The Whacked Universe of Tweak Bird: Driving the Van While Smoking Weed, Riding Motorcycles High, and Golfing Drunk with the Melvins

Photo credit: Bryan Richard Martin

Cali's molasses-slow, gloriously lazy-assed, sludge-metal-lite bro’ duo Tweak Bird are Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Cheech and Chong, and the Melvins' Stoner Witch rolled up in a skuzzy-haired, slacker surfer joint ready to be smoked. Since 2007, The Bird has churned out high-as-a fuckin'-kite psych-boogie metal and on its most recent record, Any Ol' Way, their riffers are arena-ready and perpetually hovering like the weed clouds in Up In Smoke.

On Any Ol’ Way, Bird—motorcycle enthusiasts (see the cover of their 2010 self-titled debut), the Melvins’ drunken golfing buds, and hilariously bumbling stoners—have upped the fuzzy riff goodness, wah-wah histrionics and loafer whine, rocking the muck out of its 11 seamlessly hooky anthems.

It’s also no wonder Tweak Bird count their heroes the Melvins as not only golf mates but big time fans and erstwhile tour mates—King Buzzo has sung their endless praise and the two recently shared a split single with the freaky-haired legend. Drummer Ashton Bird even slays on one of Dale Crover's hand-me-down kits.

Beers were flowing as we met up with Caleb and Ashtonat Williamsburg dive Luckydog in Brooklyn before their gig at Death By Audio to get the dish on golfing with Buzzo, getting those traps from Crover and the fried brothers’ constant weed hijinks as they tour the States stoned out of their minds.

Do you guys actually live near the Melvins?
Ashton: I’m like an eight-minute motorcycle ride from Dale’s (Crover) house.

It must be fun hanging with those dudes.
Caleb: Buzz is fun to listen to but Dale is great, too. They have great stories about each other, which is funny and when you get them in private.

How did you guys meet them?
Caleb: It was a Myspace message. It was super-cold like “here’s some music we recorded” because Dale was recording bands with Toshi (Kasai).

Ashton: I was messaging with Dale a bunch online and he was like “Well, I’m playing with this band Big Business” and I said “Oh, sounds cool.” But obviously I knew what he was talking about. I showed up at the show and I tried to play it so cool. He was like “Dude, let’s hang.” We go get a beer and twenty minutes later, we’re hugging each other. He was just playing guitar with Big Business at that point at a bowling alley by my house, so it was super cool.

Did you guys have Tweak Bird at that point?
Caleb: Just barely, just a handful of demos.

Buzz is into golf. Do you golf with him?
Ashton: I just feel embarrassed but they totally got me into it. We were on tour and Buzz was bringing like a little nine driver or whatever.

Nine iron? Whatever that means.
Ashton: Nine iron. Yeah, yeah. He was like “This is what you need to practice” and he was setting up these trashcans 30 yards away and telling us “Get the ball into the trashcan.” The first night I was kind of bored and then the second night was “Now I want to be able to do it.” By the 42nd night, I was totally addicted to golfing. There’s a golf course over by Mandel’s house. It’s kind of like a skeezy golf course where you don’t have to be good to play. I feel like we’re B- golfers. We have ulterior motives (laughing). I feel like we’re both decent.

So you’re both pretty good golfers, thanks to the Melvins?
Ashton: I love the driving range. They’ve got the cheapest beer in town and you just sit there and hit golf balls as far as you can. So into it. You can rent a club for a couple bucks and they’re open until 11pm.

And you got your drum set from Dale?
Ashton: Yeah, so early on. He was watching us play and he was like “Dude, you’re playing on that drum set? I’ve got like five drum sets.” So many drummers in the last five years have offered me so much cash for that drum set. They’re like “Crover’s kit, right?!”

Like how much do they offer for it?
Ashton: Dude, like thousands of bucks. I finally called Dale one night and was like “Dude, so this dude just offered me this much money for it” and Dale’s like “Well, take it and split it with me!” I was like “Do you have another drum set to sell me?” and Dale’s like “No.”

