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This Video of Drake Doing Shots Out of His Grammy Is an Existential Mindfuck

And other things Drake has been up to lately.

Hey guys! So many things have happened this week in Drake and it’s only Tuesday (in Drake)! We’re really gearing up for Nothing Was the Same to drop on September 17th, which means that Drake’s been doing more and more shit in public in order to remind everyone that he is currently the most Drakian entertainer operating in the public sphere.

First off, he’s on the cover of GQ, which he’s appeared on so many that they’re probably one issue away from renaming their magazine This Month in Drake. The cover story is definitely great and worth reading, but it’s not as insane as the last Drake GQ story, in which he tried to have sex with the writer who was profiling him. Anyways, Instapaper that or something. Moving on.

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On Thursday, Drake announced that he’s hitting the road on the 41-date “Would You Like a Tour?” tour along with Future and Miguel, which will be very relevant to your interests if you like good things. After tweeting the tour announcement Drake tweeted, “I am media. Hahahaha,” which is kind of dumb and confusing, but then again lots of things Drake does are dumb and confusing so it’s fine.

[CORRECTION: He was referring to this. Sorry.]

Thursday was also the day that Drake joined J. Cole onstage at Irving Plaza in New York. J. Cole’s album Born Sinner just came out and it’s pretty good. Maybe not good enough to, like, actually buy, but definitely good enough to stream all the way through on Spotify a few times. But you know who totally disagrees with me? Drake! Because he and J. Cole went to Best Buy in Union Square Thursday night after his show, and Drake bought approximately 30,000 copies of Born Sinner.

It’s a pretty funny video and it’s definitely cute that Drake and J. Cole are friends enough to buy each other’s albums, but there’s this weird fatalistic impunity with which they do it: J. Cole points out that his actual fans won’t be able to get any copies, and Drake says, “That’s how it should be.” Though J. Cole drops a stack of his own CD shortly thereafter which implies they might be kinda drunk, this video could be read at yet another sneak-diss from Drake to Kanye West since it sort of felt like Drake was making a point not to buy Yeezus. As the two biggest rappers in the game, there’s been a cold war bubbling up between West and Drake for a couple years, and now that they’ll be putting out albums within a few months of each other, it might erupt into a full-on battle. Neither Drake nor Kanye are tough enough to actually punch each other, but I could definitely see them issuing some pretty great diss tracks. Or maybe Drake will get really strong, then find Kanye, then give him the People’s Elbow.

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Drake mania was kicked into hyperdrive on Saturday, when he released four new songs out of the blue, along with announcing Nothing was the Same’s September 17th release date. All of them are awesome (duh), but it’s unclear whether or not they’ll end up on his album. The first is called “The Motion” and features Sampha, who works with SBTRKT a lot and appears to have been deleted from even Drake's blog, where it was originally posted. Another is called “Jodeci Freestyle,” and doesn’t actually seem to be a freestyle at all. It does, however, feature his BFF J. Cole, and both of them rap about how they had sex with your girlfriend. Did Drake and J. Cole make this on Thursday night? Maybe! The only thing that is certain is that rappers will probably be rapping about having sex with your girlfriend until the sun swallows the earth and everyone starts spontaneously combusting in a death so fast we will be unable to feel the excruciating pain of being burned alive, no matter how mean and unrealistic the possibility of them having sex with your girlfriend might be. Probably the least exciting new Drake song is by his affiliate PARTYNEXTDOOR called "Over Here." You should probably just not listen to it so you can get to the Drake-featured remix of “Versace,” because it is PERFECT.

And finally, this week Drake put out a video of he and his friends drinking shots of something (lean?) out of his Grammy award. As of The Hairpin tweeted, this video is pretty much “Peak Drake.” Watch it below, and below that find my list of the most Drake things about this video.

  • Drake being afraid of the box his Grammy came in.
  • Drake wearing his own merch as if he and his friends are in some sort of weird, non-University affiliated frat.
  • A bottle of Malibu is sitting on Drake’s shelf.
  • Drake owning a Sopranos pinball machine.
  • Drake drinking out of his Grammy while one of his friends says, "So you know it's real," then Drake forcing all of his friends to do the same.
  • Drake then waking up one of his friends to tell him they all did shots out of his Grammy but not offering a shot out of his Grammy to his friend.
  • Noah “40” Shebib wearing a “No New Friends” tank top.
  • Drake speculating that he’ll put his Grammy in his mom’s house.
  • Drake very respectfully knocking on his friend’s door before going into his room.
  • Drake drunkenly giving the camera a Deep Ass speech featuring an aside about how he was sad he didn’t get to give a speech at the Grammys.
  • Drake renting a sea lion to hang out with him once a week (JK, that was Joe Francis).

Anyways, the actual most Drake thing about this video is that it exists at all. Does he just have one of his friends filming him at all times just in case something happens that could feasibly take place on an episode of Entourage? This video is a mindfuck, because if it wasn’t staged then that means that Drake is just like this every single day and he lives life in a state of permachill with a bunch of dudes. If it is staged, then it proves Drake desperately wants people to think he is cool enough to constantly be throwing dudes-only parties where everybody plays pool and drinks things out of Styrofoam cups but his life actually isn’t like that, and the fact that Drake went to so much hypothetical effort is even more Drake than if Drake just lived his life like that. Or something. The point is, at least Drake isn’t renting sea lions out. Yet.

Drew Millard has never retweeted a rapper's old tweets, but he is still on Twitter - @drewmillard