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Music

Wet Pets and Wise Elders of the Noise Scene: In Conversation with Unicorn Hard-on

Why Valerie Martino wants more.

The last time I saw Unicorn Hard-on play live, a gorgeous golden retriever named Jackson laid on stage as Valerie Martino, who has been making music under that moniker since 2003, ripped into her pulsing, high-pitched, and bizarre dance anthem "Wet Pet." A distraction, sure, but the Providence-based musician was killing it too hard to even notice the wet pet's aptly-timed appearance. After a decade of making beat-driven music in the American noise scene (way before it was the cool thing to do) and releasing a slew of obscure vinyl, cassette, and CD-R releases on Breathmint, Hot Releases, More Records, and Tangled Hare (her own label), Valerie recently released her debut LP on Spectrum Spools, Weird Universe. We recently sat down over coffee and Bloody Marys in a busy East Williamsburg brunch spot to discuss making music, gender in the noise scene, being in relationships with techno musicians, and how to get famous.

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Noisey: How did Unicorn Hard-on start?
Valerie: For two years before I started playing live, I was just doing weird mixes on my PC at home. Just recording Casio keyboard weird beats and whatever melodies, and literally just moving them and putting them on top of each other. And I don't know, I thought it was total garbage. But I got something out of it. It wasn't until I discovered the noise scene that I realized people actually like to listen to that shit. It kind of just went from there to what I do now.

How has Unicorn Hard-on musically progressed over time? Feel free to touch on gear also.
It's funny because I'm using some of the same gear that I've had from the very beginning, which are those old school Electribes, the EA1. I have two of those that I play live with now. I started with that and the ER1. Just a really simple Korg drum machine and an analog modeling digital synthesizer. There's something about those Electribes. I'm a huge acid house fan. I can take from that genre using that equipment in some ways, and create my own little weirdo world. Unicorn Hard-on is basically all about that sound, which is why I can't get away from them.

And what is your sound?
I never know how to describe it, because it's dance music, but it's not. It's pop music, but it's totally not. It's experimental for sure. Like I said I'm really influenced by acid house and I think there's a lot of that real squelchy, high end sound that I just can't get enough of. And then I've also heard that my stuff sounds like video game music.

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You've been doing this project for ten years. Do you feel like a wise elder of the noise scene?
[pause] In some ways, yes. I get a lot of respect now from people, which is weird because I'm used to being the super intimidated person in the corner of the room looking at everybody else in total awe. And now people come up to me and tell me how much I've influenced them and shit. That's really honestly the best thing that's come out of playing music for ten years. Especially when women come up to me and tell me they started playing music because they saw me play. Because it's something they always wanted to do but didn't have the courage to do it, or they were super intimidated by it. It's been amazing to be able to influence other women to be more courageous in their creative endeavors in a very male dominated scene.

Do you still play in a very male dominated scene?
Oh yeah, definitely. A tiny bit less so now, but for sure. The weird thing is, I've always played in the noise scene, I've always done beats, whatever. But now beats have kind of taken over. Back in the day it was always, 'how harsh can you be?' I'd be playing these shows where it's literally a dude with four pedals and his mixer all tangled up in itself, playing harsh noise, and then I would come up and I'm like, "cha cha cha cha cha cha cha cha." You know? That was more of the backlash I got than for being a woman. Noise nerds talking shit about beats. Now techno is kind of growing, and noise and techno are cross pollinating, and so now I'm playing these shows with mostly techno people. And I feel like I have to start all over again. When I started in the noise scene it was all guys and I had to earn my respect in that scene. Now with techno it feels honestly even worse than noise ever was. It's all dudes.

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It's hard to talk about sexist stuff. There's no real right way to talk about it. I definitely got some backlash. I had some sexist shit said about me. But for the most part I had a big support system, which has helped me over the years. The more you play and the more confident you get and the older you get, you realize that that shit's so stupid anyways and it doesn't fucking matter, and you start letting go of those insecurities. But there's just not a lot of women doing it. When you're a woman doing it it's kind of hard to not notice that.

Who are your favorite people who play music right now? Who do you like to listen to and see live?
Valerie: FORM A LOG. Some of the best shit I've seen in a long time. CONTAINER. I know that sounds weird because he's, like, my boyfriend, but I've seen him literally go from zero to a hundred in three or four years. It's amazing. Literally starting a completely new project and trying something he'd never done before, and now he has a booking agent and tours the world.

And kills it.
Yeah and kills it. Always. Like, that's super inspiring. For me, seeing that process has been really eye opening in a way. It's a side of music that I've never had the privilege to be a part of, that whole business real deal. For me it's always just trying to get on a show and doing the best that you can with what you've got. Seeing somebody say, "What do you need? What do you need to be amazing? We will give it to you." That kind of thing. That's pretty awesome. And he deserves everything. He dedicates so much time to music. I strive to be more like him actually. I want to take music as seriously as he does. And it's hard because I don't make a living off of music, so I have to do day job shit. It gets really muddled sometimes.

How long have you and CONTAINER been dating for?
Ten years last November.

Everything in your life has happened for ten years. You guys going to get married or anything?
No? I don't know? Maybe one day. We've talked about it. Last night he went off on me about a lot of stuff. I get really annoying when I'm drunk. I had a period last night where I was kind of feeling sorry for myself and comparing myself to everybody else in the room. It was really awful. He kind of had to sit me down and be like, "You need to shut up. You played a good set. You just need to fucking keep working and do your shit and stop fucking bitching about it."

Did that help?
Yeah, it did. It does. I guess I kind of need that. I need people to just tell me to buck the fuck up. I don't know, I'm going to make myself sound like such a fucking asshole. I just [pause]… I want to do more. I want to play more. I want to have the opportunity to play for people I've never played for. And I don't know how to make that step happen for me. I put this record out, it's on a legit label. I think this record is amazing and I'm so proud of it. But I don't really know where to go from there. And then I see all of my friends and people around me having all these opportunities and getting asked to do all this stuff. And it's like, yeah, I'm fucking jealous. I want to play for people! That's the only thing I fucking want. I'm super happy for everybody, for the people I know who have gotten those opportunities. But I want to do that too. I want to fucking play festivals. I'll play fucking anything. I know I have something to offer. And I know my music is weird, and I know it's different, and it's hard for me to even classify. But I think that's what's cool about it. I like what I do. I think what I do is awesome. And I'd like to do more.

Reed Dunlea thinks you'd better cut the wise talk, bub. He's on Instagram. - @DISTORTREEDDUNLEA