And you guys did the split single with Buzz right?
Caleb: Yeah, that was a fun time, too. For me being a big Melvins fan and seeing both Buzz acoustic and the wall of sound Melvins, it’s really cool to see how subtle his guitar playing can be. And just being able to hear all of his lyrics. It’s funny and cool to hear every word.

You must have been in heaven when they did the two-drummer combo. Maybe you can join in and do a triple-drummer lineup.
Ashton: Oh definitely. I have already offered to do percussion. I don’t know if they need any egg shakers, but we’ll see what’s up.

Did you guys grow up feeding each other off on music?
Ashton: For the most part. Our dad was some old burnout who would say “You kids need to hear this.” We didn’t ever listen to him but then a year later I’d be grabbing a record out of his stash, listening to it.

A lot of your song titles are kind of hippie-ish.
Ashton: Hippie-ish. Yeah. I don’t think we could ever really deny that. Yeah, it’s pretty hippy. We’re all about expanding people’s brains.

Are your parents hippies?
Ashton: They don’t really dig the drug use but they also understand that it happens or that they did it. They’re totally cool with the weed. We grew up on this twenty-acre farm in southern Illinois because our dad quit college and moved to the country to start a pot farm. But that ended up four years into it burning it all up because all the fuckin’ cops were circling the land.

You guys don’t seem like angry dudes at all. The music is really laid back and mellow.
Ashton: With the copious amounts of marijuana we smoke…

Yeah, I was going to get to that.

Caleb: “Yeah, I just wanna write this angry song but I can’t, man!”

Ashton: “I forgot what I was bummed about, dude!”

(Laughing)

So, the weed element in Tweak Bird isn’t really overplayed?
Ashton: No. I frequently find that just lately people started talking about how much weed I smoke. We’ve been on a tour with all of these bands and been with all these bands that are weed bands that have shown up and I’m just sitting there like smoking fifty joints around’em and being like “Why don’t you guys like to smoke pot, dude?” I don’t know. I just love doing it.

Do you stock up before the tour? Or do you have to score while on tour?
Caleb: It’s like a refuel situation when we’re on tour, you could say.

Ashton: We’ve got like nine major market cities. I have pretty good connections.

Which one of you smokes more weed?
Ashton: (to Caleb) Well, this guy would pass at some point.

Caleb: Eventually.

What would Tweak Bird sound like without weed?
Ashton: Probably like the first seven-inch.

Caleb: I think we were probably less stoned then. I feel like we wrote Undercover Crops drunk, we were at that little rehearsal spot, drinking liquor the whole time.

It seems like you two get along pretty nicely.
Ashton: We have big underlying issues with each other that come out all the time but what are we gonna do? Fight all the time? This homey is like “Speed limit?” I’m twenty miles over it and then it’s like “Homey, don’t drive with weed in the car” and I’m like “I only got four ounces.” By the way, I’ve never done that (laughing).

Caleb: Today, we leave the hotel and I don’t know what the fuck Ashton’s doing on your phone but he pulls into a handicap spot to roll a joint and smoke it (laughing). Is there any other place to roll a joint?

Is your van engulfed with weed clouds?
Caleb: …wafting, dispensary smell? Absolutely. I force them to chain to try to chain smoke to cloud it up.

Ashton: If there’s ever a situation where we are early for load in and the promoter shows up and he sees us in the van, we definitely make the Cheech and Chong entrance. It comes very quick like “Hey, man. How’s it goin’?” It’s always fun, man.

What’s with Tweak Bird and the motorcycles?
Ashton: I wish I could wake up and ride a motorcycle. Just every day, man. That would be the perfect way. It’s he hangover cure, if you have one…

Financially, it must be easy being in a band with your brother.
Caleb: 50/50 split. It’s pretty nice.

Ashton: Then I have to give my money to Caleb because I have already borrowed money from him.

I think you guys had done another interview for Noisey. Anything else to add? The weed stuff is always good to talk about.
Caleb: I feel like we did.

