This Mitt Romney Rap Is Total Bullshit

If you're looking for any more of a reason to blow your head off today, this Mitt Romney rap by a bunch of idiots will do juuuuuust fine. The band is called After Late Hours, and they're a group of suburban white males from Utah that look like they walked out of a casting call for Varsity Blues. There's not much info on them out there, save for this janky YouTube channel. They've made a bunch of amateur videos over the past few years, and this week they put up a new one. About Romney. 

The video is whiter than an iPhone in a snowstorm, featuring a bunch of corn-fed lacrosse types waxing unimaginative over a tacky, canned beat. The lyrics don't say much, just a bunch of mindless pap squeezed between a shitty hook girl crooning "People of the nation/ Come gather for election. Mitt Romney's not the problem/ Mitt Romney's the solution, yeah!" A few lines do stick out though - let's have a little run-down and see what these kids are all about: 

Obama raised taxes on cigarettes to pay for a children's health care program, but in fact he pretty m ouch extended the Bush tax cuts (reducing revenues by about $800 billion), cut taxes for 90% of the country, and cut the stimulus and payroll taxes. Oh wait, actually, he did raise taxes 10% on tanning salons. As one fact checker wrote, "just about every one of the more than 100 million taxpayer, no matter how little they made, has ended up with at least $1,000 in tax cuts under Obama in the past three years." So unless you're an unemployed smoker who tans regularly, you probably made out OK.

So they're repping the fact that Romney's a wealthy business man. That's true. He did walk away from 2011 with nearly 14-million dollars in adjusted gross income. The metaphor places Obama as a man begging for change, and Romney as a multimillionaire, which is pretty offensive... unless you're the Onion.

If you consider the fact that Romney has already insulted England, Poland, and Israel, it might not be the best thing for his voice to be heard across the world. Or rather, his voice is already being heard across the world, and he's being a total dick about everything. 

A lot of old songs are pretty prejudiced, but "Shoo Fly, Don't Bother Me" is so racist it makes the Rev. Jeremiah Wright look like Sojourner Truth. OK, maybe the version you've already heard is OK, but the original version was basically a skinhead rant before it was heavily edited for Disney audiences. I don't want to write out the specifics right here, but check WIkipedia for the lyrics - suffice it to say it's basically Michael Richards stand up routine.

Therefore, these kids are Klansmen, and their rap is garbage. #romney2012