dance.

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The Warriors will face the Cleveland Cavaliers in the Finals. If the Based God finds a reason to curse LeBron James, these Finals could be short and dull. But Cleveland has a bevy of talented rappers, some of whom may also have the sort of quasi-magical powers Lil B has displayed. If even one of them can put a counter-hex on Steph Curry, Cleveland might finally get that ring.

So: who in eastern Ohio can provide that supernatural assist? We did the research.

BONE THUGS N HARMONY

Bio: Bone Thugs have been synonymous with Cleveland rap since inking a deal with Eazy-E's Ruthless Records in the early 1990's and laying down a string of classics. LeBron loves them, as does every other Ohio resident under the age of 40.

Are they magic? In their videos, Bone Thugs do a lot of uncanny shit, from rocking hats that are on fire and communing with the dead (RIP Uncle Charles!). And in 2007, they worked with Fleetwood Mac, who are definitely kind of magic. As a bonus, Bizzy Bone is completely insane.

Verdict: NO. They may be overseeing the finals through some crystal ball and rapping about it, but Bone are honestly too big to be relegated to supernatural backchannels.

KID CUDI

Bio: Cudi's a decent rapper but he really earned his place by pioneering the mopey, stoned rap-singing that would reach its peak in Kanye's 808's and Heartbreaks. You have definitely snorted drugs to the Crookers remix of "Day and Night," possibly the most iconic song of the mid-2000's, and you were right to do it.

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Is he magic? First and foremost, Cudi is in a band called WZRD and that has to count for something. But he's also the most #based artist from the 216, and thus the best chance for Cleveland to combat Lil B's hex. By some accounts, he even cursed LeBron after The Decision.

Verdict: NO. Can someone so Hollywood be trusted to root against California? Can you trust a wizard with perfect teeth?

MGK

Bio: The fire-spitting checkered Nike SB shoe formerly known as Machine Gun Kelly is (still!) signed to Bad Boy and is (probably still!!!) dating Amber Rose. He's boys with Dan Gilbert and is a steady presence in Quicken Loans Arena.

Is he magic? The Dark Arts were definitely invoked in his creation, in which a can of Monster Energy Drink was imbued with the spirit of Waka Flocka Flame.

Verdict: NO. Unfortunately, MGK's power over sporting events only works at the X Games.

STALLEY

Bio: Stalley is a rappin-ass rapper from Massillon, a small city just west of Canton and south of Akron. He came up hooping against Bron and played college ball at LIU. Rick Ross quixotically signed him to Maybach Music.

Is he magic? His beard is magnificent, it might also be magic.

Verdict? NO. Rick Ross will never give his curse a release date.

RAY JR.

Bio: The long-simmering self-proclaimed Mayor of East Cleveland sounds like a less luxury-minded version of Rick Ross. He went through the industry ringer with Def Jam but is now crewed up with MGK's EST label. He's really good.

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Is he magic? Honestly, not really. He is really good at rapping though!

Verdict? NO. Ray could definitely throw Steph Curry's charmed season off with some well-placed vitriolic tweets, but a curse is probably beyond his purview.

For further research, here's some more awesome Cleveland rap:

Preme Dibiasi f/ Pooh Gutta - "Buss It Down"
Ray Jr. f/ Ducky Smallz - "Sloppy"
King Chip - "Walking Home"
Stalley f/ Scarface - "Swangin"
Billard - "I Can't Get Enough"
Pooh Gutta f/ Young Shank - "We Got Them"
Shawn K - "Gibberish"
Ray Cash f/ TI, Pimp C, Project Pat - "Bumpin My Music" remix
Al Fatz - "Came Down"
DJ Steph Floss's Soundcloud

Shout out Terry Urban and LiveMixtapes too.