Features
Weekly Music News Round-Up: Lil Wayne Signed His Daughter, New Usher/Diplo, and Beyoncé's Got That Documentary Thing
By Drew Millard
Man, we all devoted way too much Internet to the Harlem Shake this week didn't we? I'm talking the people who made those dumb "Harlem Shake" meme videos, the people who were mad about said Harlem Shake meme videos existing, and also the people who then took subsequent mad-ness and made jokes about the entire situation to basically clamp onto the whole Internet snowball that was slowly but surely building to a head of fast-onset irrelevance. Will we be talking about the Harlem Shake in a week? A month? A year? Will the nearly insane pace of the Web 2.0 zeitgeist allow videos like this to ever get discussed on some sort of I Love the 80's-esque show with a wizened, still-unfunny Michael Ian Black trying to replicate the meme in some VH1 backlot? Nobody knows, but what we do know is lots of shit happened in music news this week, and we're here to report it to you.
—The Village Voice showcased a nice back and forth of arguing-on-the-Internettery when Luke O'Neil squashed some kid's pipe dream of kickstarting his very own music blog. At the risk of joining into the fray, O'Neil's post was churlish, crotchety, unconstructive, and seemed like it existed only because the author had stumbled across something he deemed dumb and decided to lambaste it in order to make an example of it. Also, the basic thrust of the piece was that music journalism was dead. But music journalism isn't dead! And sometimes-Noisey contributor Dan Rys successfully argued so! You should read his piece, entitled "Advice for Aspiring Music Writers: Don't Quit, Just Don't Suck," which also ran in the Voice because just as Noisey is, they're an equal-opportunity opinion-showcaser.
—Billboard Reports that Lil Wayne has signed his daughter Reginae Carter to Young Money/Cash Money. I have no doubt her music will be awesome, because Lil Wayne has lots of money and he is going to make sure that his daughter puts out good songs, or someone will get fired. This is how being rich and famous works, and it is only awesome if you yourself are rich and famous.
—Last year on Valentine's Day, Usher and Diplo put out "Climax," which I'm not going to link to because you've memorized it already. This year, they put out "Go Missin," which is kinda Justin Timberlakey but still pretty great. Those two should just do an album together already.
—Tim Dog died, and it's really sad. Read Mobb Deen's obituary for him over at Passion of the Weiss.

—The-Dream thrust himself into our collective consciousness this week, first by wearing a real weird outfit at the Grammys that included three necklaces, two hats, a t-shirt hoodie, what appeared to be one of those longsleeve Under Armour things, and (probably) thirty-six different pairs of underwear. He then backed up the silliness of that outfit by putting out "Slow it Down," which featured Fabolous and was as good as anything he's put out in the past few years. Go The-Dream! Sell that Parental Advisory hat!
—HBO took a chance on a little-known song-and-dance woman named Beyoncé Knowles and made a documentary about her. It's airing Saturday at 8pm on HBO, but I'm sure you have little to no interest in that musical human.
—And finally, some light listening for your weekend. Araabmuzik put out For Professional Use Only, which is a hilariously nonsensical mixtape title with finds Mr. Muzik taking his once-lithe Eurocreepiness and making it heavier than all motherfuck, throwing in enough ponderous dubstep drops to carve out a second Grand Canyon. You can stream it below.
Yay! Am I a music critic yet? Tune in next week, when we find out the answer is still "No."
Drew Millard is perpetually waiting for the drop. You should follow him on twitter - @drewmillard
-
Ace of Base's Secret Nazi Past
Before he founded Ace of Base, Ulf Ekberg was a member of Commit Suiside, a Nazi punk band.
-
Parquet Courts - "Light Up Gold Road Trip" (Full Documentary)
In this new documentary, Noisey follows rising indie rockers Parquet Courts from Mexico to Texas and London as they tour to support their debut LP, 'Light Up Gold.'
-
Yung Lean Doer Is the Weirdest 16-Year-Old White Swedish Rapper You'll Hear This Week
Yung Lean raps over pillow-fluffy beats and raps about glory holes and Arizona Iced Tea. Who the fuck is this kid? And why is he like this?
-
Adam Ant - The British Masters, Chapter 6
Noisey's John Doran talks with the great post-punk pop star Adam Ant about tribal body mods and layering tape.
-
Photos: Taking Acid at Coachella
When Paley sent these photos in, she included a nice little caveat over email that we've decided to reprint here in full, not only because it's too good to edit, but because her photographs of her and her weird buddies riding the snake are some of the best
-
R.I.P. Storm Thorgerson (1944-2013)
On Thursday, the hyper-talented graphic designer, artist, and famed album cover creator Storm Thorgerson passed away after a battle with cancer. He was 69 years old.
-
The Internet Is Scary
As of six months ago, my Facebook fanpage is like a dojo where hormonal teenagers hone their technique. Here is a heartfelt poem from some kid who wants to rape, kill, and marry me.
-
I Accidentally Touched Little Richard's Butt One Time
It was in the Detroit airport. After it happened Little Richard said, "He graze my derriere."
-
Listen to St. Lucia's Remix of The Colourist's "Little Games"
Last month, Cali quartet the Colourist released "Little Games," and St. Lucia just pulled a warm Balearic blanket over the whole thing, sanding away its rough edges with bright synths and lightly gated percussion.
-
Aaron Montaigne, Godfather of Screamo, is More Interesting Than You Can Ever Hope to Be - Part Two
On surviving combat in Iraq and Afghanistan with the help of magic, 'Bladerunner,' and everything in between.

Comments