Phish singer Trey Anastasio "phlipping the bird."
A few hours ago I published a story on Noisey called Phish Has Been a Band for 30 Thirty Years Now and They Have Sucked the Whole Time. While this wasn't exactly James Agee-caliber hard-hitting journalism, I thought I had a few choice zingers in there to describe Phish fans, especially phrases like "stoner Wookie trash," "fumbling, intolerable dickweeds," and, that old classic, "human garbage."
What I didn't realize was that the entire Phinternet would lock arms, steel themselves, and charge at me like a pack of wild, weed-crazed doom wargs. Since I published the article, I've felt like Edward The First in Braveheart. I've literally had to shut off my phone to avoid the avalanches of Tweets and emails from these hippy scumbags.
Now it's 4PM, and a few things have happened that I'd like to share with you all, if for no other reason than to hold a mirror up to Phish fans and show the world what a bunch of total dicks these guys are.
1. PHISH FANS ARE MAKING HATE ART ABOUT ME
2. SOMEONE IS MAKING HATE SHIRTS ABOUT ME
3. I HAVE RECEIVED HUNDREDS OF HATE-FILLED TWEETS
4. THERE IS A GREAT THREAD ON PHANTASYTOUR ABOUT IT
Phantasytour.com is a hippie message board with a predilection towards Phish. Click here for a fantastic eight-page discussion about what a douchebag I am: They even call me a faggot!
5. THE ARTICLE HAS RECEIVED OVER 170 HATE FILLED FACEBOOK COMMENTS
6. I HAVE RECEIVED ABOUT 100 EMAILS URGING ME TO DIE, KILL MYSELF, OR STOP WRITING
Phish phans, my pheelings are hurt. I phrostrate myself bephore you. Keep on rawkin' in the free world!
Ace of Base's Secret Nazi Past
Before he founded Ace of Base, Ulf Ekberg was a member of Commit Suiside, a Nazi punk band.
Parquet Courts - "Light Up Gold Road Trip" (Full Documentary)
In this new documentary, Noisey follows rising indie rockers Parquet Courts from Mexico to Texas and London as they tour to support their debut LP, 'Light Up Gold.'
Yung Lean Doer Is the Weirdest 16-Year-Old White Swedish Rapper You'll Hear This Week
Yung Lean raps over pillow-fluffy beats and raps about glory holes and Arizona Iced Tea. Who the fuck is this kid? And why is he like this?
Adam Ant - The British Masters, Chapter 6
Noisey's John Doran talks with the great post-punk pop star Adam Ant about tribal body mods and layering tape.
Photos: Taking Acid at Coachella
When Paley sent these photos in, she included a nice little caveat over email that we've decided to reprint here in full, not only because it's too good to edit, but because her photographs of her and her weird buddies riding the snake are some of the best
R.I.P. Storm Thorgerson (1944-2013)
On Thursday, the hyper-talented graphic designer, artist, and famed album cover creator Storm Thorgerson passed away after a battle with cancer. He was 69 years old.
The Internet Is Scary
As of six months ago, my Facebook fanpage is like a dojo where hormonal teenagers hone their technique. Here is a heartfelt poem from some kid who wants to rape, kill, and marry me.
I Accidentally Touched Little Richard's Butt One Time
It was in the Detroit airport. After it happened Little Richard said, "He graze my derriere."
Listen to St. Lucia's Remix of The Colourist's "Little Games"
Last month, Cali quartet the Colourist released "Little Games," and St. Lucia just pulled a warm Balearic blanket over the whole thing, sanding away its rough edges with bright synths and lightly gated percussion.
Aaron Montaigne, Godfather of Screamo, is More Interesting Than You Can Ever Hope to Be - Part Two
On surviving combat in Iraq and Afghanistan with the help of magic, 'Bladerunner,' and everything in between.