Up the Puns, October Edition: Carly Delay Jepsen, Laura Jane Grapes, and Lame Impala

There are so many music sites on the internet these days, most of them just recycling the same news headlines over and over. Where is the fun? Where are the goofs? Where, we ask, are the puns? Wouldn't it be more fun if you could learn and laugh at the same time? We agree, so we decided to start a new column called "Up The Puns" where we educate you via hilarious puns that both you and your dad can equally enjoy. But enough blabbing, it's time for us to perform punnilingus on your sexy brains…

Recently, Best Coast’s Bethany Cosentino publicly voiced her displeasure with a college newspaper’s review of the band’s show, calling the writer "sexist" and saying he put too much focus on her attire. I guess his "vest boast" totally backfired.

Word on the street is that Amber Rose and Wiz Khalifa could be getting back together—but when it comes to their personal life, Khalifa me out of it! Too much drama.

Hozier threatened to sue Chilly Gonzalez after Gonzalez accused him of ripping off a Feist song on his track "Take Me To Church." Hozier? More like "hoser." (British slang pun.)

Erykah Badu covered Drake's "Hotline Bling" and I subsequently have to suggest that she change her name to Erykah Bad-music. Little word play with Ms. Badu's last name there. OK, moving right along…

Lauryn Hill is apparently working on a follow-up to The Miseducation Of Lauryn Hill. It's been 17 years, Lauryn, it seems like you've been miseducated on how a clock works.

Against Me! announced earlier this year that they have their own signature beer "Black Me Stout," but the rumor mill says they may soon be producing their own wine using Laura Jane Grapes. Seriously though, Laura is a great artist and Noisey columnist and we wish her luck in her beer endeavors.

A lot of people are digging The Wonder Years' new album No Closer To Heaven. I enjoy it, although admittedly having a frontman named "Soupy" Campbell has led to some pretty noodly guitar riffs.

The World Is A Beautiful Place And I Am No Longer Afraid To Buy their new album. Seriously, it's pretty good.

La Dispute just released a documentary called Tiny Dots which was filmed while they supported their latest release Rooms Of The House. Or, as I call it when I'm listening to it as I clean my apartment, "Brooms Of The House."

Pianos Become The Teeth recently posted some photos of them hanging out with a moose on their European Tour. No word on if their album The Lack Long After will officially be changed to The Lack Long Antler.

This summer, Carly Rae Jepsen finally released her latest album E•MO•TION, a full three years after her last release, Kiss. More like Carly Delay Jepsen, right?

Former One Direction mention Zayn Malik also announced plans to leave the incredibly popular group to go solo. Considering how profitable 1D is, this seems inzayn!

Rihanna has just announced her new album will be called ANTI, which also seems to be her attitude when it comes to writing her own material if we're being Rihonest. Ouch!

Tame Impala recently performed their song "The Less I Know The Better" on The Late Show With Stephen Colbert. More like Lame Impala. The less I hear this song, the better.

Hip-hop supergroup Run The Jewels just came out with an album called Meow The Jewels. We don't really get the joke, which is pretty purrrplexing.

Speaking of feline jokes, actual cat Lil Bub apparently has an album coming out in December. Talk about Cat Power. Hopefully this one doesn't have stage fright!

Chris Brown was denied entry into Australia. Fuck Chris Brown. (Not a pun but fuck Chris Brown.)

Follow Jonah Bayer on Twitter for your daily dose of puns! - @mynameisjonah