The Twelve Days Of Mero - Weezer's "Christmas With Weezer"
*SKATEBOARDS INTO LIVINGROOM WEARING OLD GYM TSHIRT AND DIRTY SNEAKERS* "WHATS UP DOUCHEBAGS!" *CASUALLY TOUCHES LIPRING THEN JUMPS OVER COUCH* "OH NAH DUDE JUST FUCKIN HANGING.. ITS CHRISTMAS DUDE I GOT SOME SWEET CHRISTMAS MUSIC" *PUTS THIS SHIT ON WHILE BRUSHING GREASY BANGS OUT OF EYES AND DOES AIR GUITAR*
THAT'S THE SCENE IN THE MOVIE FOR THIS SHIT B. A NIGGA SKATEBOARDING DOWN A SNOWY STREET DRESSED LIKE PAUL RUDD IN 1997. YOU CAN NEVER SLANDER WEEZER B THEY ARE PART OF THE HOLY TRINITY OF WHITE PEOPLE BANDS WITH THE BEATLES AND RADIOHEAD. WATCH THE COMMENTS IN THIS SHIT ASSASSINATE MY CHARACTER AND COMPARE ME TO NIGGAS AND SAY I'M PLAYED OUT AND SAY NIGGA TOO MUCH. I LISTENED TO THIS ON STUDIO HEADPHONES AND I CAN HEAR THESE GUYS WEARING GLASSES. YOU CAN'T LISTEN TO THIS SHIT WITHOUT GLASSES AND A CARDIGAN ON; IT'S LIKE LISTENING TO LIL B WITHOUT BEING ON DRUGS. THESE ARE LITERALLY ALL STANDARDS B, SAME LYRICS AND EVERYTHING EXCEPT WITH ELECTRIC GUITARS WHERE THE NIGGAS PLAYING THEM ARE DOING THAT "HIP THRUST WHILE FORLORNLY STARING AT THE GUITAR" SHIT WITH EVERY STRUM. WHY DO ROCK BAND DUDES ALWAYS LOOK LIKE THEY ABOUT TO EJACULATE WHEN THEY PLAY THE GUITAR? OR THEY LOOK LIKE THEY WISH THEY WERE AT THE DENTIST INSTEAD? ROCK DUDES NEVER LOOK MILDLY PLEASED THAT THEY PLAYING A GUITAR. IT'S ONE EXTREME OR THE OTHER. ANYWAY THESE SONGS ARE GREAT FOR WALKING THROUGH THE MALL DURING CHRISTMAS SCOWLING AT KIDS AND DOING A HALFIE CROOKED FLIP GRAB DOWN THE ESCALATOR ON YOUR RAZOR SCOOTER. IF YOU WEARING THAT BEANIE BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS WEAR A BEANIE AND NOT CUZ IT'S COLD THIS IS YOUR SHIT.
I GIVE THIS 3 PILES OF DUTCH GUTS OUT OF 5 BECAUSE THE DUDE'S NAME IS RIVERS AND THAT REMINDS ME OF ROBIN AND BROOKE LOPEZ AND THEN I IMAGINE THEM ALL PLAYING BASKETBALL TOGETHER IN THE WNBA AND LAUGH.
STANDOUT TRACK: THE BONUS TRACK "WE WEARING GLASSES RIGHT NOW MY NIGGA" IS PRETTY COOL IT'S NOT EVEN A CHRISTMAS SONG! FUCKING CURVEBALL DUDE! *HI FIVES SELF*
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