Reviews
The Twelve Days Of Mero - Weezer's "Christmas With Weezer"
*SKATEBOARDS INTO LIVINGROOM WEARING OLD GYM TSHIRT AND DIRTY SNEAKERS* "WHATS UP DOUCHEBAGS!" *CASUALLY TOUCHES LIPRING THEN JUMPS OVER COUCH* "OH NAH DUDE JUST FUCKIN HANGING.. ITS CHRISTMAS DUDE I GOT SOME SWEET CHRISTMAS MUSIC" *PUTS THIS SHIT ON WHILE BRUSHING GREASY BANGS OUT OF EYES AND DOES AIR GUITAR*
THAT'S THE SCENE IN THE MOVIE FOR THIS SHIT B. A NIGGA SKATEBOARDING DOWN A SNOWY STREET DRESSED LIKE PAUL RUDD IN 1997. YOU CAN NEVER SLANDER WEEZER B THEY ARE PART OF THE HOLY TRINITY OF WHITE PEOPLE BANDS WITH THE BEATLES AND RADIOHEAD. WATCH THE COMMENTS IN THIS SHIT ASSASSINATE MY CHARACTER AND COMPARE ME TO NIGGAS AND SAY I'M PLAYED OUT AND SAY NIGGA TOO MUCH. I LISTENED TO THIS ON STUDIO HEADPHONES AND I CAN HEAR THESE GUYS WEARING GLASSES. YOU CAN'T LISTEN TO THIS SHIT WITHOUT GLASSES AND A CARDIGAN ON; IT'S LIKE LISTENING TO LIL B WITHOUT BEING ON DRUGS. THESE ARE LITERALLY ALL STANDARDS B, SAME LYRICS AND EVERYTHING EXCEPT WITH ELECTRIC GUITARS WHERE THE NIGGAS PLAYING THEM ARE DOING THAT "HIP THRUST WHILE FORLORNLY STARING AT THE GUITAR" SHIT WITH EVERY STRUM. WHY DO ROCK BAND DUDES ALWAYS LOOK LIKE THEY ABOUT TO EJACULATE WHEN THEY PLAY THE GUITAR? OR THEY LOOK LIKE THEY WISH THEY WERE AT THE DENTIST INSTEAD? ROCK DUDES NEVER LOOK MILDLY PLEASED THAT THEY PLAYING A GUITAR. IT'S ONE EXTREME OR THE OTHER. ANYWAY THESE SONGS ARE GREAT FOR WALKING THROUGH THE MALL DURING CHRISTMAS SCOWLING AT KIDS AND DOING A HALFIE CROOKED FLIP GRAB DOWN THE ESCALATOR ON YOUR RAZOR SCOOTER. IF YOU WEARING THAT BEANIE BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS WEAR A BEANIE AND NOT CUZ IT'S COLD THIS IS YOUR SHIT.
I GIVE THIS 3 PILES OF DUTCH GUTS OUT OF 5 BECAUSE THE DUDE'S NAME IS RIVERS AND THAT REMINDS ME OF ROBIN AND BROOKE LOPEZ AND THEN I IMAGINE THEM ALL PLAYING BASKETBALL TOGETHER IN THE WNBA AND LAUGH.
STANDOUT TRACK: THE BONUS TRACK "WE WEARING GLASSES RIGHT NOW MY NIGGA" IS PRETTY COOL IT'S NOT EVEN A CHRISTMAS SONG! FUCKING CURVEBALL DUDE! *HI FIVES SELF*
The Kid Mero blogs at Victory Light and dispenses #KNOWLEDGEDARTS while dispelling #COKEDREAMS daily on Twitter - @THEKIDMERO
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Ace of Base's Secret Nazi Past
Before he founded Ace of Base, Ulf Ekberg was a member of Commit Suiside, a Nazi punk band.
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Parquet Courts - "Light Up Gold Road Trip" (Full Documentary)
In this new documentary, Noisey follows rising indie rockers Parquet Courts from Mexico to Texas and London as they tour to support their debut LP, 'Light Up Gold.'
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Yung Lean Doer Is the Weirdest 16-Year-Old White Swedish Rapper You'll Hear This Week
Yung Lean raps over pillow-fluffy beats and raps about glory holes and Arizona Iced Tea. Who the fuck is this kid? And why is he like this?
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Adam Ant - The British Masters, Chapter 6
Noisey's John Doran talks with the great post-punk pop star Adam Ant about tribal body mods and layering tape.
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Photos: Taking Acid at Coachella
When Paley sent these photos in, she included a nice little caveat over email that we've decided to reprint here in full, not only because it's too good to edit, but because her photographs of her and her weird buddies riding the snake are some of the best
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R.I.P. Storm Thorgerson (1944-2013)
On Thursday, the hyper-talented graphic designer, artist, and famed album cover creator Storm Thorgerson passed away after a battle with cancer. He was 69 years old.
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The Internet Is Scary
As of six months ago, my Facebook fanpage is like a dojo where hormonal teenagers hone their technique. Here is a heartfelt poem from some kid who wants to rape, kill, and marry me.
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I Accidentally Touched Little Richard's Butt One Time
It was in the Detroit airport. After it happened Little Richard said, "He graze my derriere."
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Listen to St. Lucia's Remix of The Colourist's "Little Games"
Last month, Cali quartet the Colourist released "Little Games," and St. Lucia just pulled a warm Balearic blanket over the whole thing, sanding away its rough edges with bright synths and lightly gated percussion.
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Aaron Montaigne, Godfather of Screamo, is More Interesting Than You Can Ever Hope to Be - Part Two
On surviving combat in Iraq and Afghanistan with the help of magic, 'Bladerunner,' and everything in between.
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