Ashton: It’s hard to remember. My memory is not so good (laughing).

Do you ever forget your drum parts live because you’re stoned?
Ashton: I actually don’t call them parts. It’s more of like an idea and we just go with it.

Do you guys actually rehearse?
Ashton: No. But we know each other so well.

Caleb: We call it taking liberties like ‘If you wanna take it, then take it.” Head space is a big thing before we start playing. We just want to feel in sync and that the sound is good and all that.

Are there off nights in the Tweak Bird universe?
Ashton: Constantly, dude (laughing). We’re seriously rolling the dice every night when we go out there. It’s like “Let’s try to see what we can do that’s fucked up and crazy and still play all the songs right.” It’s hard to find that balance and generally it errs on the side of fucked fucked up and crazy and not necessarily playing the songs right. But if we played the songs “right” every night, I’d be as bored as fuck. I would have quit this band so long ago. I don’t even know if people like that or not.

When you’ve opened up for the Melvins, do you feel like you need to be “on?”
Ashton: I don’t think it was pressure but watching Dale every night and that dude is so good. “I better not smoke too much weed.” Yeah, take a step back…

What are your plans after this tour?
Ashton: Go home and smoke a joint.

Caleb: Ride a motorcycle. Smoke a joint.

Do you smoke joints while your ride your motorcycles?

Ashton: I try to. But there’s a helmet law in California so it’s fuckin’ hard. But yeah, now and then.

Who does the van driving, because if one of you are stoned…
Caleb: Yeah…

Ashton: …I do the driving.

Caleb, do you trust this guy driving while he’s smoking weed?

Caleb: Not at all but what am I gonna do (laughing)?

Ashton: I do got 9,000 miles under my belt so what are ya gonna do…

Caleb: I close my eyes on the bench and just pray to dear god to get us there. Twenty miles over the speed limit with a joint hanging off the lip…

Has there been near-catastrophes driving stoned in the van?
Ashton: It seems like it’s constantly always near, man, but luckily we’ve never had the big one happen.

Let’s pray that doesn’t happen.
Caleb: (knocking on wood) Do you hear that in the recording there?

Ashton: The best one that I remember was playing Bottom of the Hill in San Francisco and some dude comes up to Caleb after the show and is like “I heard you guys like to party” and hands him a quarter of a pound of mushrooms or something and he’s like “I don’t know what to do with this” and he immediately hands it to me and I’m like “Cool.” So, we’re cruising down the road and we get pulled over and I’m like “Fuck” and I started chewing a couple down and then I’m like “Never mind. This is probably cool” and the cop is like “it’s totally cool.’ So we keep driving and I’m like “Damn. I hope I didn’t take too many of those mushrooms. I want to go to sleep.” We get like fifteen miles down the road and we forgot to turn our light back on after the last time we got pulled over and the next cop pulls us over and we’re like “Fuck!” So, I’m pounding all of the mushrooms and then that cop said it’s all cool, too. Forty more miles down the road. Worst trip, man.

Has your van been searched?
Ashton: Dude, we’ve been searched so many times. Butt searched in Switzerland, butt searched in Czechoslovakia….

Caleb: …strip searched a couple of times.

Ashton: It’s happened in Tennessee and Texas, too, dude. It’s all the same.

Caleb: They bring the dog in and they say “If we bring the dog in, what are we gonna find? You’re going to tell us everything you have.”

Ashton: I think the best time was they brought the dogs in the van and they are like “We know you got stuff” and we’re like “No, we don’t! We just finished smoking it while you were pulling us over, you idiots!” And they are like “No way!” They keep in looking and finally they find this bag that our merch guy had. They say “Who’s bag?” and we say “The merch dude.” So they are like “We got it!” and they open it up and it’s all these butters and cheeses from all the hotels (laughing). It’s all this smelly stuff and the dog is trying to eat it. So good. There’s a million stories. We can go all night.

Any parting thoughts?
Ashton: I would like to say Tweak Bird never travels with weed (laughing).

Brad Cohan has an unknown relationship with weed.

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