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What I Learned About Style From Eve's "Who's That Girl"

The keys to being an anti-social bad bitch? Deadly animals, leather catsuits, and lava lamp print.

It can be lonely out there for a mob boss bad bitch with a space lair. Which is why Eve has a pet tiger and a slew of leather fedoras to keep her company. But lets talk about loners for a moment. If you are one, other anti-social role models are extremely important. Eve's video for her 2001 breakout hit, "Who's That Girl?", was a big moment lady loners everywhere because when it comes to reckless, moody and sartorially excessive rebels, mentally stable females are few and far between (I love you Carrie but we can't all be about that life). Even as Ruff Ryders' first lady, Eve has always been in her own league, and as the track that opened the door for her, "Who's That Girl" gives a glimpse of the OG, Philly-bred Eve, before the fame, publicity and that blonde bob makeover.

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This video is an ode to being too badass to trifle with civilization or home decor, as well as to wearing outfits that will scare off any potentially friendly humans. In this video, Eve gives friends, furniture and mainstream rap's expectations of femininity the finger, and looks damn good doing it. Have you ever wanted to pull off a look that left onlookers dumbfounded, wondering whether they should flee in fear or profess their love for you? Same. Eve is here to show us how to pull off looking simultaneously hot and evil and like you just hopped off a flaming BMX bike. Observe:

The devil on your shoulder got a makeover. She's sick of watching you waffle over reliable car brands and has moved into her own minimalist space lair. She wears all the outfits you should have bought and she does everything you're too sheepish to do. She has a mini fridge filled with pre-recall Four Loko. She jumps off of cliffs in a lambskin bikini. All of her pets are poisonous. She sleeps in chairs without worrying about getting a crick in her neck because she's just. That. Fearless.

WEAR THIS
Buy the first collared leather cat suit you can find. Pop said collar, buy a Ducati, and drive so fast that your eyebrows start to blow off your face.

BE THE LAVA LAMP YOU WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD
2003 JLo was the only person to ever get the plunging chiffon neckline right. Not that Eve gives a shit. This is the perfect "don't talk to me. If you do I'll get LOUD" outfit. I'm pretty sure her singular goal with this getup was to look like some melting alien slime with an attitude. Or a mirage. Or a yellow jacket in a blender. Another perfect balance of hot and scary. Cancel out your fishnets and exposed midriff with a print that looks legitimately angry. Dressing like an optical illusion is absolutely a thing, just don't forget the shades. Necessary for blocking all the side eye you'll get.

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HYPNOTIZE ONLOOKERS WITH YOUR GLOSS
Forget extreme hair, makeup or T&A-- Eve kills any hypothetical competition (there isn't any because she's in the Matrix) with this patent leather pout. Is it creepy to say that Eve has the best mouth in hip hop? Is it obvious that I've spent a few long moments just gawking at that face? I mean, just look at it:

No amount of shimmer powder can make the rest of us look like this, but a girl can try. If you can't pull off looking this badass, at least opt for sinister accessories. Long latex gloves and a choker that looks like barbed wire? Yes. Add a massive plastic Chanel logo and you're set.

KEEP YOUR BRAIDS CLOSE AND YOUR DEADLY ANIMALS CLOSER
No one cared about Louboutins in 2001, but Eve knew better. Top off your red bottoms with a red fedora and as much leather as possible. A fedora angle like that will force you to tilt your head back and give an involuntary "kiss my foot" look to anyone that happens to walk by. Make sure people are both sexually attracted to you and scared for their lives.

In case Eve didn't communicate with all the leather and scowling that she is not to be fucked with, she keeps a tiger and a scorpion on deck at all times. Yes, that is a jewel-encrusted scorpion. Bad bitches have budgets, too.

MOVE TO THE ARCTIC AND DYE YOUR FURS WITH THE BLOOD OF YOUR HATERS
No one can pull off looking this hard while squinting in front of an industrial fan better than Eve. There is fake snow all up in her eyes and she still looks untouchable. Also, where is she? Eve takes lonerism to a new level with these sets. Girl's so hard she doesn't even need an outhouse. But can we take a moment to ponder this hat:

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A feather like this shows the world what you expect. With a foot-long hat garnish, you can forget about clearing most doorways or riding around in anything but a convertible.

MAKE SURE YOUR ACCESSORIES BILLOW IN THE WIND
Whip a hater with your fluttering silks. Forget humans. Don leathers. Give no fucks.

Amalia Graziani is busy feeding her pet tiger right now. She's on Twitter - @graztifarian

Want more style inspiration? Check these out:

WHAT I LEARNED ABOUT STYLE FROM JENNIFER LOPEZ'S "LOVE DON'T COST A THING"

WHAT I LEARNED ABOUT STYLE FROM NO DOUBT'S "JUST A GIRL"

WHAT I LEARNED ABOUT STYLE FROM SHAKIRA'S "CAN'T REMEMBER TO FORGET YOU" FT. RIHANNA