Turns Out The Gangnam Style Dude Made A Song About Murdering Every Single American
New York Magazine reports that PSY, that goofy South Korean dude who made "Gangnam Style," also once featured on a rock song called "Dear American," which is about killing American soldiers and torturing their families. Most of the track's lyrics are in Korean, but it prominently features somebody screaming the word "genocide," so we're guessing the following lyrics are more or less correct:
Kill those fucking Yankees who have been torturing Iraqi captives
Before we all go and burn YouTube for tricking us into watching Gangnam Style, let's consider that "Dear American" is from around the time that the U.S. was knee-deep in its Iraqi occupation. There were 37,000 troops in South Korea at the time that PSY recorded "Dear American," and they probably weren't all there just to do PSY's fucking horse dance. America is not always the best and we do fucked up shit on a regular basis, so PSY should be excused for letting off a little steam nearly ten years ago.
Still. Let's take this to its logical conclusion. PSY is performing in front of Barack Obama on Sunday as part of TNT's Christmas In Washington special. When you rearrange the letters of PSY, you get SPY. What if, in some sort of Zoolander-esque plot, PSY has been sent to America to infiltrate our culture and then assassinate somebody? All we're saying is maybe they should get somebody else to fill up those four minutes where "Gangnam Style" is supposed to go.