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What Song Do You Want Played At Your Funeral?

By Josh Schneider

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Summer is the season of life at its most vital and effervescent. The trees are in full bloom, the air is pregnant with plant sperms (a.k.a. pollen), and the 20-somethings of Brooklyn are out in their skimpiests, sunning their lithe bodies in a joyous expression of youth and beauty. What better time than to poll our city’s most promising about their funeral arrangements? Like a grim reaper with a dictaphone in place of a scythe, we descended upon Williamsburg’s McCarren Park to ask: What’s the soundtrack for your journey into the great unknown? What song would you want played at your funeral? Be sure to leave your track picks in the comments, future deceased people.


L to R: Sarah, Eviv, Zak

What song would you like played at your funeral?
Sarah: Definitely "Mr. Blue Sky."

By ELO. Optimistic, nice. What about you?
Eviv: I would have to say "Adam’s Song" by Blink 182. Me and my best friend, when we were 5 years old—or however old we were—decided that we would play that at each other’s funeral. 

So you made a pact, at age 5…How did you plan on attending each other's funerals?
We just would. It was a pact.

And you, sir?
Zak: “Grind With Me” by Pretty Ricky.

And why’s that?
Because it’s the best song ever written.


Brooke and Leah

Say you were dead and it was your funeral, what song would you want playing on the stereo?
Brooke: “Don’t Fear the Reaper,” Blue Oyster Cult.

Okay okay, a little obvious. Any particular reason for that song?
Because it’s not sad, it’s badass.

And you, miss. What song would you like played at your own funeral?
Leah: “Stairway to Heaven,” Led Zeppelin. Because I might not go to heaven.

Why not?
What if there’s no Heaven? What if I don’t meet the criteria?

What if there is a Heaven? Why wouldn’t you meet the criteria?
It’s going to take me another lifetime to atone for all my sins. I could come back as a squirrel in McCarren Park.

What if McCarren Park is Heaven? What if McCarren park is Hell?
Sometimes, I wonder.


Cory

Imagine you are the DJ at your own funeral. What song do you play?
Cory: “Party All The Time” [by Rick James and Eddie Murphy]. It’s just my personality. My friends would just start cracking up when they heard it. That’s all I care about. Entertainment.


Morgan

You look like you’re in the prime of life. Would you care to tell Noisey what song you’d like played at your funeral?
Morgan: Maybe a Patti Smith song. I haven’t listened to her in a while, but I just like her.

Then why her?
I wouldn’t play the pop songs I listen to. Patti Smith is just more down to earth.

What pop song would be most inappropriate for your funeral?
"Call Me Maybe." I think it would be out of place at a funeral.

Hey, it’s your funeral.


Alice

Assuming you were dead, and it was your funeral, what song would you want on the speakers?
Alice: “Boom Biddy Bye Bye” by Cypress Hill. I like the irony.


Steven

I don’t know what it says in your will, but in the section marked "Song to be played at the funeral services," what would you put?
Steven: “Pale Blue Eyes” by The Velvet Underground.

Any reason why?
It always has been. I had that conversation in high school once.


Chris

What song would you want played at your wake?
Chris: Some song with the "brown note" in it. Are there any songs with the brown note in it?

The sonic frequency that makes you shit your pants? I have a feeling that any song like that probably wouldn’t do very well on the pop charts.
I don’t want people to have a good time.

So you want people to suffer?
Yeah. Just the brown note and a bunch of static and noise, for about 10 minutes. That seems like a reasonable amount of time.


Ben

Imagine you were dead, what song would you want played at your funeral?
Ben: "Be A Star" by Tyra Banks. She’s my thinspiration.

I guess you’re shooting for skeletal then?
Yeah.

 

@jshmsh

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